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hey what have you been up to lately if I asked you this question would you go oh uh oh no
how do I respond I'll never fear today I have some good news in the next 30 minutes you
are going to learn my top tips for having a successful conversation in English so that
you can breathe easy and never fear having an English conversation again hi I'm Vanessa
from speak English with vanessa.com and like always I have created a free pdf worksheet
for you with all of today's amazing tips so that you can print it out put it under your
pillow sleep on it and dream about beautiful English conversations and feel confident the
next time that you need to speak in English you can click on the link in the description
to download this free pdf worksheet today in today's lesson you will learn how to start
a conversation in English some easy small talk tips in English and some bonus tips about
having amazing conversations yes this lesson is for free for you can you believe it here
it is all right let's get started with my top tips to help you start a conversation
in English in life there are two kinds of people people you know and people you don't
know we call those strangers so it makes sense to have two different types of conversation
starters of course there's some overlap but it's helpful to separate them let's start
with people you know imagine that you're in the grocery store you're pushing your car
looking for some spinach and you see your co-worker and you want to say hi what can
you say well here are four great questions that you can ask in that situation or that
they might ask you so you need to understand them and how to respond the first two questions
are about the past let's take a look
hi Dan Hi how are you pretty good what have you been up to lately oh not much just went
to see my family yesterday what about you hi Dan Hi how are you pretty good what were
you up to this weekend oh not much just went to see my family yesterday what about you
these questions asked about sometime in the past you can change the words to say lately
today last weekend for a recent holiday you can switch that up depending on the situation
but it's great to ask about the past the next questions are going to ask about the present
what do you have going on today oh not much just going to a friend's house this evening
what about you what have you got going on today oh not much just going to a friend's
house this evening what about you these questions asked about the present did you notice the
beautiful casual verbs that were used here what have you got going on today what have
you got going on today what are you doing today that's another way to say it but we
often say what have you got going on today and it's really casual informal it's great
for these just passing by situations when you see someone who you already know let's
go on to the next questions which talk about the future
do you have anything fun going on this weekend oh not much just going to a friend's house
tomorrow what about you do you have any plans for Easter oh not much just going to have
lunch with my family what about you for these questions that ask about the future I want
you to be a little bit careful because if you say this with a certain type of intonation
the other person especially if you're a guy talking to a girl it could feel like you're
trying to ask them on a date or maybe they'll feel a little bit uncomfortable so make sure
that when you say oh do you have anything fun going on this weekend make sure you say
it with a smile very casually you don't need to look them into the eye and say it seriously
from the bottom of your heart it's just a casual question of course unless you do want
to ask them for a date and then you can say it a little more seriously but if you just
want to casually say something to your co-worker you need to have a light tone don't worry
about using this just make sure you have a light tone and you say it with a smile oh
do you have anything fun going on this weekend great like you saw in the sample conversations
Dan could have just said not much and then stop the conversation boring boring boring
but you know what some people do that if you're lucky the person you're talking to might ask
not much what about you okay at least they're asking a question and you can share some information
about what you're doing or what you did over the weekend so here not everyone is going
to give a lot of information but they might give you something and if they don't don't
worry about it it's not your fault you tried your best what about the second kind of people
people you don't know strangers in the US we sometimes strike up a conversation with
strangers but it depends where you are for example in the south of the US where I live
it's pretty common that when you pass by a stranger you make eye contact and you might
say hi but if you're in Manhattan in New York if you did that to every stranger who you
passed by hi hi hi uh people would think you were a little bit strange so it depends on
where you are in the US but it's certainly common to strike up a conversation with someone
who you don't know if you visit the US I recommend visiting a grocery store called Trader Joe's
because it's a requirement for working there that every employee is amazing at having small
talk conversations with strangers and it's part of their job to talk with customers so
if you have ever visited a trade Trader Joe's you know exactly what I mean these employees
are known for being so kind and so friendly and if you go there be prepared with some
of these questions and be prepared to answer them because they'll definitely ask you them
let's think about a scenario where you might talk with a stranger we can imagine you're
in the park you're walking your dog and like dogs do your dog is sniffing and going towards
another dog well you'd like to strike up a conversation with the owner of that dog what
can you say
Vanessa: Hey, what have you been up to lately?
If I asked you this question, would you go, "Oh, no, how do I respond?"
Well, never fear, today I have some good news.
In the next 30 minutes, you are going to learn my top tips for having a successful conversation
in English so that you can breathe easy and never fear having an English conversation
again.
Hi, I'm Vanessa from SpeakEnglishWithVanessa.com, and like always, I have created a free PDF
worksheet for you with all of today's amazing tips so that you can print it out, put it
under your pillow, sleep on it, and dream about beautiful English conversations and
feel confident the next time that you need to speak in English.
You can click on the link in the description to download this free PDF worksheet today.
In today's lesson, you will learn how to start a conversation in English, some easy small
talk tips in English, and some bonus tips about having amazing conversations.
Yes, this lesson is for free for you.
Can you believe it?
Here it is.
All right, let's get started with my top tips to help you start a conversation in English.
In life, there are two kinds of people, people you know and people you don't know, we call
those strangers.
So it makes sense to have two different types of conversation starters.
Of course, there's some overlap, but it's helpful to separate them.
Let's start with people you know.
Imagine that you're in the grocery store, you're pushing your car, looking for some
spinach, and you see your coworker and you want to say, hi, what can you say?
Well, here are four great questions that you can ask in that situation or that they might
ask you, so you need to understand them and how to respond.
The first two questions are about the past.
Let's take a look.
Hi, Dan.
Dan: Hi.
Vanessa: How are you?
Dan: Pretty good.
Vanessa: What have you been up to lately?
Dan: Oh, not much.
Just went to see my family yesterday.
What about you?
Vanessa: Hi, Dan.
Dan: Hi.
Vanessa: How are you?
Dan: Pretty good.
Vanessa: What were you up to this weekend?
Dan: Oh, not much.
Just went to see my family yesterday.
What about you?
Vanessa: These questions asked about some time in the
past.
You can change the words to say lately, today, last weekend, for a recent holiday.
You can switch that up depending on the situation, but it's great to ask about the past.
The next questions are going to ask about the present.
What do you have going on today?
Dan: Oh, not much.
Just going to a friend's house this evening.
What about you?
Vanessa: What have you got going on today?
Dan: Oh, not much.
Just going to a friend's house this evening.
What about you?
Vanessa: These questions asked about the present.
Did you notice the beautiful casual verbs that were used here?
What have you got going on today?
What have you got going on today?
What are you doing today?
That's another way to say it, but we often say, "What have you got going on today?"
And it's really casual, informal.
It's great for these just passing-by situations when you see someone who you already know.
Let's go on to the next questions which talk about the future.
Do you have anything fun going on this weekend?
Dan: Oh, not much.
Just going to a friend's house tomorrow.
What about you?
Vanessa: Do you have any plans for Easter?
Dan: Oh, not much.
Just going to have lunch with my family.
What about you?
Vanessa: For these questions that ask about the future,
I want you to be a little bit careful because if you say this with a certain type of intonation,
the other person, especially if you're a guy talking to a girl, it could feel like you're
trying to ask them on a date or maybe they'll feel a little bit uncomfortable.
So make sure that when you say, "Oh, do you have anything fun going on this weekend?"
Make sure you say it with a smile very casually.
You don't need to look them into the eye and say it seriously from the bottom of your heart.
It's just a casual question.
Of course, unless you do want to ask them for a date, and then you can say it a little
more seriously.
But if you just want to casually say something to your coworker, you need to have a light
tone.
Don't worry about using this.
Just make sure you have a light tone and you say it with a smile, "Oh, do you have anything
fun going on this weekend?"
Great.
Like you saw in those sample conversations, Dan could have just said, "Not much," and
then stopped the conversation.
Boring, boring, boring.
But you know what?
Some people do that.
If you're lucky, the person you're talking to might ask, "Not much.
What about you?"
Okay, at least they're asking a question and you can share some information about what
you are doing or what you did over the weekend.
So here, not everyone is going to give a lot of information, but they might give you something
and if they don't, don't worry about it.
It's not your fault, you tried your best.
What about the second kind of people, people you don't know, strangers?
In the US, we sometimes strike up a conversation with strangers, but it depends where you are.
For example, in the South of the US where I live, it's pretty common that when you pass
by a stranger you make eye contact and you might say, "Hi."
But if you're in Manhattan, in New York, if you did that to every stranger who you passed
by, "Hi, hi, hi," people would think you were a little bit strange.
So it depends on where you are in the US, but it's certainly common to strike up a conversation
with someone who you don't know.
If you visit the US, I recommend visiting a grocery store called Trader Joe's because
it's a requirement for working there that every employee is amazing at having small
talk conversations with strangers and it's part of their job to talk with customers.
So if you have ever visited a Trader Joe's, you know exactly what I mean.
These employees are known for being so kind and so friendly, and if you go there, be prepared
with some of these questions and be prepared to answer them because they'll definitely
ask you them.
Let's think about a scenario where you might talk with a stranger.
We can imagine you're in the park, you're walking your dog, and like dogs do, your dog
is sniffing and going towards another dog.
Well, you'd like to strike up a conversation with the owner of that dog.
What can you say?
Oh, what a cute dog.
Do you come here often?
Dan: Yeah, we try to.
It's a great place to walk.
Vanessa: Aw, what a cute dog.
Have you ever been here before?
Dan: Yeah, a lot.
It's a great place to walk.
Vanessa: Aw, what a cute dog.
Dan: Yeah, he's a sweetie.
Vanessa: Have you been in Asheville for a while?
Dan: Just two years.
What about you?
Vanessa: Oh, what a cute dog.
Dan: Yeah, he's a sweetie.
Vanessa: Do you live nearby?
Dan: Yeah, we live just down the street.
What about you?
Vanessa: Like with the previous set of questions, it's
important to have a light attitude.
If you ask someone, "Do you come here often?"
The other person might feel a little bit uncomfortable like, "Are they following me?
Are they a scary person?"
So make sure you just say it lightly, "Oh, do you come here often?"
No problem.
This is a great question to ask, and I ask this all the time when I go to the park and
I'm playing with my toddler and he ends up playing with another kid and I ask the parent,
"Oh, do you come here often?"
It's just a way to start a conversation.
Okay, now it's special notice time.
I want to let you know that not everyone is a great conversationalist.
You have to try your best and practice this.
So if you ask these questions to someone and they don't respond and you don't have an amazing
conversation, you know what?
Maybe they're just not a good conversationalist.
Maybe they haven't practiced this skill, so I want you to be able to try your best and
then it's really up to the other person.
It's their choice if the conversation continues.
You might be thinking, "Vanessa, you seem like a good conversationalist, what do you
know about being worried about what to say or not knowing what to say?"
Let me tell you a little story.
Well, Dan and I lived in South Korea for three years, so that means that for three years,
every time that I had small talk or started a conversation with someone, it was in Korean.
That means that I didn't practice small talk in English for three years.
When we moved back to the US, I remember two situations.
One was when I was getting my driver's license because we had just moved back, so I needed
my driver's license again, and the man at the desk said something to me like, "Have
you just moved here," or, "How's your day going?"
Some kind of typical small talk question, and I just stood there and I stuttered and
I didn't really know what to say and then he repeated the question and I said something,
probably something silly.
And when I walked away from that conversation, I just laughed and thought, "What happened?
This is my native language, why can't I respond to him?"
And then I realized, "Oh, I haven't practiced small talk with strangers in English in three
years.
I'm going to need a little bit of practice to get used to speaking like that again."
Then, a few weeks later, I was at Trader Joe's, the grocery store that I mentioned to you,
and I was getting a sample of food from one of the workers and she asked me some typical
question.
I don't even remember what it was, but it was some kind of small talk question and my
brain just went and shut down completely.
And I recognized this feeling because it had happened a couple of weeks earlier at the
driver's license place, so I thought I should just tell her why I am reacting like this.
So I said, "I'm sorry, I just moved back from Korea and I haven't had small talk in English
for a long time, so I'm sorry about my awkwardness."
And you know what?
She had lived in Korea too.
It was a really unusual circumstance, but we bonded over that and I could kind of loosen
up a little bit and feel comfortable because we started talking a little bit and this helped
me to get practice and practice and practice.
And repetition is what's going to help you to really improve the skill.
Always remember that a smile is the best tool.
Sometimes when we feel nervous, our face gets really serious and we forget to smile, but
something happens when you smile, you start to loosen up, you start to feel a little more
comfortable, and maybe you'll be able to remember some of the sentences and questions that we
talked about.
Great work leveling up your skills so that you can start a conversation in English.
Now you're going to learn some easy small talk tips in English.
This will help you to feel comfortable going beyond the basics and connecting with someone
else.
Let's watch.
Small talk means that you are not just saying, "Hi, see you later.
Bye."
Instead, you are having a short, light conversation, usually with someone in passing or before
you're going to have a more in-depth discussion, so when you see someone you know at the grocery
store, when you have a quick conversation with a coworker as you are eating lunch or
maybe when you're just wanting to make a new friend, you need to have good small talk skills.
The first topic is weather.
Weather is a very simple, non-controversial neutral topic, unless you're talking about
climate change.
In that case, it's a little more serious to talk about, but we often use this as an icebreaker.
An icebreaker is a common expression we use when talking about introducing a conversation.
You're helping it to become less awkward.
You're having some icebreaker or small talk discussion and then you can relax and have
a normal discussion.
Some common weather questions you might ask are, "Isn't it a gorgeous day?
Can you believe how rainy it's been?
Is it hot enough for you?"
This last one might seem a little strange, but it is a silly or humorous way to address
how extremely hot the weather is or maybe extremely cold.
If you say, "Is it cold enough for you?"
you're joking about the extreme temperature that you're experiencing and it's a light
way to introduce a conversation.
Notice that all three of these questions are not open-ended questions.
They are only yes or no questions, and this makes it a very simple way to introduce a
conversation.
The other person doesn't need to think about some kind of answer, they can just say, "Yes,
it is a gorgeous day.
Yes, it is so rainy.
Yes, it's really hot."
Very simple, and it makes for a comfortable introduction.
If you would like to learn some more ways to talk about the weather, I made a lesson
completely dedicated to the weather, a hundred expressions for talking about the weather,
and you can watch that lesson up here to expand your weather vocabulary.
Our second small talk topic is where you are at or your location.
Now you need to think about this, of course, in an understanding way.
If you are at a hospital, you might not want to ask these questions because if you say,
"Do you come here often," and they're at the hospital, it might be a little bit too sensitive
to talk about, but you can use these questions for any type of location like a park, the
zoo, a library, a museum, walking down the street.
You can use these for most daily life situations.
So let's imagine that you see someone who you've met a couple of times but you don't
know that well.
You might talk about where you're at and you might ask, "This place is great.
Do you come here often?
How long have you been coming here?
Do you live near here?"
If you're at a dog park, these are pretty common in the US, people bring their dogs
and their dogs can run freely together, well, great, you already have something in common
because that other person probably has a dog.
Or if you're at the library, you both have an interest in books, so you have something
in common, your location, and you can ask these questions, "Do you come here often?
How long have you been coming here?
Do you live near here?
Do you live in the area?"
Great.
Let's say that you're somewhere that's not a regular hangout, like a coffee shop or a
library or a park.
Let's imagine that you are at the zoo or a museum, these kind of special occasion places.
You could ask, "Have you seen the da Vinci exhibit?
It's really cool."
Or, "Which exhibit do you like the most?
Have you seen the monkey exhibit?
It's amazing."
You can use this to talk about the location where you're at.
What if you are in transit somewhere?
Maybe you're at an airport, you're at a train station, you're waiting for your subway to
show up.
Well, what are some questions you could ask to someone who maybe you don't know and you
want to start a conversation with?
You might ask, "So where are you headed?"
Headed is a verb that we often use to say, which direction are you going to?
I'm headed to the office.
I'm headed to San Francisco.
I'm headed to some place.
This is a great question to ask and I just want to let you know that if you ask someone
this and say, "Oh, so where are you headed?"
And they say, "To work."
Okay, maybe they're not open to conversation, they just gave you a one-word answer, two-word
answer, that's completely fine.
Not everyone is going to be open to conversation, but I've started a lot of great conversations
and even friendships by trying to just give it a try.
Try to speak with someone else who you feel might be open to having a conversation and
also respecting other people's distance if they're not interested.
When you have established that the other person might be interested in talking, if they say,
"I'm headed to San Francisco," you could ask, "Are you traveling for business or pleasure?"
Business is kind of obvious, for work.
Pleasure might mean they're visiting family or they're doing something for fun, for vacation,
something like this, and this is a good way to continue the conversation.
Of course, you have to be aware that if someone is traveling for a sensitive reason, for example,
they're going to a funeral, don't push the topic too much and you can just shift your
questions accordingly so that the other person also feels comfortable.
Our third topic for small talk conversation is to talk about your plans.
You can talk about the past and the present and the future.
In this first scenario, you run into someone who you kind of know but you maybe don't know
too well or you haven't seen them in a little while.
You can ask them, "Hey, how are you?
What have you been up to?"
You don't need to ask, "How are you?"
but it just feels really comfortable and it introduces the conversation instead of being
like an interrogation, "Hey, what have you been up to?"
Instead, when you say, "Hey, how are you?
What have you been up to?"
You can smoothly introduce the conversation.
If you haven't seen this person in a while, you might say, "We have so much to catch up
on.
What are you up to this weekend?"
This is asking about the future, this future weekend.
What are you up to?
Now, of course, if you're asking this, it means that you would like to get together
with the other person and catch up.
This phrasal verb to catch up means that you are learning about what has happened to them
in the past.
Maybe you don't know.
You haven't seen them since elementary school, so you have a lot to catch up on.
You want to know what's going on in their life.
So if you ask this, be prepared to make some plans and to have some availability, that
way, you can follow through on your question.
You can also ask the informal question, "Do you want to grab coffee?
Do you want to grab a drink?
Do you want to grab lunch, brunch, dinner, and catch up to grab something?"
Usually, we use this in a very informal situation so that it doesn't seem like you need to sit
there and talk for five hours.
Instead, you're just going to grab a coffee, maybe a 30-minute conversation, one-hour conversation,
very informal and spontaneous, and it's also potentially an easier way to not make someone
feel uncomfortable if they say no because it's not so serious.
Just a little note, if you are a guy asking a girl or any combination, I imagine, if you
say, "Do you want to grab coffee with me?"
make sure that you say this very lightly if you don't want to ask them on a date because,
for me, if a guy tells me this and says, "Hey, do you want to grab lunch later," and they
don't know me or they don't know that I'm married, then I will feel really uncomfortable
because is it a date?
Is it not a date?
Do I want to just talk with them?
So make sure that if you are in this situation, you just ask in a very light and happy manner.
Of course, if you do want to ask them on a date, this is a good question to ask.
And finally, talking about your plans, we have two very safe questions you can ask.
The first one is, "I can't believe it's already time for," some kind of holiday.
Whatever holiday is coming up.
"I can't believe it's already time for Thanksgiving.
I can't believe it's already time for Christmas, for the New Year, for spring break.
Do you have any plans?"
And this is asking them about the future.
What are you going to do for the holiday season?
Or you can simply ask, "Do you have any plans for this weekend?"
Ask it very lightly so they know that you are just simply asking, "Hey, what are you
up to this weekend?
Do you have any plans for this weekend?"
Great small talk.
Our next small talk topic is a job.
Even if you're talking with someone who you work with, you can alter these questions slightly
and still talk about your job with them.
In fact, it might be the best option because it's something that you already have in common.
If you're talking with someone you've never met before, this is a great question to ask,
"So what do you do?"
Or, "So what do you do for work?"
Sometimes we leave off the last part, "for work," and we simply ask, "So what do you
do?"
This might seem a little bit vague for English learners who've never heard this expression
before, but it is extremely common.
So I want to make sure that when someone asks you, "So what do you do?"
You might say, "What do I do?
Well, I eat breakfast, I wake up, I breathe, I like to run."
No, no, no, this is talking about your job.
What do you do?
Next, you could ask them, "How long have you been doing this job?
How long have you been an architect?
How long have you been a nurse?
How long have you been a builder?"
Well, this is great.
You're trying to ask some more details.
If they haven't done that job for very long, you can follow that up with, "So what did
you do before this?"
What did you do before this?
This means this current job.
What was your previous job?
Or maybe you were a student or maybe you were traveling.
What did you do before this?
You might notice that I'm starting a lot of these questions with the word, "So."
And it just provides a smooth entrance to your question so that it doesn't sound like
an interrogation.
What do you do?
How often have you done this?
Where are you coming?
How often do you come here?
If you ask questions like this, the other person will feel uncomfortable.
So we often add these filler words like so to make it seem more casual and just more
natural, "So, what did you do before this?
So, how long have you done this job?"
Great idea.
If someone really likes their job, you could ask, "So what made you get into architecture?
So what made you get into teaching?"
If someone is a teacher, I'm sure they'd love to share about how they became interested
in teaching, and that's what the essence of this question is.
So how did you get into teaching, especially if you have an unusual job like my job, which
is to teach you English online.
A lot of people ask me this question, "How did you get into teaching English on YouTube
and online?"
So I tell a little background story about teaching English in the classroom, and then
I was searching online for how to teach English in the US and I found out I could teach English
online, and I just started to dive into it and give it a try.
This is a little background story to talk about how I became interested in my current
job.
Not everybody likes their job though, so if someone doesn't seem that excited about their
job and you want to learn more about them, you could ask them this fun question, which
is, "If money was no object, what job would you do?"
This means if you didn't need to make money or you didn't care about how much money you
had, what kind of job would you have?
This is a classic question, and it really gets to the heart of someone's passion.
Maybe they love horses, but they just don't think they can make a career out of loving
horses.
So they might say, "Oh, I really wish I could be a horse trainer and teach people how to
ride horses."
Well, great.
All of a sudden, you have a treasure, which is a piece of information about the other
person, they love horses.
Great.
You want to make sure that when you learn something interesting about other people,
you store that away because it's a great way to continue conversations or to bring up something
interesting with them.
What if you're talking with someone who you work with?
How can you talk about your job?
Because you can't ask them, "What do you do?"
Well, I guess unless you don't really know what part of the company they work for, but
in general, we want to ask more specific questions.
So let's imagine this scenario.
You are in the lunchroom.
Most offices in the US have a break room or a lunchroom with some tables and a microwave,
maybe a sink so that you can heat up your food or wash some dishes, and you are waiting
for your food to heat up.
You brought some leftover soup.
This is a very detailed scenario.
You brought some leftover chicken noodle soup and you put it in the microwave to heat up,
but you've got two minutes and there's somebody who works with you standing beside you.
What do you do?
What do you say?
Don't worry, I'm here to save you.
You can ask these three questions.
If you know which department they work in, you might say, "Hey, what's new in the marketing
department today?"
If they work in marketing.
Or if they work in management, you might say, "Hey, what's new in management today?"
Cool, great, you know a little bit about them, but you're just having some small talk.
Or if you know they're working on a project, you could say, "How's your project going?"
Or if you have no idea what they're doing, you might say, "Do you have any fun or exciting
projects coming up?"
You're asking about the future, what kind of things they're planning for.
Not everybody is great at small talk, so they might just say, "Nope, not much."
Okay.
Not everybody is willing to have small talk, but who knows?
Maybe they'll say, "Yeah, we're working on this really cool initiative.
We're working with a charity, and we're going to try to raise some funds for this organization."
And maybe they're excited about it and will want to share it.
Maybe they've just been dying to share this with someone and you were that opportunity.
So it's worth a try, you never know, give small talk a shot.
Before we go, I want to give you four tips for excellent small talk.
These are general ideas about conversation, but they are essential for connecting with
someone else.
Number one is put your phone away.
This seems like a basic thing, right, but sometimes we don't realize how often we are
opening our phone, checking our messages.
There's a little buzz and you open your phone.
This is disconnecting you from the person you're talking with.
So when you're trying to have small talk, keep your phone in your pocket, keep your
phone away.
If you have an emergency or urgent phone call, you can just say, "Excuse me, I'm sorry.
I have to take this."
And that means you have to talk with that person, "I'm sorry, it's my boss.
I have to talk with him.
I'll be back."
And you have to take that emergency call.
But in general, for small talk, keep your phone away.
My second tip is to be curious about the other person.
This is one of the great joys in life, I think, is getting to know other people and being
very sincere about getting to know them.
You're not just a robot blindly asking questions.
No, you want to get to know another person, even if it's just for one minute while you're
waiting for your food to heat up in the microwave, that chicken noodle soup, so you can get to
know someone else.
Be curious.
A great way is to ask why or how questions, "Oh, why did you decide to get this type of
dog?"
Or, "How long have you had this dog?"
Wow, this is a great way to ask further questions.
Of course, don't interrogate them.
Why did you get this dog?
How long have you had him.
No, you can just be friendly.
Be yourself, but these open questions with why and how show the other person that you
are sincerely interested in their choices and their life.
My third tip is what I just mentioned, which is do not interrogate the other person.
Instead, just be genuine and interested in them.
If you feel like you're asking too many questions, do you know what you can do?
You can share about yourself.
This is something that's also essential to do, but not easy for everyone.
If someone says that they are a math teacher, you might say, "Oh, you know what?
When I was in high school, I had an awesome math teacher who was a really special person."
Okay, that's really short, but you are sharing some kind of connection from your personal
life, and this helps you to not interrogate them.
Instead, you are also giving.
You're not just taking their answers, instead, you are giving from yourself as well.
My fourth tip for great small talk is to avoid your personal favorite topic.
So if, for example, you are really into gardening and growing vegetables, but you have a feeling
that the other person has no experience with this, well, you want to keep the conversation
balanced.
Of course, you can say, "Yeah, I'm really into gardening and I've been working hard
to be able to grow lots of kinds of vegetables in the spring."
Okay, that's great, but if you keep talking on and on and on about it, well, that's not
a balanced conversation.
Of course, you can share what you're interested in, but make sure that you don't get carried
away lecturing the other person about your favorite topic.
Well, congratulations.
Now you are armed and ready to have amazing English conversations.
Don't forget to download the free PDF worksheet, which includes everything that you learned
in today's lesson, all of the tips, all of the sentences, all of the ideas, so that you
can feel confident and comfortable speaking in English.
Click on the link in the description to download the free PDF worksheet today.
Well, thank you so much for learning English with me, and I'll see you again next Friday
for a new lesson here on my YouTube channel.
Bye.
But wait, do you want more?
I recommend watching this video next, the top 20 speaking mistakes that English learners
often make, including one mistake that my English students make, which can be quite
rude, but you don't want to be rude.
I don't want you to be rude, so watch that video to find out how you can be polite.