Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • And so everyone's like this is a bad idea the moment you self-publish, you know

  • you're just locking the doors and no one is gonna take you seriously and

  • I thought that

  • That's fine because no one is taking me seriously anyway

  • So I wanted to start with a crazy statistic that I read which was a study that was done in 2015, which said that

  • 6.7 percent of Americans have barely read one poem in the last year and it just kind of occurred to me that

  • someone reading one of your poems on the Instagram could mark the advent of their first interaction with a home which is

  • kind of amazing and

  • incredible so congratulations on everything that you've done and

  • you are just about to embark on this huge American tour and

  • How does that?

  • It feels amazing and I'm really grateful and I feel really blessed I

  • Think it's like always a difficult

  • It's difficult to answer that question because for me in my life

  • poetry's always been such a consistent part of it and

  • so

  • Now everybody's like oh my god poetry is like everywhere

  • It says crazy things and I haven't been able to really see that shift because it's always been around me

  • but I think it's so important and I think it's important because

  • poetry allows you to process emotion and it allows you to express it and it it's crazy that

  • such a low percentage of people actually use it as a tool to heal and as a tool to share and

  • So I think it's great that we're at a time now where so many more people are reading and using it. Yeah, I completely agree

  • That was really how I felt reading your book that it was just incredibly healing and also I loved it as a shorthand for

  • Ideas that I found really difficult to express myself, I could refer someone to this poem

  • I could just send them a screenshot of the you thing and

  • I felt so lucky to have that as a tool in my arsenal that I could kind of draw on and

  • Be like this is what it feels like, you know here

  • So that's incredible. You're giving people more words more language credit. Thank you

  • you're a poet in you know the day and age of

  • You post something on your Instagram account and you get instant feedback

  • so you you know most most writers will put a book out into the world and maybe they'll read a review or maybe they'll

  • Meet someone that's read their work has an opinion but you have to come and face to face with people's

  • Responses and feelings to your work on a daily basis in droves and I'm just I'm curious does that affect your writing does that affect?

  • Yeah, you know it does it does two things. The feedback is always reassuring in that

  • Oh, there's people here that want to read this. I'll keep writing it

  • But I'm also very self aware of the fact that I don't want

  • What other people think to change how I write and what I write about and I remember very early on this was probably

  • milk, and honey was first self-published and at the end of 2014 and when it came out all of my friends were like

  • Okay, so we were like taking a look at your Instagram and we realized that the poems about love and heartbreak get the most amount

  • Of love and you know your other pieces about like sexual abuse and all that, okay

  • Maybe you want to like chill on those because there's not that much interaction and I remember for a month

  • I was like, you know, you're right. I should be doing everything that I can to get this book into as many hands as possible

  • But it didn't feel right and what I felt was this magic?

  • there was some sort of magic going away and I realized it was because

  • Writing for me and I explained it as like a romantic relationship with like a partner. It's

  • Is a romantic relationship

  • it's a spiritual connection that I have and it's when I feel closest to myself and

  • You wouldn't let a third party enter your romantic relationship and their opinions shouldn't affect how you feel about the person that you love so

  • Why would I let hundreds and thousands of people?

  • and their opinions affect how I write and what I write about and so I'm very aware of

  • really letting that feedback change

  • So I'm very like okay, I don't read refuse but and I hardly read comments

  • And that's usually how I do it. I think it's about honesty and just sharing that

  • Yeah, that's amazing. That's such a good analogy

  • and I mean, yeah, I relate I think the discipline the self discipline it takes

  • To not allow a third party opinion into your psyche and your creative space is is key

  • It's hard when it's about you. It must be really it's so personal

  • so everybody around me is like it's okay, like, you know, this person isn't criticizing you they're just criticizing the work and I'm like

  • But the poetry is literally me. Yeah

  • Not about me, you know

  • This is poems about my life poems about my experiences and the people that I love so it's very difficult

  • And even though I am so self aware and I do try to like, you know, not let it affect him affect me

  • I'm sure that at a level it has affected, you know

  • The way that I write and that has for sure some part of it has gone into like how I've written the second book

  • Yeah, yeah. Well, that's what's so beautiful

  • And one of the other things I wanted to talk to you about was how incredibly there's a there's a lack of self-consciousness there

  • that's so beautiful is like a such an innocence and unlike a purity to the way that you did that and

  • how old we when you post it the

  • now really famous picture of you

  • With menstrual blood a sheet think I was 22 or 23

  • that's amazing to me because I remember I mean I I had I had more confidence at that age, but still yeah, but I still

  • I like I wonder I

  • Was just it was so fearless. It was so brave. I'm I had no idea

  • What like I agree with you. I was so much more confident in so much more raw

  • And I just didn't care about anyone in anything. I was like, I'm gonna do what I want how I want to do it and

  • It's good

  • It allowed me to get into some trouble with that photograph

  • and you know

  • I was very naive about the internet because I'd written about periods before there's a poem about them in milk and honey

  • And so I thought that this photograph wouldn't be a big deal. It was a part of a school project

  • And you know the class loved it and it was going well

  • And so I thought it's fine. Like my readers know that this is how I feel about this topic

  • Yeah initially though

  • My readers were like they embrace it the initial response was like, oh my god like we love this

  • This is amazing

  • But when it got out of those circles and when it went into other circles

  • That's when the trouble sort of came and I feel like the experience brought this anxiety

  • of

  • People having so much access I remember

  • thousands and thousands and thousands of comments coming in by the hour and

  • Figuring out a young age how to manage that anything that really took that naive video way and now I'm a lot more

  • Careful, and there's I wouldn't call it self censorship

  • but I think that

  • the more that you grow and the more

  • that you realize that this is how many people have access to this the more that you think am I ready to share this or

  • Not yeah. Yeah. Yeah

  • your caption your response to that the patriarchy is leaking was just it was so brilliant and

  • I I don't think women it occurs to women how much they're being censored

  • Yeah, how much being a woman isn't a sense it exactly

  • I had the worst dinner with a friend the night before last and the words came out of her mouth

  • You don't realize how much the world hates women

  • Until you are breastfeeding and I'm like that is just no one should ever say that those are words

  • That should never come out of a woman's mouth. Um, it made me so sad but I until you'll

  • until it's out there or you you engage in some way and as you say you

  • Stumble on I posted this picture and actually yeah, I realized it was a huge deal. It usually wasn't. Okay exactly

  • Even the patriarchy is leaking. Like I feel like I didn't even write those words because it was in the heat of the moment

  • When those photos were taken down

  • Me realizing like I realized in that moment how much censorship there is of women because I had so many

  • Groups of women popping up around me that were like no. No. No, you don't understand. How wrong this is because

  • You have all of these other accounts that are able to pose like pornography and all these

  • Images and all this media that actually objectify is us and so you need to really do something about it

  • And I remember in the heat and the passion of that moment. I was like the patriarchy is leaking

  • You self-published I did your work was originally rejected which is crazy as so many great writers work is

  • At the very beginning tell me what what does that mean for a writer to be?

  • Self-published. What does that? I think traditionally it's not a very good thing

  • It's kind of saying that hey and that's what my professors were like

  • The first thing I did was go to my professors and say hey, you know

  • I write poetry and I think I want to publish a book because my readers are asking for it

  • So what should I do and I didn't know anyone I was a student I was in so much debt

  • And so I wasn't gonna spend an exorbitant amount of money getting it

  • Sent anywhere and my professor said, you know, try magazines try literary journals and anthologies

  • And everybody faces a lot of rejection before they get there. So it's fine. Let's keep going

  • And so I took her advice

  • I took this book and I started to strip it and I

  • grouped together pieces of like five poems three poems seven poems and I started to send them out and

  • It just wasn't working and I kind of understood why

  • because these anthologies and these journals were about

  • The Canada and the literary landscape were like Canada's where I'm from and so it was a very specific

  • Sort of like themed pieces and house poems about like body hair and sexual abuse really gonna fit into all of that and I self-published

  • The day that I realized that my poetry is for me milk and honey is one large poem

  • It's one continuous poem from the front to the back and I was cheating, you know, like it's like a body of work

  • But I what I was doing was like taking eyelashes and fingertips and limbs and just throwing them and trying to make it work

  • when really I had to take the responsibility of putting the whole thing together and then being like here it is and

  • So everyone was like, this is a bad idea the moment you self-publish, you know

  • you're just locking the doors and no one is gonna take you seriously and

  • I thought that

  • That's fine because no one is taking me seriously. Anyway, I don't even know these people that aren't even gonna like me

  • So who cares and so then I did that and although at the moment

  • Everybody told me it was the worst decision

  • I could have made it's turned out to be the best and I think it's timing is one thing

  • it's I did it at a time when the internet was really changing the face of publishing and so it was

  • Just the perfect circumstance circumstances coming together. Yeah

  • That's amazing. So it's such a great story. It's so inspiring. I know you have 2.8 million followers like something crazy

  • Let's wake up in the morning. Go. Wow

  • Yeah, I don't believe it's real. Yeah, I'm hundred percent. I'm like there is somebody out there buying these followers

  • I'm asleep, you know. Yeah, and it's hard to grasp thee. It's just pixels on the screen

  • mmm, so it comes to life only when

  • It's real life and you're like two people are sitting together. We're hugging and we're actually having a conversation

  • That's what I'm like it takes my breath away. Yeah, yeah

  • How this work has been received

  • in India and here in your home country versus how it's been received because you know

  • What is mad to me is that your work is considered radical for Western culture?

  • So what blows me away is crazy that it's radical

  • Yeah, I don't feel like it's even remotely yeah, everything awake. I'm like, I need to get some edge like yes, let's do this

  • But you know, but I mean it's crazy but it it is why I guess you've already answered the question in a way

  • Did you realize what you were doing was going to be so

  • Disruptive radical transgressive did you?

  • Talk to your parents before you started writing poems like these. I'm putting them out. Did you I mean with a

  • Conversation none Wow, it was well

  • the only really conversations I ever had so I started performing like doing spoken word and going to like

  • poetry slams and open mikes about nine years ago and

  • my parents had no understanding of what that meant and

  • They were very look I have immigrant parents and my mum

  • States at home with the kids. I have three younger siblings and my dad is a truck driver

  • So he's like listen girl. You need to study 28 hours in the day eight days a week

  • I don't know you're gonna make it happen and you're gonna become a doctor or lawyer or something because you will not

  • like work your body to the bone like I had to and

  • So when I would ask them. Hey, you like drop me off to this thing. I'm gonna be performing in my dad's mind

  • He's like, what does that even mean?

  • I know you're not going there and so because I got such a negative response from them early on I didn't tell them

  • That I was sharing my work online

  • Or I didn't even tell them I was gonna self publish and I and I used to have nightmares

  • when I first started to share my work online that

  • There was pieces that are about like sexuality and exploring that and that's not something that we talk about at home

  • So I would have nightmares at somebody like some ex-boyfriend. He's gonna print this stuff out and

  • just hand it over to them and

  • Luckily that never happened

  • but I remember that when the book came out I went home and

  • I was like I have to tell them and so I kind of dropped it off

  • my dad was having breakfast and I was like, here it is and

  • Since that day

  • Everything shifted it was like in that second

  • It was a complete 180 anything he went from being like no, you're not doing this weird poetry mic thing

  • It's a waste of time to being like oh, this is a book. I understand this and how can we help you? Push it forward

  • Yeah, my mom still thinks that the sexual pieces are a little bit too much

  • And she'll be like to my sister. You know, I'm really happy that I can't really understand everything

  • that's

  • A little bit but they support me and I feel very lucky because I know that a lot of other parents

  • Coming from the community that I come from wouldn't push their daughter to do what I do. So I feel very blessed to have them

  • Amazing and what do you think?

  • What do you think gave you the strength the resilience the fearlessness what kind of inspired that in you?

  • I think my dad which is so ironic because he's a guy that was a stop stop stop

  • but I mean

  • he was a he's a refugee and so I hear about the things that he went through back home in India and

  • what he had to do to save his life and I remember being I

  • Came over as an immigrant when I was three and a half

  • But I remember being five years old seven years old and being at

  • Protests like all over downtown Toronto and I had no idea what I was saying, but my dad was like listen

  • This is what's going on

  • there's like things called genocides and there's things called this and we're just gonna go up there and we're gonna like and I was like,

  • What are we doing and just like this little old me, you know?

  • And I think that sort of spirit really really

  • Empowered me. And then when I grew up and I was a part of like local activist groups and youth groups

  • He was like no. No, no, like don't don't do this. He's like this is what got me into trouble

  • why are you doing this and I used to laugh because I'm like I

  • Heard of it by the way. Yeah exactly

  • But I think if you describe it as like this fearlessness you're lessness

  • I don't even see it like that because it's just

  • My norm, like seeing your dad and even my mom like deal with things that you have to deal with

  • It's just a norm in my house. And so I owe it to them. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. I mean I

  • Guess that's what's so

  • Yeah, his existence his existence made in his life political likewise

  • yeah, that's that's not a

  • That's just the day-to-day exactly. Yeah, I've really appreciated the poems. Where you

  • deconstructed your own

  • misogyny, especially the one about

  • you know, I apologize to any of the women that I

  • said look pretty before I called them intelligent or brave and

  • It really resonated because I've had to do so much. I'm picking my own of my own stuff and

  • you've also said that social media is kind of a can be a really difficult place to

  • maintain a healthy sense of self and self esteem and I'm curious how you

  • navigate those those choppy waters and and keep sort of finding this well of self love and

  • Yeah, love love for yourself

  • Yeah

  • as a woman as you are in a world that doesn't support that that actually that actively

  • Yeah does not support that I think it cycles. I

  • Grew up. I

  • Don't know for some reason like I always felt too much and I thought too much and like very low self-esteem

  • no, I'm existent, you know and like I was

  • Like there was a point where my self-esteem was so bad that I would have to shower with the lights off

  • Or even brush my teeth with like teeth with the lights off because if I like had to see my face in the morning

  • I would disgust myself and

  • To go from that to then being somebody who's working on milk and honey, and my confidence during that time was amazing

  • I was like, I'm great. All right, cool

  • And then I thought that would just stay around forever

  • and I'd always be confident and just feel beautiful and not be down on myself all the time and

  • Then suddenly I don't know how or why but then it dropped all over again. And I was like, what why?

  • and I was like

  • how can I be sharing this message but yet waking up every day and criticizing myself and

  • so like I realized that self-love is like a

  • Consistent thing that you have to work towards and it's always going to happen in cycles. And so

  • it's just like everyday work, you know and

  • You will never have it all figured out and you just have to be kind to yourself and someone said to me once

  • Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend and you would never say certain things to your best friend

  • So, why would you say those things to yourself? Yeah. Yeah, that's beautiful

  • Cycles is a great way of

  • Yeah, putting it because it yeah, it's so funny

  • I've had exactly the same experience where I've been feeling great and then one thing would get said and you're like oh

  • I'm I'm I'm still there. I'm like here again, you know, it's it's amazing. So yeah

  • That's beautifully put yeah your your poem about you know

  • How we treat ourselves is how we teach others to love us was also really, you know

  • It was beautiful too I love the purity and the simplicity of your illustrations and your line drawings

  • Where did they did they come second did they when did they arrive they kind of arrived first way before the poetry. That's amazing

  • Yeah, I didn't realize that. I was I've been drawing since age of five and

  • Painting I remember being five years old. We lived in the city called Hamilton in southern Ontario and

  • There was no other kids around me except my baby sister who was still an infant and did not speak

  • and so we had a

  • like a senior couple live upstairs and they were also Punjabi and Sikh and so they would come down and babysit me and

  • I remember that they would bring down like

  • markers and pens and then they would take the jewels off of my mom's like Punjabi suits and we would make

  • Elephants and shapes and that's when my love affair with art got started

  • And so I consistently drawing and painting and that's what I wanted to do

  • Until I found writing and writing just took my breath away

  • it was like louder and it was sexier and it just

  • There was something about it and was something about the way that my the mic picked up my voice

  • that was so electrifying and so I put my art away and

  • I started to

  • Publish online and it wasn't until I realized that I want to do something a little bit different

  • I want to push this poetry a little bit better. I opened up my old high school sketchbooks and I realized that oh

  • I've been doing this forever

  • And I these sketchbooks were filled with line

  • Illustrations with like red marker and thank God I let the red marker thing go because that wouldn't have been pretty

  • And it was all like illustrations of women and loss and trauma and in the top left corner

  • I would always write a sentence or two or even a couple of words. And so I thought okay. Why not?

  • You know, I'm I wasn't gonna start becoming talented at something else

  • Yeah, so I was like re I'm just gonna bring this other thing back

  • And so I started to do the digital

  • illustrations and 50% of me was like this is a good idea and the other fifty was like

  • This is kind of silly. But that was one of the moments where the feedback from the readers really helped me. Keep going

  • Yeah, cuz they were like, oh cool

  • We love this keep making more and I remember the first night that I made them. It was December of 2013

  • I think I made like 10 to 20 illustrations that night and it's just

  • Been like there ever since yeah amazing amazing

  • Your work is also performance art as well

  • you have cut your kind of your own canvas in a funny way and you know, even the way that you speak and gesture and

  • the way

  • that you dress and I know it's been really important for friends of mine that you

  • You have one traditional clothing on your Instagram this representation. And are you starting to think very carefully?

  • And is it strange to think about how to curate yourself? It is strange, you know? Yeah. Yeah

  • My love affair. I've always had a love affair with fashion. Yeah, and I think it comes from the fact that

  • Growing up. I had no access to

  • the clothes I wanted to wear and my parents like they dressed me for years and the clothes we brought from India and

  • It was I have photos on photos with boy clothes on and some of the boys clothes even said boy on it

  • You know, it was like come on, you know, they didn't even wear a single dress growing up

  • and so I remember

  • There was this one vivid memory

  • Where one of my aunts she was she worked at like a Sears outlet and she felt really bad that I was always dressed up

  • like a dude and so she bought me these red corduroy pants and

  • They were like on sale there were probably like seven bucks

  • I remember she came over and she was like

  • Oh, I brought these for Ruby like let her try them on and my parents were like no no

  • No, like we don't want to you know

  • And then they will she was like no no no

  • like she like shoved me into the bathroom and I

  • remember putting them on and there were bell-bottoms and they had like flowers embroidered at the bottom and I

  • cried and it was the first time that I felt like a girl and that's when I was like, whoa, I love

  • dressing and

  • So it's been important for me since and especially wearing like for my UK tour that just passed in I think it was April

  • I've only worn Indian designers

  • that was so important because I remember I used to be so embarrassed going from the Gurdwara which is the Sikh temple and

  • Trying to go to the grocery store. My mom would be like, oh we're already out

  • Let's just go do groceries and I was like, are you kidding me woman like are you trying to ruin my life?

  • You know, I already look like an alien and now I'm gonna dress like one too

  • and so to go from that to being like oh

  • I'm actually gonna go out of my way to wear Indian clothes in front of 3,000 people. It's just such a flip. Yeah

  • It's so cool

  • And I yeah, I really picked up on like the specificity and that there was like a very careful choice

  • It's so beautiful. And yeah, really? I know really empowering to see the elements

  • So yeah after doing that, you know, yeah conscientious actually. I think it's important like there are growing up

  • I didn't have many people who look like me doing what I do

  • Yeah

  • and I have that platform and so it is political and it's funny because you do like

  • You doing that in the position you are it's like gives it gives permission

  • Yeah, strange way makes it okay

  • And and in the same way with you talking about the topics you're talking about you gave me more permission

  • I'll talk more about if you gave me more permission to

  • Like feminism and all of these things. I remember like when you said that word

  • The weight of the world kind of left my body and it's like, I don't know if you think it's a big deal

  • but it's a big deal for us, you know, and I

  • Remember when I first heard that word I didn't think it was a bad word because anything with the word

  • Feminine and anything about woman is so beautiful and I'm like I want to represent that and I want to know what this is about

  • And I remember Brayton English class

  • the teacher was like how many of you were feminists and I said

  • Me and I looked around and nobody else had their hand up and I was like, oh, never mind

  • And I was like, I never want to go there again, and it's so important. It's so important. Yeah

  • yeah, it's so beautiful - he even say because I've spent a lot of time especially because

  • trying to have men understand that male feminists are a thing and

  • Almost apologetically go. Well, I know there's the word feminine in it

  • but it still includes you and the DA and it's it's beautiful just to hear you say like

  • Even anything with that word and it you know you want to embrace

  • even in even

  • The mention of it or trying to make it inclusive, you know

  • I I I find myself apologizing to him and it's like what am I doing?

  • No, look I have friends who are like. Oh this guy that I know he really likes your work. He doesn't like feminists

  • But he likes you and I'm like not a compliment that I want. But thank you. Yeah and also

  • If he likes the work then there's yes exactly. Don't even have to go. Yeah

  • Yeah, but um, I'm curious what artists inspire you and that you admire and why and yeah

  • There's so many. Yeah, I'm sorry. It's it's a huge question. What's okay

  • Let me give you some I really like Sharon olds. I don't know if you've ever read her poetry

  • I will send you some it's amazing and her poems she writes about what it's like to be a woman and she

  • it makes you feel your

  • womanhood in your entire body

  • so amazing and so beautiful and there is a painter by the name of Amrita Sher-Gil and she's a

  • Punjabi Hungarian woman and

  • She inspires me because she painted photos of

  • Us and just to see those paintings now selling for millions of like this is insane

  • So people like that Malala

  • Inspires me Amal Clooney inspires me every day. I have the she was on Vogue magazine the cover recently. Yep

  • I bought right in front. Yeah

  • all my desk where I write every day because like that represents to me that oh I can be

  • Intelligent I can be beautiful. I can be every single thing. I've read multi-dimensional and

  • It's allowed and yeah, she gives me her being on that cover gives me permission to be everything

  • Yeah, I agree with you. That was really huge. I mean do I choose someone I think about yeah

  • That's very very cool

  • Music do you love music? What what I do?

  • I listen to

  • all that I'm like shuffling through all of the

  • I listen to everything there's not really a specific

  • style that I vibe with only

  • Recently, I mean I also have my like writing music

  • Yeah, so when I am writing I can only listen to instrumental if there's words in it. I have too much. It's too much

  • It's like I need to project myself onto this rather than this thing projecting onto me. Um

  • But to get into the mood and the emotion of writing I listen to like the Punjabi folk music

  • and I listen to the music that was like

  • you know when they say that there's a certain albums that stay with you and it's like there's a certain time period from like the

  • Ages of like 15 to like 21 and though the album's you never forget. Yes. I have to listen to those on repeat

  • So I am listening to like Frank Ocean. Here's like a one Adele album that I have to like play all of the time

  • Beyonce self-titled album and

  • even Lauryn Hill

  • You know, they really bring me back to that place where I was

  • while writing about the really difficult topics

  • So I listen to those two get into the mood and then I put on like my colleagues and my like Eastern music

  • And then eventually I go to like the instrumental and that's when I get to work amazing

  • you're obviously drawing from a particular period of your life and that's why you're writing from but has the experience of Fame and

  • Everything that has come from what?

  • The original work inspired do you think but that's taking you on even more of a Journey and you might draw from that

  • Ah, I think I should I think it's a really weird experience and I don't know. No one really asked me that question?

  • And I never talk about it because I'm like nobody wants to hear me complain about that, but it's a weird

  • unnatural juxtaposition in your body

  • And I haven't figured it out yet, but I know that I need to write about it

  • But it was difficult to go from you know, being nineteen eighteen twenty-one and writing about the topics

  • I wrote about in milk and honey, and then suddenly this beautiful

  • Thing that the universe gave me it took me to a place of stability. Yeah and safety and

  • then I was like I should have been happy but instead I was very confused because I

  • stability and safety were not the norm that I grew up in and they were not ever around and

  • Suddenly I had to write from a place of that and I couldn't write and I had to teach myself to write from that place

  • and I still haven't fully figured it out yet, but it's like years in the making you know for

  • Like two decades. I was writing from a place of fear

  • And now to be writing from a place of power. I'm still learning how to figure that out

  • So I wanna I want to make sure that I ask you some questions from my book club readers who loves your book and

  • They're so sweet. Yeah, they are just so delightful with the photos and the messages

  • They've been sending me. So thank you to all of them

  • Yeah

  • You'll see there are some beautiful questions and people really really loved reading of the book. So this is from Viviana

  • Repeat I wanted to say how beautiful your writing is. I wanted to ask where do you enjoy writing is something

  • Is there something you prefer to do in private in a coffee shop in a park?

  • Do you write by hand, or do you write you know?

  • So I've tried all of those things. Yeah writing in a park is too messy. I get dirt all over my clothes

  • It's just not a good luck writing in a coffee shop is too loud

  • I have yet to find a very quiet coffee shop and like to write in my bed or

  • On the couch and I think it's because it feels casual

  • Yes, you know verses like this big oak desk and me trying to be like alright

  • I'm a writer and I'm gonna write something brilliant today

  • So it's usually in one of those two places where it's quiet really and a space. That's empty not cluttered

  • And I write both by hand and on the computer. So every day I have the practice of writing by hand

  • It's a lot of free writing. There's no intention behind. You know what this is gonna look like

  • but it's trying to keep that writing muscle active because writing is a muscle and you have to

  • continue to work it out if you want it to stay strong and there was a time when I stopped writing for a year and

  • I lost it all

  • But then yeah, and then I take the pieces that I like from that for my journals

  • I transfer those to my laptop and that's when I begin editing

  • But then what happens is that?

  • There are pieces you wake up one morning and you already feel it in your body and it's already finished and it's almost like playing

  • like a song in your head and there's no time for no notebooks or pencils and you run to your laptop and you're like

  • Just got to get it out

  • Yeah

  • so I think you just have to like you have to go with what works for you and

  • I've read so much on like well other writers and authors do and what advice works for them

  • But you have to you have to do what's right for you. And what feels right? Yeah lastly

  • What advice would you give to a writer to who is afraid of writing and is holding back?

  • I think

  • You'd I get it I

  • Feel that every day and I've published two books and every day. I'm afraid and I'm like

  • This is too much or I'm not good enough. I say to the people around me and my team

  • I'm like, I think that's it. I think it's done now everybody pack your bags. Let's go home

  • and

  • So I can really relate to that and the reason I say that is because I think it's so important for creative people to know

  • That they're not alone

  • Creativity and being an artist is kind of an isolating experience. And so to know you're not alone helps and you

  • Have to let the fear go and you have to write

  • Not for the product

  • But just for the simple act of writing and you just got it, write, write, write, write and I always say hey

  • I'm gonna go away for three months. I'm just gonna write really bad things. Yeah gonna be like that

  • Yeah, that's fine

  • and I have to get it out of the way before I can get to the good stuff and

  • So right the bad stuff

  • It just makes you like closer to the good stuff and hone in on your craft and I think practice really makes perfect

  • It's really about letting go of an outcome

  • Yeah

  • and I think fear is so debilitating for creative people because it allows

  • It's like tying your hands up behind your back and nothing gets done in that way. So you just got to let it go

  • Yeah, beautiful question from OSS member, India

  • How much editing does a poem typically go through before you're comfortable sharing it?

  • Are they pretty raw or do you spend time after the first inspiration tweaking them? Mmm, I think it depends on the piece

  • Like I said that there's such feeling you get in your belly and it's like this kick or it turns a little bit

  • It's like butterflies and when you get that, you know that the poem is done

  • Sometimes I can write like a four-minute poem in two hours and it requires very little editing

  • but then there are some pieces like women of color is

  • 10 words I

  • Spent probably a year

  • Fixing it. It used to be a love poem Wow, and it became

  • Women of color and so you just can't stop until your gut says it's done. Yeah. Yeah, no rights

  • I read milk and honey last summer the month of my sexual assault and

  • As a trans boy who at the time was 15 years old felt so alone

  • Milk, and honey, really inspired me to seek help. Thank you so much for being the light I needed to get help our be

  • My question for you is what was the hardest thing about writing the book?

  • What was going through your mind while you were writing it much. Love the hardest thing about writing the book

  • Milk, and honey wasn't hard to write because I wasn't writing milk and honey. I

  • was just writing because I loved it so much and it's this thing that took over my body and it was kind of like

  • almost like I was addicted to

  • Writing at that time. I would steal away any moment. I was in University

  • My friends are out partying and I was like, all right. Hold on just one more line

  • You know

  • And it was just this love affair that I had and it wasn't till really the collection was done that

  • My readers asked me for a book I never ever

  • Imagined I was I'm a huge book lover growing up and I've read hundreds of books, but never thought it could be me

  • But when they said hey, where can I purchase your book?

  • that's when I was like, okay, I guess I can do something with this and

  • Everything was already done. So it was very easy. They like put it all together, but the pressure I felt actually

  • during the second book and

  • I think cuz there's like this intention of I'm gonna like go on this journey and write a book

  • and so I think

  • You just have to take it easy and take it one day at a time and it doesn't have to become this whole giant

  • Confusing thing and I just take it one page at a time. Yeah. Yeah

  • One from Devon

  • Reading about the tensions between you and your father

  • Was heartbreaking for me because I always felt very close to my own dad

  • I don't like imagining it any other way for us

  • My question is did this book impact your current relationship with your father in any way it definitely did

  • We are my daddy's he's gonna watch this incomplete

  • Tell me these things

  • He is very sensitive and he's very emotional

  • But you could never see that

  • Because he has this exterior that is so rough and it's so tough, and he doesn't know how to communicate

  • Emotionally verbally anyway and so he was always this scary figure in my life

  • But the books really brought us together because it's

  • Something that we can like connect through and I think it allowed him to see that. I'm not a little girl

  • You know

  • And he doesn't he just he can relax a little bit and he sees that I'm this young woman now who has her?

  • Life figured out not entirely, of course

  • But like it's on the road to figuring things out and I can make good decisions

  • and it's okay and even to like I brought him on the India tour with me and

  • It's the most time we've ever spent together and it's most talking we've ever done in our life

  • And so was really really

  • emotional there are many days where I was crying on planes and in hotel rooms because I'm like

  • I can't believe this is happening and I was able to see my father as a man

  • And not my father for the first time and it was bittersweet because it was like amazing that that was happening

  • But I was like, wow it took 25 years

  • To get here. That's a long time and so it's definitely helped a lot and you know

  • We talk about art and poetry all of the time now, so it's nice

  • Colette has a question. What has been the most impactful?

  • Experience for you since milk, and honey was published

  • I think just meeting people who read the work and can I put it so much because

  • People always asked. Oh my god. How does it feel like you're going all these places and doing all these things?

  • you must like wake up just being overjoyed every time day and I'm like

  • Not really. I mean, I'm it's good. It's amazing. It's normal, but I'm not like

  • This is crazy because it's just maybe because I'm on this train

  • It's going super fast and then of it feels real that's the problem

  • I feel like it's all happening to like my twin sister and she just like never shows up

  • So I have to show up for her and do the talking for her

  • But then I meet people and they're like, I love your work and this is what it did for me

  • And those are the moments where I like all the emotions come out and I'm like, oh my god

  • This is important and I have to keep going. Yeah

  • Unicorn wants to know did you get any backlash or hate from your community because of writing about these issues?

  • And if so, how do you deal with it?

  • I myself an aspiring novelist and poet and the only thing holding me back from publishing is my fear from my conservative community

  • Yeah, I get that. I think that I was so I remember a month before milk, and honey was self-published

  • I couldn't sleep anymore. It was a consistent anxiety of like what is gonna happen to me? And what are people gonna think? Uh,

  • There's no answer that's gonna be good enough

  • but you just have to ignore it because

  • What you're doing is so much stronger than that small group of people who are saying that you're too loud

  • It's unattractive and it's not sex see and you kind of you know, you just have to ignore

  • I remember I used to perform about a lot of my early work was about

  • abuse and violence that's inflicted on women's bodies and I was just little like 17 year old in every event that I went to it's

  • All I talked about and people would roll their eyes at me and they'd be like, oh god

  • she makes everyone so uncomfortable and I felt so unattractive and

  • but I was like no like I cannot I

  • have to tell the story if you silence me like you've silenced so many other people that who's going to tell it and so you

  • Just have to tell it because there's so much empty space

  • I needs to be filled with stories like these that's beautiful the way you talk about

  • how

  • By giving yourself permission you give other people permission to show up with the vulnerability with whatever their it is that they're carrying

  • whatever her story is and that's

  • That you feel that sense of responsibility

  • Not just to yourself, but other people and surround the women. Yeah amazing. I

  • Hear that you are working on short stories screenplays and songs

  • Do you compose music do you play an instrument?

  • Can you share anything that you're working on right now? I'm working on a play. I

  • Wouldn't even say songs

  • Though because I think I'm so terrible at it and no one should ever have to hear me sing. That was just beautiful crime

  • I used to sing though. Like I sang

  • And I did I played the harmonium for like eight years sure. You say no I have an instinct. No

  • sing beautifully people keep saying that I'm like

  • Because there's such a musicality to the way that you speak. So I feel what they say. It would be hard

  • So now I'm working on a something

  • Okay, but I don't call them songs because it is they said the same thing. They're like

  • But it's the way that you

  • sort of move and how the words sort of like leave your mouth and the rhythm of it that this would be so amazing if

  • It was something like audio. So I'm working on something

  • Related to that. I'm more excited about the play because it's coming together really quickly. It's I

  • Perform. I've performed so many shows but I've never seen my work because I'm the one putting it on right but I was in New

  • York for about a week in New York ailments like this little workshop that I did for a week and

  • To put these poems in the mouths of other people and then being the audience was so electrifying

  • And so that's what I'm working on. I've written like chapters of what might be a collection of

  • Short stories or maybe fiction or maybe even a memoir but it's a different part of your head that you have to use

  • When you're writing like longer prose versus the poetry

  • And so I think I have like a one more collection of poetry in me before I move into

  • Longer prose. Yeah

  • And I one more question. I think I meant to ask earlier. Actually. I'm curious. Do you ever have men read?

  • milk, and honey, and

  • And it's interesting because it's actually a man that gave me milk and honey to her because he loved it so much

  • But I'm curious whether that whether it does

  • Receive a reception occasionally where they've it makes them feel

  • Defensive like having read it. Is that something that you've experienced will come across

  • I haven't come across it

  • Firsthand mmm, but I know it's there mmm because I've liked the negative criticism a lot of it does come from guys

  • And so no one has come up to me and said I read it and it sucked it. I hate you

  • Yeah, but I mean I expected that mmm

  • And so I would get so much anxiety when I had to do book signings and a man would walk up to me

  • I was like

  • My body would say and I'm like here I go. Okay

  • I have to like defend this thing and then suddenly they would say lovely things and I was so confused by

  • I think it's I think it's good. I'm like lucky that a lot of men have actually

  • anything men

  • like people were writing articles like very early on saying that this is a book that every woman needs to read and like

  • That turns me nuts I know it's like stored under like women's

  • Fictional women's poetry or whatever and like no it's like preaching to the choir the only women read it. Yes

  • Please don't file it under that. Yeah, that's not what it is. Exactly and I'm like if we're not changing minds and in this

  • Conversation For men then what's the point? And so what was amazing though was like a lot of men in India

  • came out ask compared to North America like a majority of the audience was guys and I was like

  • This is so cool

  • And I had my own like very messed up ideas of what that audience was gonna look like right guys me entirely

  • Yeah

  • So there is like they're embracing it and a lot of older gentlemen who are like in their 40s and 50s. Yeah

  • Amazing

  • So on behalf of OSS thank you so much Ruby. This has been amazing. And before I let you go

  • I'm really curious if you could pick a book for

  • Yourself? What would you recommend? Okay, this is really hard to pick. Um, let's see. Ah

  • I would say I

  • Love love love ODEs by Sharon olds and if you haven't read are you happy? I don't say it's amazing

  • It's just a series of poems that are ODEs to different things that women have to deal with

  • And then there's the color purple by Alice Walker which I feel like I read every I chose that is like my second or third

  • But for the club, oh, I already love that. Okay. Yes great choice so good. Yeah

  • Yeah, there we have that is one of our picks. I'm I'm glad we're on track

  • Yeah, um, but I would say we'll definitely I'm fine. Thank you. Thank you for having me. No, it's been great. I'm so happy

  • I got to meet you. Me too

And so everyone's like this is a bad idea the moment you self-publish, you know

Subtitles and vocabulary

Click the word to look it up Click the word to find further inforamtion about it