Putting jam in rice.

(Uncle Roger sobs)

This is disgusting! Who put jam--

(beep)

Hello, niece and nephew.

It's Uncle Roger.

Today, Uncle Roger gonna react to this video,

requested by so many niece and nephew out there.

It's Jamie Oliver making egg fried rice.

Jamie Oliver is professional chef,

very established.

Everybody know him.

So, Uncle Roger think this one is gonna be good.

I've been to many of his restaurant.

Before we start video, niece and nephew,

please smack the like button now,

like you slap a bag of rice.

Don't make Uncle Roger sad.

Smack like button.

Now let's start the video.

- Egg fried rice. It's an absolute classic.

And I've got--

- Two second into video, and I already see sauce pan.

Āi yā!

Where your wok?

Jamie, where your wok?

Egg fried rice need to use wok,

because you need the wok hay.

Many people asking Uncle Roger, what is wok hay?

It is the breath of wok.

When you cook with wok, the wok give the food flavor.

Get the wok hay.

No such thing as "saucepan hay."

Jamie, you have 25 cookbook, but you can't afford one wok?

Uncle Roger send you one wok for free, Jamie.

No problem.

- I absolutely love making this recipe.

Yes, you could do this as a side dish, no trouble at all,

but actually it's heading towards being a really beautiful

dinner, so--

- Wait.

- Yes, you can do this as a side dish.

- Jamie say egg fried rice is side dish?

When Uncle Roger growing up,

when my mom make me egg fried rice, that is the main dish.

I never tell my mom,

"Oh mom, this egg fried rice is only side dish.

Where the main dish? Where the main dish?"

I would have been beaten to death.

- I finely slice this up,

and as this pan gets nice and hot,

I'm gonna go in with one tablespoon of olive oil--

- One tablespoon of... of what?

- I'm gonna go in with one tablespoon of olive oil--

- Olive oil for egg fried rice?

Who use olive oil for egg fried rice?

What, are you making salad?

Olive oil is like white-people oil.

Not suitable for Asian dishes like egg fried rice.

- And I'm gonna go straight in with the onions,

and we'll get them sizzlin' straight away.

- No, no, no, no, no.

Spring onion is garnish!

It's garnish!

You put spring onion as the last thing in your meal,

not the first thing in the frying pan!

Āi yā!

- We'll get them sizzlin' straight away.

- No, you don't sizzle spring onion!

Nobody sizzle spring onion!

If you cook spring onion now, it will wilt.

It wilt!

This should be garlic!

First step should be garlic!

(Uncle Roger sighs)

This first three step all wrong already.

I thought you professional chef!

You have website and everything!

Uncle Roger don't even have website,

and Uncle Roger know you fucked up.

- And then I've got some packet pre-cooked rice.

Yes, you can cook your--

- Packet?

This guy owns so many restaurant,

and he still can't be bothered to make his own rice!

Packet rice!

Imagine if you go to Japanese restaurant

and you ask for noodle,

and the chef gives you instant noodle.

That is what this guy is doing!

- ...own rice, white rice, 12 minutes,

but for stir-fried rice, you have to drain it

and chill it.

- Uh...

You have to chill it, he correct.

But drain? Don't drain rice.

Uncle Roger make a whole video,

12 million view now,

of Auntie Hersha draining rice.

Don't drain rice.

But chill rice? Correct.

45 seconds in, first thing he got correct.

- So for me, that feels like a good cheat.

You can hear it sizzling.

- You hear sizzling? I hear my ancestors crying.

- It's fast, it's hot, it's furious.

We're just going to toss it around.

Right, the next--

- Oh, Uncle Roger don't like the look of this.

He taking ingredient from this drawer,

and this drawer looks so white,

because Asian ingredient never come in jar!

You ever noticed that?

Asian ingredient always come in plastic bag

or bad packaging.

If your packaging look this nice,

nice jar, nice bag over there,

that is not Asian ingredient.

- ...next ingredient.

I have this in my home all the time now.

Chili jam--

- What I tell you?

It's not Asian ingredient!

What he doing with chili jam?

Let's see.

- Brilliant for cooking.

It's got heat, but it's also got the sweetness,

and it's going to kind of glaze--

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Putting jam in rice?

(Uncle Roger sobs)

This is disgusting!

Who put jam--?

First of all, what is chili jam?

Uncle Roger know fresh chili, chili oil, chili flake.

Never heard of chili jam.

Is this how you trick white people to eating chili?

You give them fresh chili, they go,

"No, no, no. I don't actually like chili."

Give them chili jam, and they go,

"Oh!"

Chili jam is so weird thing to use.

Jamie, do you know about sriracha?

This is Asian chili. Just use this!

No need to use jam!

What are you going to put in there next, peanut butter?

Okay, what are you, going to make PB&J egg fried rice?

How many thing can a chef get wrong in one video?

Āi yā!

- Two nice teaspoons go in to our pan,

and then just start tossing again.

- He toss very po, but he toss all the wrong stuff.

All style, no substance.

- That'll start to coat every single rice grain,

and it will shine in the most beautiful way.

And then just give it a little splash of water.

- Wait, what?

What?

No!

(Uncle Roger sighs)

In the middle of cooking, you put water!

(Uncle Roger sighs)

Uncle Roger say if your rice too wet, you fucked up.

But if your rice too dry, you also fucked up.

- At this stage,

just push the rice up the side of the pan like that,

and then straight into the middle,

we're going to crack in two beautiful free-range eggs.

(egg cracks)

- Okay.

Okay. The egg look good, egg look good.

- Then it's time for the last ingredient,

which again, to a lot of pe--

- He reaching for that shelf again.

So, Uncle Roger don't think it's gonna end well.

Uncle Roger just don't like that shelf.

I think it's wrong shelf for egg fried rice.

Maybe during filming, they put the wrong shelf there,

and Jamie's like, "Oh shit!

You brought the wrong shelf. What I do now?"

And the filming people are like,

"We don't care. Just use whatever in the shelf."

- ...people is a bit of a new ingredient.

Tofu.

- To--! - Firm, silken tofu.

- Tofu!

Why your tofu in juice box?

Who make your tofu, Capri Sun?

When Uncle Roger buy tofu at Asian market,

always come in plastic bag, plastic-seal wrapping.

No tofu look like juice box!

What, are you gonna poke straw and drink your tofu?

- 50 grams.

And what you can do is just break this up.

- No! No!

- And as that cooks-- - No!

No!

(record scratches)

(in slow-motion) No!

He make Uncle Roger put my leg down from chair!

Breaking tofu like how Auntie Helen pick Uncle Roger!

Asian cooking, when you cook tofu,

you preserve the whole shape of tofu

and serve to customer.

This video, so many sad thing happening.

He waste the spring onion,

he wet the rice,

and now he tear apart the tofu like paper.

(rain pouring)

I don't know if Uncle Roger can go on.

This depression is too much.

- [Jamie] I want chunks of egg and I want little bits.

So, the nice thing about this stir-fried rice

is it's kind of random.

- What he say?

What he say?

- [Jamie] The nice thing about this stir-fried rice

is it's kind of random.

- Random is not compliment!

You make food for your friend one day and your friend say,

"Why your food so random?"

And Jamie say, "Oh my God, so random!

Gonna start restaurant!"

- Season with a little salt,

give it a little toss to--

- Salt, again, no MSG.

But Uncle Roger talk about MSG too many video now.

- Mix it all up, and then we're ready to serve.

Get a bowl.

Put a little oil.

- This guy love olive oil like how

Auntie Hersha love colander.

He put olive oil on everything.

Do you shower with olive oil also?

Don't go get massage from Jamie Oliver.

He will put olive oil on your body.

- ...nice dish is and that kind of street food,

which is beautiful.

It's often associated with being unhealthy.

This has been made to be healthy.

- If by healthy you mean disgusting,

then Jamie, you are right.

- ...you can have that as a meal.

I think it's the time to have a little--

- This rice look so wet.

Look at this.

You can see your reflection inside.

Mulan's gonna start singing when she see this rice.

- It's so silky and delicious.

Looks fantastic.

And it's really good fun to make.

(Uncle Roger sighs)

- Jamie is professional chef,

all the step he mess up.

Does this guy hate rice or something?

What else have he done with rice?

(keyboard typing)

- Oh.

This guy, I think he just hate rice in general.

Maybe he's sponsored by potato company.

They are competition.

Uncle Roger don't like this Jamie Oliver recipe.

Too wet,