I've seen enough movies to know that ghosts only haunt houses,

not one-bedroom apartments.

I've seen enough Hollywood movies to know that ghosts only haunt rich people's houses in the suburbs,

preferably with a newborn baby 'cause they got way too much to lose.

Shit is high stakes.

I live by myself. I ain't got nothing to lose. A ghost come haunt on me, I just move.

Worst come to worst, I lose my security deposit, fxxk it, you know. 

What's the ghost going to do?

He's going to follow me from unit to unit.

Start knocking on my light fixtures and shit. I'm like, "Hey dog, go ahead it's not mine."

"You fxxk around, we both get evicted, okay? You don't want to be a homeless ghost."

And if you really think about it, what kind of loser ghost haunt an apartment?

That means that ghost probably died in that apartment. He didn't even die a homeowner.

I ain't got no respect for that shit.

He comes haunt me, I just started talking shit to him like,

"Hey dog, what's your credit score when you died though, like for real."