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  • Last week, a famous celebrity Xiǎo S postedphoto of her two daughters eating at home with  

  • her, which then was criticized by Li Wen, the  daughter of writer Li Ao, for improper table  

  • etiquette. Li Wen then received backlash from the  internet for being perceived as having an overly  

  • strong opinion on the daily lives of othersIn response to the backlash, she wrote back  

  • several comments that ended up rubbing people  the wrong way. Here are some of the sentences  

  • in her comments that I roughly translated  into English: Quote: “To be a public figure,  

  • especially one with such a high reputation, you  must set a good example. With so much money,  

  • you can help children find experts, help them, and  educate them….” “It is understandable that your  

  • mother was not born into a good family, so why  don't you help your underage children with such  

  • good resources for your next generation.” “This is  a phenomenon in Taiwan, which I call the "Xiǎo S  

  • phenomenon" How many young people in Taiwan care  about their basic etiquette now? They only care  

  • about gaming, being YouTubers, uber food deliveryplastic surgery, and blindly living every day,  

  • but they don't know basic manners. Isn't this the  tragedy of Taiwan? Even Terry Gou has a problem  

  • with table manners, not to mention he is so  wealthy.” “​​Although everyone is insecure  

  • about their inferiority so they don't listen to  me, in the end, this is the so-called "poor people  

  • do more mischief".” And she ends her comments with  the following sentenceSo many Ethnically Chinese  

  • people I have seen in New York and San Francisco  have brought these bad table manners abroad!” End  

  • quote. I can understand why her comments rubbed  so many people the wrong way. Because, first,  

  • even though she might have good intentions, her  wording was, to be honest, blatantly classist,  

  • probably a bit ageist too. The final sentence  of her statement, which revealed her anxiety  

  • about how ethnic Chinese people might be  perceived in the United States, is also  

  • quite intriguing. There is a lot to unpack hereso let's delve deeper into this topic with PAA."  

  • Hi, I am Shao Chieh Lo, welcome to what people  also ask, where I search something seemingly  

  • obvious and share with you some of its PAA, aka  People Also Ask, which is a feature telling you  

  • what other people are searching on Google that  relates to your query. Today's query isIs table  

  • etiquette classist?”. I will try to dive into the  nature of table etiquette and explore the idea of  

  • why some people think table etiquette is classistand whether it's inherently classist or it depends  

  • on the context and the way they are enforced or  imposed. So I want to start by first exploring  

  • this table-manners-shaming instance before  discussing the nature of table manners itself. One  

  • interesting thing is that when Li Wen criticizes  Xiǎo S, she also mentions that she thinks youths  

  • nowadays, in general, do not really care about  table manners, which, understandably ruffles  

  • some feathers of those who identify themselves  as youths. In one article published by ChinaTimes  

  • which is a conservative-leaning newspaper in  Taiwan, even titledAre young people falling into  

  • the "Xiǎo S phenomenon?" which suggests that young  people nowadays are lacking proper table manners.  

  • This made me wonder whether the decline in table  manners or at least the perceived decline in table  

  • manners is a recent phenomenon limited to younger  generations. To investigate this, I decided to  

  • examine historical records for similar narratives  or indications of the same issue in earlier times.  

  • So When do people start to think their youth lack  table manners? It turns out that the criticism of  

  • younger generations for having poor table manners  is not at all a recent thing. One New York Times  

  • archived article I found titledTABLE MANNERS:  A CASUALTY OF CHANGING TIMESwhich was published  

  • in 1985 indicates that people at least have  been saying that 40 years ago. In this article,  

  • the author went on a tirade about their  youth lacking table manners and attribute  

  • their loss of manners to the following reasons:  1. The demise of the traditional evening meal,  

  • when families gathered to eat and parents were  quick to correct errant manners. 2. The growth  

  • of fast food and ready-to-eat meals has also  contributed to the decline in table manners. 3.  

  • individual freedom has come to be valued over  decorum, and as families have spent less time  

  • together at the dinner table, parents have failed  to pass on society's rules of the table. Even it's  

  • the earliest article that I found about people  blaming their youths for lacking table manners,  

  • It is difficult to pinpoint an exact time in  history when people began to think that younger  

  • generations lacked table manners, as this issentiment that has likely existed for centuries.  

  • Different generations have always had their own  customs, and it is common for older generations  

  • to feel that younger ones do not adhere to the  same standards of etiquette that they were raised  

  • with. The concept of table manners has evolved  over time, with specific customs and etiquette  

  • rules changing depending on the culture and  historical context. As these changes occur, it  

  • is natural for some individuals to perceive that  the younger generation lacks proper table manners.  

  • The perception that younger generations lack table  manners is not a new phenomenon, and it has likely  

  • existed in various forms throughout history. This  perception is influenced by evolving social norms,  

  • cultural factors, and the natural generational  gap that arises as society continues to change.  

  • I want to mention one interesting detail about  this article is that the author mentioned Judith  

  • Martin, the author of the popular syndicated  etiquette column back then called "Miss Manners,"  

  • attributed the decline of table manners to  the nation's founders and their emphasis on  

  • equality and disdain for insincere politenessMartin suggested that this trend may have  

  • originated with Thomas Jefferson himself. The  reason Jefferson attempted to ease the rules  

  • of diplomatic ranking during his presidency  was that he believed they imposed artificial  

  • distinctions among men who were created equalThis perspective, in terms, indirectly affected  

  • American people's view of table manners as a form  of classism because they can create unnecessary  

  • distinctions between people and may not always  reflect a person's true character or values.  

  • That lead to the topic we mainly want to discuss  today: Is table manner classist? An article titled  

  • Why Table Manners Still Matterpublished by  Times, insinuates that table manners are not  

  • inherently classist because their purpose is  to show respect and consideration for others,  

  • regardless of social class. By knowing and  adhering to appropriate table manners, you  

  • demonstrate your understanding of cultural norms  and your ability to adapt to different situations.  

  • This can be particularly helpful in business  dealings, as showing respect for someone's  

  • culture is an invaluable skill. Furthermore, good  table manners can create a positive impression on  

  • others, potentially leading to personal or  professional advancement. In this context,  

  • table manners are seen as a tool for effective  communication and relationship-building,  

  • rather than a way to enforce class distinctionsHowever, while we all know showing respect and  

  • consideration for others during a meal is  important, some would argue it does not  

  • automatically make table etiquette classism-freeAnd judging someone's characteristics based on  

  • table manners or etiquette in general, and the  idea of good etiquette could lead to personal  

  • or professional advancement might actually be  classist by itself. An article titledMaking  

  • Etiquette for everyone againdespite, or Because  of, its Weaponizationwas published by Salon.com  

  • which is a news and opinion website that coverswide range of topics related to politics, culture,  

  • entertainment, and technology. The article began  with the sentence quoteProper etiquette can  

  • be a blessing and a boon to our interactions  . . . provided it isn't used as a weapon.”  

  • In this article, the author Melanie McFarlandan American television critic and journalist,  

  • recounts an early life experience where  she participated in a major metropolitan  

  • newspaper's summer program. During the program,  a brief interaction with one of the newsroom's  

  • managers led to an invitation for lunch at  a nice restaurant. The manager said little  

  • during the meal, leaving Melanie to carry on  the conversation, which was impolite but not as  

  • problematic as the manager's real intention. The  manager was closely observing Melanie's etiquette,  

  • such as how she ate her soup, which forks she used  for salad, and how she held her utensils. These  

  • were all things that Melanie's mother had taught  her from a young age. At the end of the meal,  

  • the manager praised Melanie's manners while  making derogatory remarks about the other kids  

  • in the program, most of whom were also ethnic  minorities like Melanie herself. A day later,  

  • Melanie was assigned to the newspaper's  research department as an assistant,  

  • which led to interactions with famous writers and  connections with their editors. Melanie emphasizes  

  • that this story is not a triumphant story, as her  memory of the meal is entwined with humiliation  

  • and shame. When she asked her mother if it was  wrong to accept the opportunity, she advised her  

  • to embrace her good fortune and never forget the  circumstances that led to it. According to her,  

  • that meal played a major role in obtaining her  first major break into professional journalism.  

  • But it also provided her first lesson on how the  rules of etiquette can be wielded to be classist  

  • and racist. This idea of table etiquette could  be classist or even racist might ruffle a lot of  

  • people's feathers, some might even argue that the  very idea of table etiquette could be classist or  

  • racist itself IS classist and racist, because it  insinuates people from lower classes or ethnic  

  • minorities can not learn proper table mannersNevertheless, It is crucial to acknowledge that  

  • individuals possessing financial resources and  cultural capital undoubtedly enjoy greater access  

  • to refined table manners, as suggested by Li Wen's  remark to Xiao S: “It is understandable that your  

  • mother was not born into a good family, so why  don't you help your underage children with such  

  • good resources for your next generation.” And  another comment from Li Wen also mentioned one  

  • session of her international business etiquette  class cost 500 dollars, which obviously those  

  • without dispensable income would not be able  to afford. In addition, many of the table  

  • etiquette rules we are familiar with today were  indeed historically designed by the aristocracy  

  • to distinguish themselves from the common  folk and preserve their social standing. And  

  • Europe-centric traditions have a significant  impact on table manners, particularly in the  

  • context of fine dining. An article titled  “Manners Don't Encourage Good Behavior, Just  

  • Class Discriminationpublished by The Swaddle.com  which is a website that covers a wide range of  

  • topics related to Indian and global culture argues  that table manners are classist because they were  

  • historically designed by the aristocracy to  distinguish themselves from the common folk  

  • and preserve their social standing. The article  argues that table manners and social etiquette  

  • were originally designed to create a distinction  between the aristocracy and the common people,  

  • ensuring the preservation of power and social  standing for the privileged. With time, these  

  • rules became even more crucial for maintaining  social hierarchies as new sources of wealth  

  • emerged. For example, Erasmus, a 16th-century  thinker, helped establish various social etiquette  

  • rules that still persist today. The development  of table manners in Europe during the Renaissance  

  • period was a way for the nobility to createclear distinction between the wealthy and the  

  • poor, often leading to the creation of unnecessary  and unaffordable dining items. Like there were  

  • pudding spoons and oyster forks and fish knives  and asparagus tongs, completely unbeknownst to  

  • the common folks. By the 18th and 19th centuriesthe land was no longer the only source of wealth,  

  • weakening aristocratic power, so social etiquette  became an even more important tool for distinction  

  • and power preservation. The nouveau riche adopted  manners and style in an attempt to gain access to  

  • elite circles. Those who failed to conform were  considered unworthy of affluence and closed  

  • networks of old money. In countries colonized  by European powers, such as India, Western  

  • etiquette combined with local traditions and the  pervasive caste system to make differentiating  

  • between people and performing superiority  even easier. Failure to adhere to social  

  • etiquette rules may lead others to believe that  an individual lacks refinement, comes from a lower  

  • socio-economic background, or is not from quote  on quote “a good family”. The pervasive global  

  • anxiety to live up to the standard set primarily  by European powers may explain why Li Wen  

  • expressed her own anxiety in her comment: “So many  ethnically Chinese people I have seen in New York  

  • and San Francisco have brought these bad table  manners abroad!” which insinuates that people  

  • from Western Culture have better table etiquettewhich is obviously not the case by the way. I have  

  • been to both cities and saw how people eat thereAt mealtimes, throughout history, various cultures  

  • have used table manners as a means of reinforcing  the social status of higher classes. For example,  

  • ​​in traditional Chinese banquets, guests would  be seated according to their social status,  

  • with the most honored guests seated at the head  of the table. The host would also serve the most  

  • prestigious dishes to these guests first. And  in ancient China, proper use of chopsticks was  

  • seen as a sign of good breeding and educationThe elite was expected to handle chopsticks with  

  • grace, precision, and elegance, reflecting their  social status. So is table manner classist? Well,  

  • while it does have a somewhat classist root in the  context of history, the question of whether table  

  • manners are classist is a highly debated issue  in modern society. I have compiled some pros  

  • and cons arguments as followed: Table manners  might not be classist because: Basic courtesy:  

  • Some table manners, such as not talking with  one's mouth full or using utensils properly,  

  • can be seen as a basic courtesy rather than  classist behavior. These manners promote hygiene,