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  • - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

  • Putting jam in rice.

  • (Uncle Roger sobs)

  • This is disgusting! Who put jam--

  • (beep)

  • Hello, niece and nephew.

  • It's Uncle Roger.

  • Today, Uncle Roger gonna react to this video,

  • requested by so many niece and nephew out there.

  • It's Jamie Oliver making egg fried rice.

  • Jamie Oliver is professional chef,

  • very established.

  • Everybody know him.

  • So, Uncle Roger think this one is gonna be good.

  • I've been to many of his restaurant.

  • Before we start video, niece and nephew,

  • please smack the like button now,

  • like you slap a bag of rice.

  • Don't make Uncle Roger sad.

  • Smack like button.

  • Now let's start the video.

  • - Egg fried rice. It's an absolute classic.

  • And I've got--

  • - Two second into video, and I already see sauce pan.

  • Āi yā!

  • Where your wok?

  • Jamie, where your wok?

  • Egg fried rice need to use wok,

  • because you need the wok hay.

  • Many people asking Uncle Roger, what is wok hay?

  • It is the breath of wok.

  • When you cook with wok, the wok give the food flavor.

  • Get the wok hay.

  • No such thing as "saucepan hay."

  • Jamie, you have 25 cookbook, but you can't afford one wok?

  • Uncle Roger send you one wok for free, Jamie.

  • No problem.

  • - I absolutely love making this recipe.

  • Yes, you could do this as a side dish, no trouble at all,

  • but actually it's heading towards being a really beautiful

  • dinner, so--

  • - Wait.

  • - Yes, you can do this as a side dish.

  • - Jamie say egg fried rice is side dish?

  • When Uncle Roger growing up,

  • when my mom make me egg fried rice, that is the main dish.

  • I never tell my mom,

  • "Oh mom, this egg fried rice is only side dish.

  • Where the main dish? Where the main dish?"

  • I would have been beaten to death.

  • - I finely slice this up,

  • and as this pan gets nice and hot,

  • I'm gonna go in with one tablespoon of olive oil--

  • - One tablespoon of... of what?

  • - I'm gonna go in with one tablespoon of olive oil--

  • - Olive oil for egg fried rice?

  • Who use olive oil for egg fried rice?

  • What, are you making salad?

  • Olive oil is like white-people oil.

  • Not suitable for Asian dishes like egg fried rice.

  • - And I'm gonna go straight in with the onions,

  • and we'll get them sizzlin' straight away.

  • - No, no, no, no, no.

  • Spring onion is garnish!

  • It's garnish!

  • You put spring onion as the last thing in your meal,

  • not the first thing in the frying pan!

  • Āi yā!

  • - We'll get them sizzlin' straight away.

  • - No, you don't sizzle spring onion!

  • Nobody sizzle spring onion!

  • If you cook spring onion now, it will wilt.

  • It wilt!

  • This should be garlic!

  • First step should be garlic!

  • (Uncle Roger sighs)

  • This first three step all wrong already.

  • I thought you professional chef!

  • You have website and everything!

  • Uncle Roger don't even have website,

  • and Uncle Roger know you fucked up.

  • - And then I've got some packet pre-cooked rice.

  • Yes, you can cook your--

  • - Packet?

  • This guy owns so many restaurant,

  • and he still can't be bothered to make his own rice!

  • Packet rice!

  • Imagine if you go to Japanese restaurant

  • and you ask for noodle,

  • and the chef gives you instant noodle.

  • That is what this guy is doing!

  • - ...own rice, white rice, 12 minutes,

  • but for stir-fried rice, you have to drain it

  • and chill it.

  • - Uh...

  • You have to chill it, he correct.

  • But drain? Don't drain rice.

  • Uncle Roger make a whole video,

  • 12 million view now,

  • of Auntie Hersha draining rice.

  • Don't drain rice.

  • But chill rice? Correct.

  • 45 seconds in, first thing he got correct.

  • - So for me, that feels like a good cheat.

  • You can hear it sizzling.

  • - You hear sizzling? I hear my ancestors crying.

  • - It's fast, it's hot, it's furious.

  • We're just going to toss it around.

  • Right, the next--

  • - Oh, Uncle Roger don't like the look of this.

  • He taking ingredient from this drawer,

  • and this drawer looks so white,

  • because Asian ingredient never come in jar!

  • You ever noticed that?

  • Asian ingredient always come in plastic bag

  • or bad packaging.

  • If your packaging look this nice,

  • nice jar, nice bag over there,

  • that is not Asian ingredient.

  • - ...next ingredient.

  • I have this in my home all the time now.

  • Chili jam--

  • - What I tell you?

  • It's not Asian ingredient!

  • What he doing with chili jam?

  • Let's see.

  • - Brilliant for cooking.

  • It's got heat, but it's also got the sweetness,

  • and it's going to kind of glaze--

  • - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

  • Putting jam in rice?

  • (Uncle Roger sobs)

  • This is disgusting!

  • Who put jam--?

  • First of all, what is chili jam?

  • Uncle Roger know fresh chili, chili oil, chili flake.

  • Never heard of chili jam.

  • Is this how you trick white people to eating chili?

  • You give them fresh chili, they go,

  • "No, no, no. I don't actually like chili."

  • Give them chili jam, and they go,

  • "Oh!"

  • Chili jam is so weird thing to use.

  • Jamie, do you know about sriracha?

  • This is Asian chili. Just use this!

  • No need to use jam!

  • What are you going to put in there next, peanut butter?

  • Okay, what are you, going to make PB&J egg fried rice?

  • How many thing can a chef get wrong in one video?

  • Āi yā!

  • - Two nice teaspoons go in to our pan,

  • and then just start tossing again.

  • - He toss very po, but he toss all the wrong stuff.

  • All style, no substance.

  • - That'll start to coat every single rice grain,

  • and it will shine in the most beautiful way.

  • And then just give it a little splash of water.

  • - Wait, what?

  • What?

  • No!

  • (Uncle Roger sighs)

  • In the middle of cooking, you put water!

  • (Uncle Roger sighs)

  • Uncle Roger say if your rice too wet, you fucked up.

  • But if your rice too dry, you also fucked up.

  • - At this stage,

  • just push the rice up the side of the pan like that,

  • and then straight into the middle,

  • we're going to crack in two beautiful free-range eggs.

  • (egg cracks)

  • - Okay.

  • Okay. The egg look good, egg look good.

  • - Then it's time for the last ingredient,

  • which again, to a lot of pe--

  • - He reaching for that shelf again.

  • So, Uncle Roger don't think it's gonna end well.

  • Uncle Roger just don't like that shelf.

  • I think it's wrong shelf for egg fried rice.

  • Maybe during filming, they put the wrong shelf there,

  • and Jamie's like, "Oh shit!

  • You brought the wrong shelf. What I do now?"

  • And the filming people are like,

  • "We don't care. Just use whatever in the shelf."

  • - ...people is a bit of a new ingredient.

  • Tofu.

  • - To--! - Firm, silken tofu.

  • - Tofu!

  • Why your tofu in juice box?

  • Who make your tofu, Capri Sun?

  • When Uncle Roger buy tofu at Asian market,

  • always come in plastic bag, plastic-seal wrapping.

  • No tofu look like juice box!

  • What, are you gonna poke straw and drink your tofu?

  • - 50 grams.

  • And what you can do is just break this up.

  • - No! No!

  • - And as that cooks-- - No!

  • No!

  • (record scratches)

  • (in slow-motion) No!

  • He make Uncle Roger put my leg down from chair!

  • Breaking tofu like how Auntie Helen pick Uncle Roger!

  • Asian cooking, when you cook tofu,

  • you preserve the whole shape of tofu

  • and serve to customer.

  • This video, so many sad thing happening.

  • He waste the spring onion,

  • he wet the rice,

  • and now he tear apart the tofu like paper.

  • (rain pouring)

  • I don't know if Uncle Roger can go on.

  • This depression is too much.

  • - [Jamie] I want chunks of egg and I want little bits.

  • So, the nice thing about this stir-fried rice

  • is it's kind of random.

  • - What he say?

  • What he say?

  • - [Jamie] The nice thing about this stir-fried rice

  • is it's kind of random.

  • - Random is not compliment!

  • You make food for your friend one day and your friend say,

  • "Why your food so random?"

  • And Jamie say, "Oh my God, so random!

  • Gonna start restaurant!"

  • - Season with a little salt,

  • give it a little toss to--

  • - Salt, again, no MSG.

  • But Uncle Roger talk about MSG too many video now.

  • - Mix it all up, and then we're ready to serve.

  • Get a bowl.

  • Put a little oil.

  • - This guy love olive oil like how

  • Auntie Hersha love colander.

  • He put olive oil on everything.

  • Do you shower with olive oil also?

  • Don't go get massage from Jamie Oliver.

  • He will put olive oil on your body.

  • - ...nice dish is and that kind of street food,

  • which is beautiful.

  • It's often associated with being unhealthy.

  • This has been made to be healthy.

  • - If by healthy you mean disgusting,

  • then Jamie, you are right.

  • - ...you can have that as a meal.

  • I think it's the time to have a little--

  • - This rice look so wet.

  • Look at this.

  • You can see your reflection inside.

  • Mulan's gonna start singing when she see this rice.

  • - It's so silky and delicious.

  • Looks fantastic.

  • And it's really good fun to make.

  • (Uncle Roger sighs)

  • - Jamie is professional chef,

  • all the step he mess up.

  • Does this guy hate rice or something?

  • What else have he done with rice?

  • (keyboard typing)

  • - Oh.

  • This guy, I think he just hate rice in general.

  • Maybe he's sponsored by potato company.

  • They are competition.

  • Uncle Roger don't like this Jamie Oliver recipe.

  • Too wet,