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  • “I must be myself, I cannot break myself any longer for you. . .If you can love me

  • for what I am, we shall be the happier. If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that

  • you should.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

  • The great 19th century American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson believed that to flourish

  • we must be a non-conformist. If we just think as others think and do as others do, we limit

  • our potential and place our health or sickness at the mercy of social forces beyond our control.

  • In this video we are going to explore the dangers of conformity, what non-conformity

  • meant for Emerson, and how the non-conformist acts as a force of good in a society gone

  • mad.  

  • Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

  • To be a conformist is to orient our life around the dominant norms, values, and ideals of

  • our society. It is to allow the boundaries and templates of our culture to shape our

  • sense of self. Most of us become conformists without reflecting on what we are doingwe

  • see everyone around us conforming and so it feels natural to do the same. But conformity

  • comes at a price, or as Emerson stated in a lecture given in 1844:

  • “I pay a destructive tax in my conformity.”    Ralph Waldo Emerson, Lecture Read Before

  • the Society in Amory Hall, March 1844

  • In any society only certain character traits are favoured by the trends of conformity,

  • while many otherswhich may be healthy in their own rightare looked upon with

  • indifference or disdain. In our day, for example, extroversion is favoured over introversion,

  • obedience over disobedience, and risk-aversion over risk-taking. Some people may find their

  • inner nature fits the mould of conformity, but many will find the opposite. For those

  • of us in the latter group, conformity is akin to wearing a mask made to fit the mould of

  • another's face. The mask of conformity never feels comfortable and at times it may cause

  • us to feel like a fraud or imposter

  • Conformity also leads to wastewasted time, wasted opportunities, and wasted resources.

  • In the need to satisfy others and maintain appearances, we do things we do not value,

  • say things we do not believe, and obtain things we do not need, or as Emerson writes:  

  • Custom . . . gives me no power therefrom, and runs me in debt to boot. We spend our

  • incomes . . . for a hundred trifles, I know not what, and not for the things of a man.

  • Our expense is almost all for conformity.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Man the Reformer

  • But the dangers of conformity reach pathological levels when, as in our day, a society becomes

  • infected with lies. Politicians lie almost as frequently as they open their mouths. A

  • degenerate education system teaches lies on topics ranging from science, to history, ethics,

  • economics, and politics. The media lies about world events. While corporations lie to us

  • about the value, or safety, of their products. With no shortage of lies percolating throughout

  • society, the modern path of conformity leads in errant ways. It encourages us to go into

  • debt to buy things we don't need, to consume unhealthy foods, to be obedient to those in

  • power, to take pharmaceutical drugs that do more harm than good, to eschew our passion

  • in favour of money or social status, and if we ever feel anxious or depressed, the conformist

  • way is to distract ourselves with screens, or to numb ourselves with psychotropic drugs.  

  • All goes well as long as you run with conformists. But you, who are an honest man in other particulars,

  • know that there is alive somewhere a man whose honesty reaches to this point also, that he

  • shall not kneel to false gods, and, on the day when you meet him, you sink into the class

  • of counterfeits. . . If you take in a lie, you must take in all that belongs to it.”

  •   Ralph Waldo Emerson, Religion

  • To be a non-conformist, in the modern world, is to renounce the lies that shape our society

  • and to renounce the self that has been shaped by these lies. This act of renunciation paves

  • the way for self-transformation, or as Emerson writes: “The man who renounces himself,

  • comes to himself.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson, Lecture to Divinity Students). When we abandon

  • the habits of conformity and stop pursing its ideals, we clear the way for the emergence

  • of a more authentic state of being. We take off the false mask of conformity and permit

  • our individual personality to shine through. But our renunciation should not be limited

  • to self-renunciation, we should also renounce affiliation with organizations and institutions

  • that are infiltrated by the lies of our society. For a non-conformist, according to Emerson,

  • must stand under his or her own banner, not the banner of another:  

  • It is only as a man puts off all foreign support, and stands alone, that I see him

  • to be strong and to prevail. He is weaker by every recruit to his banner.”

  • Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

  • Along with the act of renunciation, the non-conformist must establish a new direction in life as

  • merely rejecting conformist ways, without replacing them with something new, will leave

  • us in a pit of aimless and meaningless despair. We need new pursuits to keep us occupied,

  • new habits to keep our life structured, and new goals to give us direction. In the process

  • of re-orienting our life, we should work with what nature has granted us, as it is by cultivating

  • our strengths and talents and aligning our life around pursuits we enjoy, that we unleash

  • our power and pave the way for a great life, or as Emerson writes

  • There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction . . that

  • though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him

  • but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The

  • power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he

  • can do, nor does he know until he has tried.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

  • If conformity has led us astray and we don't know where truth lies or what the plot of

  • ground we are meant to till consists of, spending time in solitude can help correct for this

  • confusion. Away from the chatter and distraction of other minds, solitude can help us understand

  • who we are and what we want from life. There are voices, wrote Emersonwhich we hear

  • in solitude, [that] grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world.” (Ralph Waldo

  • Emerson, Self-Reliance).  Emerson, however, while valuing solitude, did not believe the

  • non-conformist should be a recluse. To flourish as a non-conformist is to strike the optimal

  • balance between solitude and society. We must learn to live in harmony with others without

  • an excessive need to gain their approval or to mimic their errant ways. Or as Emerson

  • put it

  • Solitude is impracticable, and society fatal. We must keep our head in the one and

  • our hands in the other. The conditions are met, if we keep our independence, yet do not

  • lose our sympathy.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Society and Solitude

  • Many people recognize the sickness of modern society, but few choose a path of non-conformity

  • as the means of escape. One reason for this is fear, and specifically a fear of ridicule

  • and rejection. The non-conformist must overcome this fear, or at least learn that constructive,

  • non-conformist action can be taken even when consumed by fear

  • What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule. . .may

  • serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. . .It is easy in the world to

  • live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the

  • great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence

  • of solitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

  • In learning to deal with ridicule and rejection it can be helpful to recognize a constructive

  • value to this experience. Not only does it provide us with an opportunity to cultivate

  • the courage of acting in the face of our fears, but furthermore, those who treat us with contempt

  • sometimes reveal truths of our character that those who care for us are too timid to point

  • out. But even if the ridicule is not constructive, even if it is based on envy or lies, we can

  • use the disapproval of others as motivating fuel that impels us to greater heights, and

  • as Emerson writes

  • Dear to us are those who love us; the swift moments we spend with them are a compensation

  • for a great deal of misery; they enlarge our life; but dearer are those who reject us as

  • unworthy, for they add another life: they build a heaven before us whereof we had not

  • dreamed, and thereby supply to us new powers out of the recesses of the spirit, and urge

  • us to new and unattempted performances.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, New England Reformers

  • If we learn to conquer the fear of ridicule and rejection, we will possess a crucial skill

  • in the art of non-conformity. But there is another barrier that prevents many from going

  • the way of a non-conformist and this is laziness. To cultivate our own path through life requires

  • hard work, discipline, and a ruthless persistence of action. For Emerson's non-conformist

  • is not passive, he is an active agent striving to change the world. Once the non-conformist

  • selects a valuable goal, he sticks to it and is not driven off course merely because a

  • bunch conformists disapprove of his ways, or as Emerson writes

  • All men have wandering impulses, fits and starts of generosity. But when you have chosen

  • your part, abide by it, and do not weakly try to reconcile yourself with the world.”

  • Ralph Waldo Emerson, Heroism

  • Or as he writes elsewhere

  • If you would serve your brother, because it is fit for you to serve him, do not take

  • back your words when you find that prudent people do not commend you. Adhere to your

  • own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done something strange and extravagant

  • and broken the monotony of a decorous age. It was a high counsel that I once heard given

  • to a young person – “Always do what you are afraid to do.”

  • Ralph Waldo Emerson, Heroism

  • Following a non-conformist path will make us healthier, happier, and more powerful,

  • but it will also turn us into a force of good in the world. For the inner state of our being

  • manifests the events of the outer world, or as Emerson put it: “A man will see his

  • character emitted in the events that seem to meet [him], but which exude from and accompany

  • him.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson, The Conduct of LifeConformists, in living by lies,

  • are manifesting a sick society. The non-conformist, in aligning himself with the truth of his

  • inner nature and the truth of the world, will manifest events that act as the antidote to

  • a world gone mad.  

  • In the thought of tomorrow there is a power to upheave . . .all the creeds. . .of the

  • nations, and marshal thee to a heaven which no epic dream has yet depicted. Every man

  • is not so much a workman in the world, as he is a suggestion of that he should be. Men

  • walk as prophecies of the next age.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Circles

“I must be myself, I cannot break myself any longer for you. . .If you can love me

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