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  • Sure is dark.

  • Ahh!

  • Ow!

  • Oh, it's just a chair.

  • [laughing]

  • I guess I'm imagining things in the dark.

  • Oh! another monster!

  • Ah, it's just a coral branch. Nothing to be scared of.

  • Ah! What was that?

  • [screaming]

  • [growling]

  • [laughing]

  • Huh?

  • Um, is this gonna be much longer?

  • Stay back! I'm warning you!

  • Alright, now you're just acting silly.

  • I want you to [mumbling].

  • No! Don't eat me! I'm too chewy!

  • [screaming]

  • Holy shrimp! They're everywhere!

  • [screaming]

  • [mumbling]

  • When you hear the Lonesome ring of chimes

  • That bring the Spirits singing

  • Soon your spine is tingling

  • And there's just One thing to say

  • Ahh! ♪

  • Eyeballs in the Dark dilating

  • Now your Heart is palpitating

  • And there's only just one Thought that you can convey

  • Terror all around you! You can't get away! ♪

  • We take pride in making sure You have a frightful stay

  • Join the wretched chorus In the nightmare play

  • And remember it's all you Can scream at the ghost café ♪

  • Terror all around you And we've just begun

  • You'll be trembling helpless Lump of fear when we are done

  • Grim unearthly creatures Flaunting nauseating features

  • Make for ghastly Midnight screechers

  • You'll be speechless but for Ahh! ♪

  • Surrender to the Horrifying phantom freaks

  • Who death-defying Stunts of fearful madness

  • Startle with a Shocking interjection

  • From which there Is no protection! ♪

  • Boo! ♪

  • [screaming]

  • [laughing]

  • Get your mitts off me gal, bucko!

  • Ooh!

  • You're not going to take that from a stranger,

  • are you, Eugene?

  • Fight for my love!

  • This is all a big misunderstand--

  • Hey!

  • Ow!

  • [groaning]

  • [gurgling]

  • Oh. Me lost the fight and me Puff.

  • Uh oh.

  • Ha-ha! Eh, I win! Well, kind of.

  • Here, kitty-kitty.

  • Oh, here kitty-kitty.

  • Oh, who's a good kitty?

  • [humming]

  • [sighing]

  • [humming]

  • Gah!

  • [screaming]

  • I hate spiders!

  • [whimpering]

  • [screaming]

  • Boo.

  • [screaming]

  • Thank you!

  • Please no!

  • Good day, sir. Are you yeti to order?

  • - Oh, Squidward! - What? What? What? Huh?

  • You are not gonna believe this!

  • There's a yeti crab a table seven.

  • And he is sniffing out the lazy.

  • Ha-ha. Of course he is. Nice costume, Eugene.

  • Couldn't you have at least had it dry cleaned or pressed?

  • [roaring]

  • Didn't brush this morning, did we?

  • Argh!

  • Look, Patrick! We floated back up.

  • Out of the deep, dark, depressing horrible abyss!

  • Argh!

  • Who are you calling dark and depressing?

  • We didn't mean it that way, Mr. Seamonster, sir.

  • Um but, we really want to know is, are you hungry?

  • Mmm.

  • That's the best think I've tasted since that

  • [indiscernible], back in '76.

  • I'll take 640 of 'em.

  • Woohoo!

  • Oh my Neptune.

  • Grease gout.

  • Holy measles!

  • Trash trichinosis!

  • [coughing]

  • Dust bunny bronchitis!

  • Polyester plague!

  • The whole shebang!

  • Gary, you are in big trouble, mister!

  • Gary! Gary! Unlock this door immediately!

  • Gary. Gary, do you hear?

  • [whimpering]

  • Gary?

  • Alright, Gary, you have left me no choice!

  • Wa-pow!

  • Gary!

  • [screaming]

  • You put Fluffy down right now!

  • Bad boy, Gary. Bad, bad, bad boy!

  • Bad! Bad, Gary, bad!

  • I have told you and told you and told you-- oh hello!

  • Are you a friend of Fluff--

  • What's goin' on?

  • Okay, now this is starting to hurt.

  • Okay. That's great, SpongeBob.

  • But you don't have to knock me in the--

  • Squidward, why'd you make that weird noi-- Ahh!

  • Easy boy. Easy.

  • Never thought I'd say this but...

  • I gotta get outta this kitchen!

  • [crying]

  • Ahh!

  • Squidward! That giant Krabby Patty is on a rampage!

  • We have to escape!

  • Do you always go barefoot at work?

  • Or have I just never noticed before?

  • Wouldn't this just count as half barefoot?

  • Squidward, behind you!

  • Abandon ship!

  • [screaming]

  • It's a krabalanche!

  • Boy howdy.

  • This critter put up some sort of fight!

  • That's not the worm.

  • Pardon?

  • That's not the worm.

  • That's his tongue.

  • Oh.

  • This is the tongue.

  • And the whole thing is the worm.

  • Run for your life!

  • [screaming]

  • SpongeBob, you still got that paperclip and that string?

  • I'm way ahead of you, Sandy!

  • Yeehaw!

  • Now this is what I call a rodeo!

  • We'll be nice and safe up here.

  • [train whistle blowing]

  • [screaming]

  • I'm going to get some extra mayonnaise from the back.

  • No mayonnaise!

  • Okay.

  • He's acting weird today.

  • Hey, there's plenty of mayo back here.

  • Huh?

  • Is somebody in there?

  • Monsters.

  • Squidward and Mr. Krabs.

  • Those things have captured everyone

  • and put them in the creepy pods.

  • Hi, uh, Patrick.

  • I've gotta clean the tables, Patrick.

  • Ha-ha. Patrick

  • Hi, Spongebob.

  • Don't you want a cute little jelly fish?

  • No thanks. Ah! Mr. Krabs!

  • You seem tired, Spongebob.

  • Why don't you go home and take a nap?

  • Yes and you can use this jelly as a pillow.

  • Oh, that's okay. I have one at home.

  • [screaming]

  • Sleep well.

  • - Sleep! - Ah! Random guy!

  • [screaming]

  • [laughing]

  • Witch.

  • [laughing]

  • Oh, good grief. Not that kind of sandwich!

  • A desert sandwich has tomatoes and bread and, and mayo.

  • No worries. I used to work in an evil deli.

  • Tada!

  • Oh. Looks pretty good.

  • [screaming]

  • Get it off! Get it off!

  • [laughing]

  • What the...

  • Sewer snake!

  • [screaming]

  • In here!

  • Ooh, look.

  • You are here.

  • Why is the diagram shaped like a giant sewer snake

  • with an arrow pointing to its stomach?

  • What are you doing?

  • Oh, crossing digested by a giant sewer snake of my to do list.

  • Oh, that makes sense.

  • [screaming]

  • Snake!

  • [screaming]

  • Good going, Squidward. You're tickling him!

  • I'll help ya.

  • [screaming]

  • Squidward, the safe! Squidward! Safe!

  • Don't bother me while I'm histerical!

  • Ahh!

  • Oh!

  • Oh crap.

  • I'm alive.

  • I'm alive!

  • I guess we're just lucky.

  • Oh look, you found the safe.

  • Just my luck.

  • Shh! Someone's coming.

  • Watch me scare this dummy real good.

  • [roaring]

  • [screaming]

  • Well, you scared yourself.

  • I guess that counts

  • [mumbling]

  • Awe, hey little fella.

  • [roaring]

  • [screaming]

  • The patty!

  • Oh, what are we gonna do?

  • Don't eat my patty!

  • [screaming]

  • [gagging]

  • Squidward, you saved the Krabby Patty!

  • Sea spider! Sea spider! Sea spider!

  • [roaring]

  • Ahh!

  • [whimpering]

  • [grunting]

  • Oh.

  • Back. Back!

  • Oh.

  • Oh. Oh!

  • [crying]

  • [whimpering]

  • Ooh. Whoa!

  • Patrick.

  • Hi, guys.

  • You sure are popular.

  • I come here every night.

  • [screaming]

  • [whimpering]

  • Hi, Patrick.

  • Long time no see, man.

  • Hi, Jennifer. Hi, Chuck.

  • Good evening.

  • Oh.

  • [indiscernible], sir?

  • I support [indiscernible] sprinkles with [indicernible]

  • on a bed of sea grass.

  • Drizzled with coral slum,

  • and just a [indiscernible] of algae.

  • Don't mind if I do.

  • Mmm.

  • Mmm. Mmm. Not bad.

  • Pardon me.

  • [mumbling]

  • Sorry, buddy.

  • The night shift certainly attracts a different crowd.

  • [roaring]

  • Welcome to the Krusty Krab.

  • You seem like a mollusk of discerning tastes.

  • Could I interest you in a side of kelp fries?

  • Hey! I'm not on the menu!

  • Squidward, it swallowed Mr. Krabs!

  • And this affects me... how?

  • [screaming]

  • What do we do now?

  • [screaming]

  • [screaming]

  • [screaming]

  • [screaming]

  • [whimpering]

  • Who is it?

  • Sandy! Let us in!

  • How can I be sure you're not welks in disguise?

  • - We're not welks. - We promise.

  • Let us in!

  • What's your mother's maiden name?

  • Bubble Bottom.

  • Patrick, what's your first name?

  • This is a trick question!

  • Oh.

  • You're in.

  • What's with the extra foot, buddy?

  • Huh? This isn't mine.

  • Whoa!

  • [roaring]

  • [screaming]

  • [roaring]

  • Not you again.

  • Ha! Slimey snow vermin! You missed!

  • That weren't the attack.

  • Hit the deck!

  • [screaming]

  • [meowing]

  • Gary!

  • [screaming]

  • Oh no, not again.

  • Alright!

  • What did you do to me?

  • I know! I know! Uh. Made you a monster!

  • And a giant.

  • A giant monster!

  • I don't want to be a giant, lumbering monster!

  • What'll I do now?

  • That's easy.

  • Play giant lumbering monster tag!

  • Yeah! Yeah. You chase us!

  • And we run around and scream like crazy!

  • Try and catch us giant monster Squidward.

  • [laughing]

  • Spongebob, come back here!

  • [screaming]

  • Monster!

  • [screaming]

  • Monster!

  • Monster.

  • Huh?

  • Squidward won't make his audition

  • with the Philharmonic Orchestra.

  • What can we do?

  • We'll have to create another Squidward in a lab.

  • Patrick, you are a genius!

  • [growling]

  • [grunting]

  • Eureka!

  • I am the keeper of the Hornet Forest.

  • State your business here.

  • I'm trying to find my clarinet.

  • Your clarinet?

  • Yes, my clarinet, of which I am the proud owner...

  • [laughing]

  • A clarinet is not owned.

  • Why don't you tell me why you're really here?

  • You're calling me a liar?

  • I don't appreciate your tone.

  • I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you!

  • This is a sacred place,

  • where clarinets can live without persecution.

  • You need to learn respect.

  • I've learned.

  • [gasping]

  • I've learned respect.

  • I don't believe you.

  • [screaming]

  • What is that horrific banging?

  • Patrick's being eaten by a giant sea monster!

  • Hey hey!

  • Oh, he's crying out for help!

  • Hey, Spongebob! Hey, up here!

  • Look! No hands!

  • I'm going home to hide under the covers!

  • It's every cephalapod for himself!

  • Frenchie, I gotta call you back!

  • Squidward, you have to stay in this game!

  • [screaming]

  • Help!

  • Squidward! No!

  • [whimpering]

  • OMG! [indiscernible]

  • You don't see that everyday.

  • My friends are gonna be lunch if I don't think fast!

  • Spongebob! Patrick!

  • Ms. Puff! Mr. Krabs!

  • Larry!

  • Youch!

  • Look out, Pearl! I'll save you!

  • [laughing]

  • That's what I'm talking about!

  • They're no longer jelly fish!

  • Now they're jelly buzzsaws!

  • Whoa!

  • Oh. Hey.

  • You're supposed to fly into this.

  • [screaming]

  • Oh, I'm a walking glow stick!

  • [screaming]

  • Oh, [indiscernible] Jelly!

  • [mumbling]

  • Ow!

  • Such a soothing pasttime.

  • [screaming]

  • Yeah!

  • Help me, my beloved.

  • Don't touch me, you disgusting freak!

  • Oh! My dress is ruined!

  • [giggling]

  • Mommy poopy.

  • [screaming]

  • [gasping]

  • Phew!

  • Ha-ha. Walking on the tongue.

  • [humming]

  • That's a lot of teeth.

  • [screaming]

  • What's happening?

  • Hey, Squidward. I see you're playing with the sea monsters.

  • Isn't my bubble zoo fun?

  • Get me out of here, you moron!

  • Okay. Oh, Maggie.

  • Tickle-tickle. Let's put Squidward down.

  • Wow! Awe.

  • [grunting]

  • Yeah.

  • [mumbling]

  • [groaning]

  • 237 Rock-Bottom. Oh, there it is.

  • Oh, remember Squidward, real artists embrace the unknown.

  • Uh, is anyone here?

  • I've got a delivery from the Krusty Krab.

  • [screaming]

  • What are we screaming about?

  • Monsters!

  • They're not monsters, Squidward. They're my friends.

  • What's up, SpongeBob?

  • Man I'm good!

  • [screeching]

  • Cave dwellers.

  • Whoa!

  • Get back!

  • [screeching]

  • That's better. From now on, you shall be my minions.

  • Servants to follow my every order!

  • I decree this kingdom to be called the Chum Caverns!

  • And may the people of Bikini Bottom

  • shutter in awe of its majesty.

  • [laughing]

  • [roaring]

  • Awe, brother SpongeBob. Brother Patrick.

  • I bow to your good natures.

  • What can I do for you?

  • You can clobber that giant jelly fish monster thing!

  • Yeah! Smash it up good!

  • Oh, I couldn't that. I'm non-violent now.

  • I wouldn't hurt a fly fish.

  • [screaming]

  • [groaning]

  • [screaming]

  • [roaring]

  • How about some soothing music, jelly fish?

  • How are we gonna find a monster in the dark?

  • I can't see a thing.

  • You want to find it. It will find us.

  • [growling]

  • [screaming]

  • I'm the greatest.

  • [knocking]

  • And here comes the worst.

  • We're back.

  • [gasping]

  • La-la-la-la loch ness monster!

  • - How did you find it? - Oh simple, bag pipes.

  • It likes bag pipe music?

  • No, it hates it!

  • [growling]

  • But it sure loves to eat 'em.

  • I wonder how the Dutchman and his new girlfriend are doing.

  • I can't do it!

  • She wants to marry me! I ain't the marrying type.

  • [screaming]

  • [screaming]

  • Hey, SpongeBob?

  • So, you think this fudgy stuff

  • we're walking in might be the eel's...

  • Left over pudding?

  • Yes, I thought that too.

  • Hold it, SpongeBob.

  • Look.

  • It's the eel.

  • Well, nappy time always comes after pudding.

  • Let's go get that balloon from his throat before he wakes up.

  • Good idea.

  • - Be careful not to-- - Whoa!

  • He's awake!

  • [screaming]

  • Look out for his tail! Quick! find some time to--

  • hide behind.

  • Oh.

  • Morning already?

  • [gasping]

  • I'm coming, Mr. Krabs. Don't go anywhere!

  • I really don't have a choice.

  • Take this!

  • Ooh.

  • Good job, laddy.

  • We're not finished yet!

  • I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it!

  • I don't got it.

  • - Now, put her there, Patrick. - Put her there!

  • Ooh Patrick, have you been using a different moisturizer?

  • Your hands feel kind of...

  • [screaming]

  • Oh no. It's just the same old moisturizer I always use.

  • [mumbling]

  • Oh, come on, SpongeBob. Don't leave me hangin' here!

  • [mumbling]

  • Let me guess. It's time to start screaming again?

  • One second.

  • Okay, now,

  • [screaming]

  • [screaming]

  • Monster!

  • [growling]

  • - Captain! - You gotta save us!

  • I don't wanna be captain. I don't wanna be captain!

  • On guard!

  • Well, that was anticlimactic.

  • I'll just be here working while you do...

  • [mumbling]

  • Uh huh. Um. I'm sorry, ma'am,

  • but we're closed.

  • I see you're hungry but...

  • Uh, but we really are closed.

  • Um. Thank you. Come again.

  • Hey! Closed means closed, Grandma!

  • [grunting]

  • Oh boy. Some people.

  • [laughing]

  • Well. Oh.

  • Yes! Yes!

  • Sicketh them, boy!

  • [screaming]

  • Perhaps a soothing limerick will calm thee.

  • There once was a dragon so handsome and smart.

  • He let me go free for he had a big heart.

  • Everyone be-ith a critic.

  • Hi-ya! Woo woo wah!

  • Hi-ya!

  • No! No! No! No!

  • Dead end for you simpletons!

  • [laughing]

  • Wait a second.

  • [screaming]

  • [giggling]

  • Wow! The boys back home will never believe this.

  • I'm right here and I don't believe it.

  • Hold on to me dime, boy-o.

  • [screaming]

  • Well, that was anticlimactic.

  • Again.

Sure is dark.

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