Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles It’s that knot in your stomach that mixes fear and anxiety that materializes when you felt threatened by someone prettier than you, smarter than you. It can cause you to do some pretty stupid sitcom-level stuff just to regain control. Things that usually hurt other people too. You’re probably familiar with this feeling. It's what Shakespeare called "The Green-eyed Monster" Today, we’re talking about jealousy. Here’s the thing, kids. Jealousy is a distinctly first person emotion. It almost always comes from a place of insecurity, which you ultimately project on others. The bottom line? Jealousy isn’t about the other person. It’s about you. Today on WellCast, we’re gonna help you work through these insecurities so that your friends and your loved ones don’t get caught in a crossfire. We’ll give you three coping mechanisms to help you keep that jealousy from taking complete control of your life, ruining your relationships, and making you look totally stupid. I know you felt that vice-like grip of the green-eyed monster because you're not alone. It happens to everyone. Studies show that children as young as six months grimace when their mothers interact with a dummy baby. It’s pretty much the occupational hazard of belonging to the human race. We wanna be loved and we do not wanna be ignored. Unfortunately, long after we’ve outgrown our diapers, we still become a little child-like when we’re jealous. Jealousy tends to come with a specific set of blinders, and the more jealous we are, the less able we are to... let's say, empathize with others. For example, a study conducted by the researchers of the University of Delaware found that jealous people were more easily distracted and less able to perform simple memory games. So, let’s try to figure out how to get your jealousy issues under control. Take out your WellCast journal. We’ve got a three-step system for this and it’s simple. Acknowledge, communicate and resolve. So the next time you’re in a situation where you’re experiencing those extreme jealous thoughts, go into a separate room, take out your WellCast journal and calm down. Step 1: Acknowledge Admit it, you’re jealous! And you can’t run from your feelings, but by addressing your jealousy head-on, you can keep it from taking on epic unrealistic proportions. Write down exactly what’s making you jealous and why. Let’s say you just found out that your two best friends didn’t invite you to that movie that they caught last week. Hit it out. My friends are hanging out without me. I'm scared they'll stop being my friends. It’s okay to be a little dramatic. It’s just your journal. Step 2: Communicate Now that all of your embarrassing thoughts are out on paper, go get the real story. Don’t have an imaginary argument with your friends in your head. It’s only gonna make things worse. Tell them how you feel about what happened. Be vulnerable, and then apologize to them if you overreacted in any way 'cause you might've. Make it clear that you’re expressing your feelings and not stating facts. Speak in "I" statements. I feel like you didn’t want to hang out with me because you’re tired of me. That’s your insecurity. At a certain point, the only way to get over your jealousy is to stop thinking about yourself all the time and see someone else’s point of view. Step 3: Resolve, and this will be the hardest part for you because now, you have to listen. Your friends might tell you that you’re overreacting and they might be right. We know you don’t like horror movies, so we didn’t think to invite you. Let’s recap. That big bad green-eyed monster gets all of us sometimes. But today, we learned three ways to keep it at bay. By acknowledging your own insecurities, communicating with others, and ultimately, listening. Tweet us @watchWellCast E-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org or leave a comment down below. We’ll see you next time!