You know.

I just can't stand being number 2 or number 3.

I have to be first every year.

I'm the greatest Black Friday shopper of all time.

I always have the best set up.

Here.

Yeah, put the cooler over there.

Welcome to my crib, baby!

What's up, guys?

Day 1.

First in line...like every year.

I have to give it up to my wife.

She's loyal, supports everything I do.

Ugh, he does this every year. It's so annoying, but I mean, it gets him out of the house for a couple of days.

People ask me all the time, "How do you prepare yourself?"

I don't.

TV?

Aisle 2!

Rugs?

Aisle 8!

Shower curtains?

Behind me!

High knees! High knees! High knees! High knees! High knees!

Get! Get this slide grab!

Slide grab! Slide grab! Slide grab! Slide grab! Slide grab! Faster!

He thinks that this is some Olympic sport.

Like he has to come in first with a golden medal, okay?

It's shopping and it's on a Black Friday. Relax.

So do you miss your family?

No.

And how far are they from your campsite?

Like 2 blocks.

I don't care about the blender.

Yeah, yeah! I got the blender. Do you know who you're talking to?

Look, I can just get it online.

Look! Look! I will not come home if I don't get that blender, okay?

Get over it, okay?

It's a blender. What are you going to save? 5 dollars?

Everything's calculated.

I'm a beast at what I do!

Today's the day.

I've been waiting for this moment all year.

Woo!

First every year, baby!

Suck it, motherfucker!

I beat you to it! I beat you to it!

3P!

3P!

3P! First in line!

Always. I'm always first.

Alright guys, come on in.

Hold on! Hold on!

Go!

Slow down!

Slowly!

Did you get everything that you wanted?

There was this one item.

The blender!

Aw, I'm so sorry.

Smell it. It's mine

Aw...

No. I really need that.

No, you don't.

Move along.

Bye! Now Merry Christmas! Bye! Bye! Happy Hanukkah!

I mean, at the end of the day, it's just a blender.