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  • History has a long and rich tradition of apocalyptic predictionsall of which were wrongyet

  • some people still think that this timeround in 2012 is the real deal.

  • Why 2012? Because of ancient Mayan calendars. Obviously.

  • Mayan calendars not only recorded the days and years, but also longer cycles of about

  • 5 Millennia. So they could easily make calendars that went

  • 1,000s of years into the future. But, of course, 1,000s of years in the future from 1,000s

  • of years ago brings us to current times when the Mayan calendars stop in 2012.

  • Modern new-agey people decided that the wise Mayans stopped making calendars because they

  • knew when the world would end. And because new agers are happythough

  • scientifically illiteratepeople their vision of 2012 was a great spiritual awakening

  • or world reboot or other hippy-consciousness-expanding nonsense that the Mayans, who spent time puling

  • strings of thorns through peoplestongue, probably didn’t have in mind.

  • To a normal person the thought that: calendar finishes therefore end of the world is an

  • odd conclusion to draw. After all, the amount of time in the Universe

  • is infinite and the amount of stone is limited. So, at some point the Mayans had to stop carving

  • calendars. But never mind.

  • What should have stayed a fringe belief turned into mass hysteria with the 2012 disaster

  • movie that swept the academy awards and the numerous emmy-nominated apocalypse documentaries

  • on

  • The History Channel. What happened to you guys?

  • Anyway. After this NASA became so inundated with questions that they had to take time

  • away from their busy robot building, frontier pushing, knowledge expanding, civilization

  • inspiring schedule, to write a webpage explaining that no, a human-sacrificing, stone-age society

  • with neither wheels to pull carts nor glass to make telescopes, didn’t know more about

  • science at the dawn of than real scientists do today.

  • But the parade of crazy marched on anyway making wilder and wilder predictions for Earth

  • including Geomagnetic Reversal (a process that unfolds

  • on a geologic timescale, not a single day) A collision with mysterious Planet X (That

  • no astronomers have found) A local star going supernova (Despite

  • there being no such candidates) An Alien Invasion (Which is ludicrous

  • on the face of itor is it?) And a galactic synchronization beam, whatever

  • the hell that is. A sane person, at this point, would wonder

  • how the Mayans were able to predict astro-physical anomalies thousands of years in advance and

  • millions of miles away yet didn’t foresee the Spanish coming across the Atlantic.

  • And that’s because the Mayans never predicted apocalypse. The only people to claim the Mayans

  • knew about the end of the world were distinctly not Mayans.

History has a long and rich tradition of apocalyptic predictionsall of which were wrongyet

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