It's time.

We need to we need to talk, we need to talk about this.

This is progressing in a very positive way And this person is a part of my life.

So it needs to be set.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm, mm hmm.

Hi guys.

Um I think at this point, um it's a good idea to really mention it because this whole series is all about my life and what I'm going through and all the negatives and the positives.

I'm not perfect.

There's a lot of things that I do wrong here and there's a lot of things that I need to learn to do and grow and just become more of a better version of myself.

I just want to I want to mention this because I think that it's going to be an impactful thing in my life.

We've been talking enough to the point where we've progressed into something more serious and I hesitated a lot and thought a lot about this because of what had happened to me before.

It allowed me to process how things, how bad things really were with the last person that I was with in a long distance relationship.

So by the title, you can tell that this is true.

This has been completely unexpected.

And not something that I saw myself doing again or trying allowing this relationship to develop into what it is Now, I've realized how my last relationship, it wasn't about the distance, it was about the person if you're in a long distance relationship, anybody who's watching right now.

There's a lot of factors that go into it and a lot of, a lot more effort than there is in a relationship in person.

And I think it's one of the hardest things to do, it's such a test of time and if the other person is not listening to you or not on the same page or constantly doing things that make you feel bad and they continue to hurt you, then it's obviously something that shouldn't be going on.

It's, it's someone that should be in your life for only a season and that's it and that was kind of what that last relationship was.

And it really heightened my anxiety and it really heightened those bad feelings and it turned me into somebody that I wasn't that I didn't like, we didn't make it a year, it was about like six months and it seems very short, but it happened and it was a very impactful thing that happened to me.

This new relationship has changed my perspective on long distance and how it should work and I'm not saying, you know, I can't tell my future, but I have very, a lot of confidence in this one compared to what had happened to me before and I'm very proud of myself for leaving that relationship and getting the courage to break up with that person.

It had to happen and I've, I've been in really bad situations in my life, I was in an abusive relationship years ago when I was in Japan for about a year and I eventually was strong enough to leave it and see that this was not benefiting me in any way.

It was hurt, it was harming me in many different ways and I'm very lucky to have that courage two leave relationships such as that I know in the beginning it's hard, but you need to start to realize what are red flags and what aren't red flags and start to get more in tuned with your emotions and how you feel or how somebody makes you feel.

Because if you don't, you could end up marrying somebody that was supposed to be in your life for a season and not a lifetime.

So last year I had this, I never really told this story.

Um, and I feel like we kind of need to talk about it before I move on with this new story.

I think this is a good thing to really introduce into my videos while I go through this journey and how it makes me feel and how I developed as a person.

Last year, I had met someone who I thought would be my last, we weren't on the same page.

He didn't care as much about me as I thought because if someone cares, then they will do everything in their power to be with you and they will do everything in their power to talk to you and they'll do everything in their power to make time for you.

It really broke me at the end of it, We weren't communicating and that's the problem.

And he told me that we were communicating.

But we were not because out of the six months that we dated, we video chatted once.

Yeah.

We video chatted one time in a long distance relationship and I wanted to talk to him more and it was just excuse after excuse and why he can't call and why he can't video chat and why this and why that why is it so hard to get online and see the girl that you're dating one time out of six months of dating is ridiculous.

If you're in a long business relationship, you should schedule time for each other.

I'm the type of person that if I'm in a relationship, I'm very loyal, I give everything to that person.

I'm very in touch with my emotions.

I'm a hopeless romantic.

I believe in falling in love.

Like really falling in love when it came to calling on the phone.

I think we would call and talk to each other every three weeks.

Maybe not even that.

And when I tried, when I kept, I kept asking him, I was like, can we call, Can we talk It got to the point where I think he got a little annoyed because I wanted to call all the time.

But we weren't calling all the time.

We weren't talking.

We weren't communicating.

So I wanted that.

So I would ask almost every day at one point I was like, hey, can I talk to you for like five minutes?

Can I talk to you for 10 minutes?

He couldn't, he just couldn't, he couldn't make the time for me.

And then there was a point in the relationship where he was like, it blows my mind that you want to call me all the time and I thought to myself like at first like that kind of woke me up, what like it blows your mind that your girlfriend wants to call you.

Like we're trying to make a long distance thing work, why would I not want to call you?

I kind of like sat in my chair, like almost ready to cry.

Uh that statement really messed me up a bit.

Like it made me mad.

Am I like crazy?

Like, I don't know, I want to hear your opinions because what we're like, I'm still lost for words from that.

And then after that, that's when I started to feel like, okay, this is very bad, this is very wrong.

So I talked to my friends about it and they're like kelly, you need to break up with this person because he's not treating you right and I didn't listen for a long time.

So like the last three months of our relationship was honestly hell I really tried, like I, I tried to send him gifts.

I I did as much as I could and I never got anything much in return.

It really hurt my feelings amongst all the things that I'm doing.

I really tried to make time for that person.

He got in an accident during our time together and I remember it was such a hard time for him and I was trying to be there for him, but he wouldn't even let me come visit him, he wouldn't let me call him, he wouldn't let me do anything.

And maybe it was because of the shock and everything that he went through, but it wasn't healthy for our relationship the way he was acting with me because it made me suffer as well.

So we were both suffering from all this stuff that was going on in our lives.

He was doing other things that you shouldn't do when you're in a relationship.

And it was unfair because he made me wait and he wasn't telling me what was going on.

There was no times were like, we wouldn't even send a text.

There are days where we wouldn't send a single text when you're in a long distance relationship, you have to share everything you have to share the stupid stuff you have to share.

That's what keeps the relationship and the spark going and we weren't even doing that.

I would always send them pictures.

I would always tell him what I'm doing.

I was always excited about going out to film something.

I would send him pictures of myself, but he was doing none of that for me and it made me feel so emotionally exhausted because you need to be doing that with each other to make each other feel secure and I know it sounds excessive, but in this type of relationship you have to do those things for each other.

Another rule of dating long distances to have an end date, you have to set a date when you're going to be together finally and end this long distance, which is a very big difference in this one compared to the last one because there is an end date and we're always sharing things and we're always talking, it's just such a 1 80 from what I had before and my anxiety is like non existent in this when I met this current guy, I was so connected with him and I was so I was falling like I was falling in love with this person and he had such passion and he's so creative and he loves doing similar things that I do and he has a lot of similar interests and we think a lot the same, but we have our differences which is good, it's like a good balance.

I was so blown away by this person and how we communicated when we weren't together officially, that I was constantly thinking about him and that's a sign when you're when you meet somebody and you can't stop thinking about them.

That's a huge deal out of all of my past lessons and all of my past relationships.

I have never felt this way about anybody in my whole entire life.

It's very different and I'm sure some of you are going to be in the comments like, you don't know that and it's true.

It's in reality you don't know that.

But when you have this strong of a feeling and you have this much confidence in something, it's definitely worth exploring.

I have to say I've become a lot wiser throughout these experiences.

I've been in long distance relationships, I've been in abusive relationships.

I've been in good relationships.

I've been in bad ones.

I've been in, uh so many different relationships I was scared at first because I was like, it's going to be the same thing.

I'm not going to feel good about it.

He's going to make me feel like I'm not enough and I'm going to get anxious again.

I'm going to freak out again this time around.

It's the communication is like fire and that's how it needs to be in long distance.

He's giving me so much of his time and it just was so, my heart felt alive again and I like I can't even, there's no words.

There's just no words for this person, They're always video chatting.

We're always scheduling times to talk and have a date.

Like we talked about next week, let's talk at this time.

The first time it really started happening where he was really making time for me was when I was shopping for groceries.

He just called me out of nowhere and I was like, my heart was just like, oh my God, it's him.

And so I picked up the phone and we started talking and he was like, hey, I just wanted to check in and I was just like, why was this not a thing in my last relationship?

Like what was I thinking?

Like, why didn't I run?

It's so perfect.

And I know that seems so extreme for just calling me, but like I love that.

I love when you can show each other off and I love when you can call each other anytime and nobody gets upset about it.

You should never be upset with somebody for calling.

That happened a lot before.

And I was very, that's another reason why I was hesitating to get into a long distance relationship.

But this guy is just, I can call him anytime and he'd answer and that's so, so important.

Anyway, I was, I told him I need to check out, can I call you back?

And I was nervous because I remember flashback to my last long distance, I remember I would hang up and then I tried to call him again and he wouldn't answer and then he'd make an excuse and he didn't want to talk and I was like, is he going to do that to me?

I didn't want to hang up.

I was scared.

So I hung up.

I checked out.

I texted him and I said, hey, I'm done, I'm walking home and like in seconds, like he called me back.

Like I didn't even call him back and I he's probably watching this right now.

But we talked until I got home and I like actually cried.

Like I was so happy.

Like it was happy tears.

I'm already like tearing up right now because I've never had that.

He does a lot of like photography for weddings and couples and instagrammers.

But he also is like a web developer in L.

A.

So he does a lot of cool technical stuff and I love that about him because we can talk about that stuff.

And he also used to be into producing music so we can talk about music and he can play the guitar and like it just were very creative people so are passionate juices are flowing.

Now.

The one thing that's interesting about this relationship is he is japanese and I remember in my past videos, I was like, I don't really date Japanese guys.

I've had a lot of bad experiences, especially when it came to culture.

Like I want somebody to really understand me and my culture and what I do, but he's Japanese, he's full Japanese.

He lives in L.

A.

And he lived there for about eight years and I guess things changed because I was so smitten with him.

How we met is he's kind of slid into my DMS on instagram and he told me he wanted to shoot me one day, like take pictures.

Sounds weird.

And I was like, yeah because I was really connecting with other photographers here, turns out we have a mutual friend which is awesome because she was a close friend of mine, one of my first friends in college, she knows him and she said he's a great guy and like I was talking to her about him and it's nice that I have somebody that knows him.

So it was weird.

It's such a small world to find that out.

But we talk enough to the point where we know each other and I feel like in this day and age 2,018 people meet online all the time.

And it's nice to know that I didn't meet this person on a dating app.

This is completely different for me, but I am so excited about it and I just wanted to share that with you.

And the other thing that's interesting that really makes our conversations interesting is the fact that I live in his country and he lives in mind, we're always talking about the differences and the things we get excited about that are very normal to us now.

He's moving next year around november.

So we will be together at some point.

We're always throwing ideas at each other and I think that's so awesome when you can do that with somebody.

And so far our relationship has been so unreal.

To the point where like I'd wake up and I'd be like, is he, does he still exist?

Was this a dream video will probably be up while I'm flying home for the holidays.

Which will be interesting to talk about.