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  • -Today is Friday.

  • That's usually when I catch up on some personal stuff.

  • I check my in-box or I check my e-mails.

  • I send thank-you notes.

  • And I was just running -- [ Cheers and applause ]

  • I was running a bit behind today.

  • -Really? -Yeah.

  • Anyways, I'd like to write out some thank-you notes right now.

  • Is that cool with you guys? [ Cheers and applause ]

  • James, can I get some

  • thank-you-note-writing music, please?

  • [ Soft music playing ]

  • -Wow. Look at that. -Wow!

  • -Thank you, Three Wise Men bringing gifts of

  • gold, frankincense, and myrrh, for showing us

  • you clearly never have been to a baby shower.

  • It's like, "Diapers. Diapers."

  • [ Soft music playing ]

  • Thank you, tinsel, for showing me what my tree would look like

  • if it went through a '70s glam-rock phase.

  • -Nice! -Yeah.

  • [ Soft music playing ]

  • Thank you, Christmas, for being that special time

  • we reflect on the Holy Trinity --

  • regular, cheesy, and caramel.

  • Mix them both. Oh, you rebel!

  • [ Soft music playing ]

  • Thank you, Christmas lawn inflatables in the morning,

  • for looking like Frosty went a little too hard

  • the night before.

  • -Oh, no!

  • -[ Yawns ] Leave me alone.

  • "Wake up, wake up, Frosty."

  • -Blow me up.

  • -Ugh!

  • -Mm, Frosty!

  • [ Soft music playing ]

  • -Thank you, Christmas dinner,

  • for basically panicking and being like,

  • "Uh, let's just do Thanksgiving again, plus ham.

  • Yeah, that's what we'll do.

  • I don't know. Sure."

  • [ Soft music playing ]

  • Thank you, stores that offer gift wrapping,

  • for being a fun way of asking,

  • "Hey, want to be stuck here for an extra 40 minutes?"

  • I guess so.

  • [ Soft music playing ]

  • Thank you, wrapping gifts yourself,

  • for taking 10 seconds to go from "This is coming out great" to

  • "I mean, I don't need to cover the whole box."

  • No one looks at the bottom. -Yeah.

  • -Come on, it looks gorgeous.

  • Take a picture of it, yeah.

  • And save that wrapping paper. I want to use it next year.

  • [ Soft music playing ]

  • Thank you, eggnog, for easily being one of the top-five nogs.

  • Easily. -Easily, yeah.

  • [ Soft music playing ]

  • -Thank you, Rudolph saving Christmas,

  • for proving that Santa can make truly anything in his workshop,

  • as long as it's not headlights.

  • "Rudolph, you get in front, and --"

  • "Huh?" -Oh, no!

  • [ Soft music playing ]

  • -Thank you, sugarplums, for sounding suspiciously like

  • someone just trying to rebrand prunes.

  • "Uh, they're sugarplums.

  • -Is that the last one of 2021?

  • -[ Chuckles ] Wow.

  • This is the last one of 2021.

  • We're all here together, sharing this experience.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -♪ A shared experience

  • -I know. I love it. So happy.

  • Well, I want to thank each and every one of you

  • for coming out tonight and laughing...

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • ...cheering...

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • ...hooting...

  • [ Audience hoots ]

  • ...hollering...

  • [ Crowd cheering ]

  • ...yelling.

  • [ Crowd cheering ]

  • Whispering...

  • ...loving... -Aww!

  • -...caring... -Ooh!

  • -...being jealous... -Ah!

  • -...being... [ Laughter ]

  • Yes.

  • [ Soft music playing ]

  • Thank you, Santa Claus, for festively testing

  • the limits of breaking-and-entering laws.

  • There you have it, everybody.

  • That's our last "Thank You Note" of 2021.

-Today is Friday.

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