Name: Is table etiquette classist upper class mannerisms? Dee Hsu and Li Wen Spark Debate.
Uploaded: 2023-04-11T13:38:50.000Z
Duration: 17 min 31 s

Last week, a famous celebrity Xiǎo S posted a  photo of her two daughters eating at home with  

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her, which then was criticized by Li Wen, the  daughter of writer Li Ao, for improper table  

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etiquette. Li Wen then received backlash from the  internet for being perceived as having an overly  

strong opinion on the daily lives of others.  In response to the backlash, she wrote back  

several comments that ended up rubbing people  the wrong way. Here are some of the sentences  

in her comments that I roughly translated  into English: Quote: “To be a public figure,  

especially one with such a high reputation, you  must set a good example. With so much money,  

you can help children find experts, help them, and  educate them….” “It is understandable that your  

mother was not born into a good family, so why  don't you help your underage children with such  

good resources for your next generation.” “This is  a phenomenon in Taiwan, which I call the "Xiǎo S  

phenomenon" How many young people in Taiwan care  about their basic etiquette now? They only care  

about gaming, being YouTubers, uber food delivery,  plastic surgery, and blindly living every day,  

but they don't know basic manners. Isn't this the  tragedy of Taiwan? Even Terry Gou has a problem  

with table manners, not to mention he is so  wealthy.” “​​Although everyone is insecure  

about their inferiority so they don't listen to  me, in the end, this is the so-called "poor people  

do more mischief".” And she ends her comments with  the following sentence “So many Ethnically Chinese  

people I have seen in New York and San Francisco  have brought these bad table manners abroad!” End  

quote. I can understand why her comments rubbed  so many people the wrong way. Because, first,  

even though she might have good intentions, her  wording was, to be honest, blatantly classist,  

probably a bit ageist too. The final sentence  of her statement, which revealed her anxiety  

about how ethnic Chinese people might be  perceived in the United States, is also  

quite intriguing. There is a lot to unpack here,  so let's delve deeper into this topic with PAA."  

Hi, I am Shao Chieh Lo, welcome to what people  also ask, where I search something seemingly  

obvious and share with you some of its PAA, aka  People Also Ask, which is a feature telling you  

what other people are searching on Google that  relates to your query. Today's query is “Is table  

etiquette classist?”. I will try to dive into the  nature of table etiquette and explore the idea of  

why some people think table etiquette is classist,  and whether it's inherently classist or it depends  

on the context and the way they are enforced or  imposed. So I want to start by first exploring  

this table-manners-shaming instance before  discussing the nature of table manners itself. One  

interesting thing is that when Li Wen criticizes  Xiǎo S, she also mentions that she thinks youths  

nowadays, in general, do not really care about  table manners, which, understandably ruffles  

some feathers of those who identify themselves  as youths. In one article published by ChinaTimes  

which is a conservative-leaning newspaper in  Taiwan, even titled “Are young people falling into  

the "Xiǎo S phenomenon?" which suggests that young  people nowadays are lacking proper table manners.  

This made me wonder whether the decline in table  manners or at least the perceived decline in table  

manners is a recent phenomenon limited to younger  generations. To investigate this, I decided to  

examine historical records for similar narratives  or indications of the same issue in earlier times.  

So When do people start to think their youth lack  table manners? It turns out that the criticism of  

younger generations for having poor table manners  is not at all a recent thing. One New York Times  

archived article I found titled “TABLE MANNERS:  A CASUALTY OF CHANGING TIMES” which was published  

in 1985 indicates that people at least have  been saying that 40 years ago. In this article,  

the author went on a tirade about their  youth lacking table manners and attribute  

their loss of manners to the following reasons:  1. The demise of the traditional evening meal,  

when families gathered to eat and parents were  quick to correct errant manners. 2. The growth  

of fast food and ready-to-eat meals has also  contributed to the decline in table manners. 3.  

individual freedom has come to be valued over  decorum, and as families have spent less time  

together at the dinner table, parents have failed  to pass on society's rules of the table. Even it's  

the earliest article that I found about people  blaming their youths for lacking table manners,  

It is difficult to pinpoint an exact time in  history when people began to think that younger  

generations lacked table manners, as this is a  sentiment that has likely existed for centuries.  

Different generations have always had their own  customs, and it is common for older generations  

to feel that younger ones do not adhere to the  same standards of etiquette that they were raised  

with. The concept of table manners has evolved  over time, with specific customs and etiquette  

rules changing depending on the culture and  historical context. As these changes occur, it  

is natural for some individuals to perceive that  the younger generation lacks proper table manners.  

The perception that younger generations lack table  manners is not a new phenomenon, and it has likely  

existed in various forms throughout history. This  perception is influenced by evolving social norms,  

cultural factors, and the natural generational  gap that arises as society continues to change.  

I want to mention one interesting detail about  this article is that the author mentioned Judith  

Martin, the author of the popular syndicated  etiquette column back then called "Miss Manners,"  

attributed the decline of table manners to  the nation's founders and their emphasis on  

equality and disdain for insincere politeness.  Martin suggested that this trend may have  

originated with Thomas Jefferson himself. The  reason Jefferson attempted to ease the rules  

of diplomatic ranking during his presidency  was that he believed they imposed artificial  

distinctions among men who were created equal.  This perspective, in terms, indirectly affected  

American people's view of table manners as a form  of classism because they can create unnecessary  

distinctions between people and may not always  reflect a person's true character or values.  

That lead to the topic we mainly want to discuss  today: Is table manner classist? An article titled  

“Why Table Manners Still Matter” published by  Times, insinuates that table manners are not  

inherently classist because their purpose is  to show respect and consideration for others,  

regardless of social class. By knowing and  adhering to appropriate table manners, you  

demonstrate your understanding of cultural norms  and your ability to adapt to different situations.  

This can be particularly helpful in business  dealings, as showing respect for someone's  

culture is an invaluable skill. Furthermore, good  table manners can create a positive impression on  

others, potentially leading to personal or  professional advancement. In this context,  

table manners are seen as a tool for effective  communication and relationship-building,  

rather than a way to enforce class distinctions.  However, while we all know showing respect and  

consideration for others during a meal is  important, some would argue it does not  

automatically make table etiquette classism-free.  And judging someone's characteristics based on  

table manners or etiquette in general, and the  idea of good etiquette could lead to personal  

or professional advancement might actually be  classist by itself. An article titled “Making  

Etiquette for everyone again – despite, or Because  of, its Weaponization” was published by Salon.com  

which is a news and opinion website that covers a  wide range of topics related to politics, culture,  

entertainment, and technology. The article began  with the sentence quote “Proper etiquette can  

be a blessing and a boon to our interactions  . . . provided it isn't used as a weapon.”  

In this article, the author Melanie McFarland,  an American television critic and journalist,  

recounts an early life experience where  she participated in a major metropolitan  

newspaper's summer program. During the program,  a brief interaction with one of the newsroom's  

managers led to an invitation for lunch at  a nice restaurant. The manager said little  

during the meal, leaving Melanie to carry on  the conversation, which was impolite but not as  

problematic as the manager's real intention. The  manager was closely observing Melanie's etiquette,  

such as how she ate her soup, which forks she used  for salad, and how she held her utensils. These  

were all things that Melanie's mother had taught  her from a young age. At the end of the meal,  

the manager praised Melanie's manners while  making derogatory remarks about the other kids  

in the program, most of whom were also ethnic  minorities like Melanie herself. A day later,  

Melanie was assigned to the newspaper's  research department as an assistant,  

which led to interactions with famous writers and  connections with their editors. Melanie emphasizes  

that this story is not a triumphant story, as her  memory of the meal is entwined with humiliation  

and shame. When she asked her mother if it was  wrong to accept the opportunity, she advised her  

to embrace her good fortune and never forget the  circumstances that led to it. According to her,  