Oh, mygosh, didtheentireInternetgetwipedoutdueto a terriblecyberterroristattack?
No, it's stillthere?
Well, then, whythe **** wouldyouaskmeif I wannagoBlackFridayshopping?
BlackFriday? Nothanks.
If I'm gonnabeupatfourinthemorning, it'llbeonmyownterms, whichisusuallyif I didn't gotobedinthefirstplacebecause I gotcarriedawaybingingYouTubecompilationsofepicTikToks.
TheworstthingaboutBlackFridayisthatitremindsme I onlyhave a fewweekslefttoprocrastinatebuyingChristmasgifts.
You'reseriouslyaskingif I wannagoBlackFridayshoppingwithyou, girlfriend?
MorelikeBlackoutFriday, 'causethat's howmuch I'd havetodrinkinordertofeellikeitwas a goodideatogo.
QuicktipforthoseofyoubraveenoughtogoshoppingonBlackFriday, hitupStarbucksbeforehandandgetyourself a hotbeverage, butdon't drinkit.
Saveitforself-defense.
I wouldn't goBlackFridayshoppingiftheyweregivingeverythingawayforfree.
I wouldn't goiftheypaidmetoshop.
Infact, ifyoueverseemeat a storeonBlackFriday, callthecops, because I'm probablybeingforcedtogobykidnapperswhoareholdingmyfamilyforransom, liketheransomis a TVonsaleatBestBuy, I guess.
Occasionally, I dogooutonBlackFriday, butnottoshop.