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  • How could you possible date anyone?

  • I mean, look at you.

  • She must be blind.

  • Ooh, a limousine.

  • Oh, here she is.

  • Oh, I can just smell the money already.

  • Here you go, my dear, a throne befitting a queen.

  • Oh. Good evening, monsieur.

  • What might we have on the menu at this fine establishment?

  • Well, you should know considering the fact

  • that you work here, sod for brains.

  • Speaking of sod, why don't you get rid of this garbage?

  • It's starting to stink up the joint.

  • Don't say such a thing, Squidward!

  • Patty's just a little sick is all.

  • Wight, Wubbie-Wubbie?

  • I'll show you sick!

  • Squidward, what are you doing with my beautiful Patty?

  • Beautiful, huh?

  • How beautiful do you think this is?

  • [shuddering]

  • Stop it, Squidward!

  • Maybe you can't see Patty's beauty,

  • but to me, she's the most gorgeous creature in the sea.

  • [gasping]

  • [smooching]

  • Mmh, honey... What?

  • I wonder how the Dutchman and his new girlfriend are doing.

  • [Flying Dutchman] I can't do it!

  • She wants to marry me!

  • I ain't the marrying type.

  • [shrieking]

  • [screaming]

  • Mr. Krabs, this dinner has been so wonderful.

  • The coral was cooked to perfection.

  • [chuckling]

  • I don't think I could eat another bite.

  • Oh, I doubt that, my little shrimp boat.

  • [giggling]

  • You're spoiling me, Mr. Krabs.

  • I mean, foot rubs between courses,

  • caricatures,

  • imported music...

  • [playing a jazz tune]

  • Nothing's too good for you, my prickly peach.

  • Oh, what I'm trying to tell you, Mr. Krabs, is--

  • Uh, sir, your fancy-pantsy limousine is here.

  • Wonderful!

  • Pufflily-poo, your chariot awaits!

  • - Well... - [whistles]

  • [screaming]

  • You'll never have to walk again, my little lobster bib.

  • And now, the couple will exchange their vows.

  • Eugene, you have everything I've ever wanted with a man:

  • An exoskeleton, freakishly long eyestalks,

  • and the secret Krabby Patty formula.

  • [attendees] Aww...!

  • Cashina, you came into my life

  • when I thought I'd live the rest of it alone.

  • You showed me once and for all

  • that while money can't buy you love,

  • it can give you love.

  • [attendees] Aww...!

  • You may now kiss the bride.

  • [smooching]

  • [cheering]

  • Oh, no, what about the bouquet?

  • Uh, one bouquet coming up, Mrs. Krabs!

  • Hey, Karen, guess what?!

  • I finally got the Krabby Patty secret formula!

  • How do you like me now?

  • [beeping]

  • It's genuine.

  • Come here, you big hunk of aquatic organism!

  • [smooching] I knew you could do it!

  • [smooching]

  • Just don't blow it this time.

  • Your gentleman caller awaits.

  • Hello, my dear.

  • I must say, you look ravishing tonight.

  • Oh, my, you're a tiny thing, but awfully cute.

  • Tell me about yourself.

  • Well, I'm in the food service business.

  • I'm a bit of a restaurateur.

  • I'm the founder and owner of the Chum Bucket.

  • Never heard of it.

  • It's across the street.

  • Doesn't ring a bell.

  • It's on the back of the phone book.

  • Come on, I paid a lot of money for that ad!

  • Never mind. Never mind.

  • I'd like to hear about you.

  • Well...

  • - Plankton! - Krabs!

  • - Eugene! - Mommy?

  • "Mommy"?

  • SpongeBob!

  • There be no such thing as opening too early, me boy.

  • Excuse us, miss.

  • Huh?

  • SpongeBob, who's your friend?

  • Mr. Krabs, this is Patricia.

  • Patricia, the most beautiful sound I've ever seen.

  • SpongeBob,

  • do we need any more help down at the Krusty Krab?

  • - No. - We do?

  • Great, she can start right away.

  • Huh?

  • And who are you, my Rubenesque beauty?

  • That's Patricia, our newest Krusty Krab employee.

  • Well, she sure is stunning.

  • Just keep your eyes on the customers, Mr. Squidward.

  • SpongeBob! What's the meaning of this?

  • Meaning of what, Mr. Krabs?

  • "Local Resident Watches Pole?"

  • No one's gonna pay to read this malarkey!

  • When you write these stories,

  • you've gotta use a little imagination, boy.

  • Imagination...!

  • Yeah!

  • Maybe instead of "Man Watches Pole",

  • you could say something like, oh...

  • "Man Marries Pole."

  • Then you can alter the photo

  • a little to fit the headline and, see?

  • Now that's a juicy story!

  • It's time to use my imagination!

  • Hey, guys, can you fix me and the wife up

  • a couple of Krabby Patties?

  • SpongeBob?

  • Hello, friends.

  • Enjoying the outside world?

  • What are you all doing

  • sitting in the middle of the floor like that?

  • Oh, living out the remainder of my life in safety.

  • If you guys were smart, you would join me.

  • Just sitting in your house?

  • Ain't you gonna get lonesome?

  • I won't be lonesome,

  • I've got all the friends I need right here.

  • This is Penny,

  • and Chip,

  • and say hello to Used Napkin.

  • No, Gary! No, Gary!

  • Meow...

  • What?!

  • Hmm?

  • Gary?

  • [purring]

  • Oh...!

  • [audience] Aww...!

  • [chuckling] My, oh, my!

  • Folks, I have never seen anything quite like this.

  • It seems Snellie, the leader, just went back to comfort Gary!

  • Looks like you and I are in-laws, eh, Squidward?

  • You still have that horse after I ordered you to get rid of it!

  • Well, now I'm going to get rid of it once and for all!

  • No, Mr. Krabs! Please, don't make me give up Mystery!

  • I know you think she's just a horse,

  • but she's more than that, I tell you.

  • She listens to me,

  • she understands everything I say

  • and I understand her.

  • She's my best friend.

  • [sobbing]

  • Hey, who left this bowl of onions here?

  • Squidward! Hey, Squidward!

  • Squidward!

  • Squidwardiard!

  • Squidward, look at my new pet!

  • That's no pet, that's a wild animal.

  • No, he isn't! Watch this!

  • Fetch!

  • How many fingers am I holding up?

  • [buzzes three times]

  • Play dead!

  • [bell ringing]

  • I wouldn't let that thing in my house

  • even if it was potty-trained!

  • [humming and buzzing]

  • I didn't need to see that.

  • Well, we're going to my house to have a little fun.

  • How can you possibly have fun with a jellyfish?

  • [electronic music playing]

  • All is as it should be.

  • I promise never to use this net

  • for anything but pure sport again.

  • Jellyfish aren't meant to be captured forever.

  • - [buzzing] - [gasping]

  • Oh, No Name!

  • I guess I can name you now.

  • I'll call you... "Friend."

  • [chuckles nervously]

  • Cnidaria rex!

  • King Jellyfish!

  • [growling]

  • [smooching]

  • Kissy face!

  • [panting]

  • [panting]

  • Hmm?

  • [trembling]

  • Kevin!

  • [beeping]

  • Oh, Spat, we've been through so much together.

  • [romantic music playing]

  • [laughing]

  • Oh... Uh-huh...

  • Wait, you forgot about this pet!

  • Oh, that's only Wormy. He don't eat much.

  • Look at him, Patrick. Isn't he great?

  • Hey, little fella.

  • Coochie coochie coo coo!

  • Oh, look! Isn't he just precious?

  • Let's take him out to play.

  • 998, 999, 1000!

  • Ready or not, here I come!

  • You found me...

  • [both] There you are!

  • [stifled laughter]

  • [both] Oh, he found us!

  • [upbeat music playing]

  • [upbeat music keeps playing]

  • [crowd chanting] Pop that bubble!

  • No, you can't!

  • He's not just a bubble, he's a Bubble Buddy!

  • He's my friend and I love him!

  • Haven't you ever had a very special friend?

  • [sobbing]

  • Nickel Buddy, I'll never spend you!

  • Funny Muffler...

  • Jerky Pal...

  • Boo-boo Keys...

  • Snake Eyes...

  • [together] We love you!

  • [crying]

  • So, what do you say?

  • [crowd chanting] Pop that bubble!

  • Pop that bubble! Pop that bubble!

  • Pop that bubble! Pop that bubble!

  • Pop that bubble!

  • Let's get this over with

  • so I can go home and play my clarinet!

  • [screaming in slow-motion] No...!

  • [screaming continues]

  • [mumbling in slow-motion]

  • - Whoa! - [gasping]

  • [gasping]

  • Hey, don't I get a say in this?

  • I'll see you later, SpongeBob.

  • Things are getting a little weird around here.

  • So long.

  • [chuckling] Happy Leif Erikson Day!

  • Remember the day Sandy and I got married?

  • [gasping]

  • - What? - No!

  • I'm freaking out!

  • Mm-hm...

  • [playing wedding march]

  • Friends, we have gathered here today

  • to join these two hearts in the bonds of love.

  • SpongeBob, do you take Sandy as your lawfully wedded wife?

  • I do.

  • And Sandy, do you take SpongeBob

  • as your lawfully wedded husband?

  • And how!

  • Well then, I now pronounce you sponge and squirrel.

  • You may kiss the bride.

  • [wedding music playing]

  • [smooching]

  • [squeaking]