A lot of Asian people coming up to me, very proud, very nice.

They're like, "Jimmy, thank you for representing the Asians, man."

Yeah, I'm like, "Hey, hey, you're welcome."

But you do understand it's not really a choice, right?

Like when you wake up Asian, you can only represent Asians.

I couldn't just wake up one day like, "Fuck it. I'm gonna Nigerians today."

I'm very proud to represent the Asians, but at the same time, there's so much pressure.

Like nobody ever went up to Matt Damon and be like, "Hey, Matt, thanks for representing the whites."

Sounds weird. That's like a different conversation for some reason, you know.

If somebody came up to me and be like, "Hey, Jimmy, I'm representing for the whites,"

I would leave that town immediately and never come back.

So much pressure to represent. I gotta be a good Asian everywhere now.

I gotta tip everywhere I go.

That was one of the major advantages of being Asian is (that) I can just pretend I don't know how to tip.

Y'all know what a Chinese tip is.

Chinese tip, it doesn't matter how big your bill is, you tip $2.

That's Chinese tip, man.

Now I gotta tip 20% everywhere; I gotta give every Uber driver a five star rating just so I can be a good representative.

Everywhere I go, I gotta represent, even day-to-day shit.

Even the bedroom, I gotta represent.

After I hooked up with this one girl, this is what she said to me.

She was like, "Jimmy, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're the first Asian guy I've ever been with."

I'm like, "Okay."

What do you want, a fortune cookie? Like wha-

Like, what do you want?

She acted like she just unlocked a new character on Street Fighter or some shit.

Why do you feel the need to say that?

This one girl said this shit that was so disrespectful.

This is what she said to me after we hooked up.

She was like, "Jimmy, I'm just glad the stereotype is not true. You don't have a small penis."

And I'm like, "Bitch, you understand, you just insulted my entire race of people.

But thank you."

First of all, thank you for thinking that I did have a small penis and we still had sex.

You're the real MVP.

You get two fortune cookies tonight, miss.

But that's a fucked up stereotype, right?

That's not even true.

That's a fucked up stereotype.

Everybody should have average dick until proven guilty.

I don't care how tall you are.

What ethnicity you are.

How big your hands are?

Everybody should start an average dick: eight inches.

And we go from there.

There's so much pressure, man.

I feel like every time I have sex, there's a billion Chinese people on my back.

Just judging me.

I gotta make sure I perform and represent, you know.

I gotta get him an extra pump for my uncle in Shanghai, an extra pump for my nephew in Hong Kong and shit.

It's like, oh my God, that's why you see all Asian people, they'd be walking like this just like...

It's so much pressure.