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  • We have a new student starting today,

  • so let's all put on a happy face for Flats the Flounder.

  • [clapping]

  • Tell the class something about yourself, Flats.

  • Well, I like to kick people's butts.

  • [laughing, clapping]

  • What a card!

  • Now, Flats, it's time to pick your seat.

  • Just go ahead and sit anywhere you like.

  • [Mrs. Puff] Okay, class, as you remember last week...

  • Hi, I'm SpongeBob.

  • Hi, SpongeBob.

  • I'm going to kick your butt.

  • [laughing]

  • That joke was almost funnier the second time.

  • - [Mrs. Puff] Bla, bla, bla... - No. I mean it.

  • [laughs]

  • That time it almost seemed like...

  • You did mean it.

  • - Mrs. Puff? - Yes, SpongeBob?

  • Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

  • [chuckles] Why, no, SpongeBob.

  • I'm in the middle of a coffee fueled sermon right now,

  • you can't afford to miss this information.

  • Yes, Mrs. Puff.

  • Sorry, Mrs. Puff.

  • Now, can I please have a volunteer

  • to come up to the board?

  • How about you, Flats?

  • Please draw for us a diagram

  • of a basic four-way intersection, Flats.

  • Please turn and show the class what you drew, honey.

  • Ah!

  • [gasping] My! How very creative!

  • We have an artist in the class.

  • [clapping]

  • [panting]

  • I just don't understand.

  • Why would Flats want to kick my butt?

  • I haven't said two words to the guy.

  • Hi, I'm SpongeBob.

  • One, two...

  • [gasps] Oh, no! That's three!

  • What am I going to do?

  • Was that...? Someone's coming!

  • They're getting closer.

  • I just gotta act natural.

  • Oh, that's real nice.

  • Whew! I thought for sure that was gonna be...

  • Flats!

  • Ah, hello, sir...

  • Kicked any good butts lately?

  • Yeah, I remember last week,

  • I was kicking this guy's butt real good,

  • and he leans over and says,

  • "Hey, you know,

  • life's like a bucket of wood shavings,

  • except for when the shavings are in a pail,

  • then it's like a pail of wood shavings!

  • [chuckles]

  • Hey, that story really speaks to me.

  • Really? What's it say?

  • It says, "Now I'm gonna kick your butt twice as hard."

  • [toilet flushing]

  • ...and I leave Gary's water bowl to Gary, and my curtains to...

  • Oh, Neptune, I just can't do this!

  • [phone ringing]

  • Death row, next in line speaking.

  • [Patrick] Hi, I'd like to place an order for delivery.

  • Patrick? Is that you?

  • Yeah, hey, Mario.

  • Let me get a large double olive, double--

  • Patrick, listen! It's me, SpongeBob!

  • I need your help!

  • You're working at Pizza Castle now?

  • What? No, listen!

  • I'm in big trouble.

  • There's a new guy at school here and he wants to kick my butt!

  • Listen, you're big and strong,

  • do you think you could come down here

  • and maybe rough him a bit?

  • Just to get him off my back?

  • Please, Patrick, I'm so scared,

  • it feels like I'm gonna throw up.

  • [Patrick] No, they're not closed.

  • I know, you want olives.

  • Patrick, you there?

  • [Patrick] Oh, I'm sorry, SpongeBob.

  • I was just talking to my old community college buddy, Flats.

  • I bumped into him at the soda store,

  • isn't that funny?

  • It must have been years since we've seen each other.

  • Well, let me get going.

  • He's got to go back to school soon.

  • He says he's got to kick somebody's butt.

  • [screaming]

  • [Patrick] Hello? Is this Pizza Castle?

  • [screaming]

  • [SpongeBob grunts]

  • Come in, SpongeBob.

  • Mrs. Puff, can I be in a different class?

  • But why?

  • I can't tell you.

  • Why ever not?

  • I just can't, Mrs. Puff.

  • My physical being is at stake, let's just leave it at that.

  • SpongeBob, you can tell me anything.

  • You've got to believe that.

  • Well, okay.

  • But only if you promise to keep it between us.

  • Of course.

  • Flats says he's going to kick my butt!

  • What?! There shall be no butt-kicking

  • in any class of mine!

  • This is an adult program.

  • SpongeBob, just leave it to me.

  • Aw, thanks, Mrs. Puff.

  • I knew I could count on you.

  • [bell ringing]

  • Have a nice lunch, SpongeBob?

  • Yes, Mrs. Puff.

  • Psst, SpongeBob,

  • I talked to Flats for you.

  • I used your name. It was all a misunderstanding.

  • You what?!

  • He was never going to kick your butt at all!

  • You see SpongeBob,

  • Flats is from a town where kicking someone's butt

  • means that he wants to be your friend.

  • And maybe play some sports with you on weekends.

  • I've got diarrhea!

  • [panting]

  • Ah!

  • Huh?

  • Are you Flats' dad?

  • Why, yes I am.

  • Okay, see, I didn't know where else to turn!

  • Patrick couldn't help me,

  • and Mrs. Puff only made it worse.

  • I sit next to your son Flats in school,

  • and he is a fine boy and all,

  • and I don't want you to take this the wrong way,

  • but he wants to kick my butt.

  • Dad, what are you doing?

  • Uh, nothing son.

  • What did I tell you about talking to strangers?

  • Now he's gonna kick my butt!

  • [screaming]

  • Out of my way! Out of my way!

  • Can't you see he's gonna kick my butt?!

  • Hi there, young people. Nice day today.

  • So, you like kicking butts, do ya?

  • Well, we'll show you, old man!

  • There he is, go get him!

We have a new student starting today,

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SpongeBob Meets Flats the School Bully ? | SpongeBob

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    Summer posted on 2021/08/26
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