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  • Let me know if this sounds familiar: In a family gathering, your cousin asked you what

  • you do.

  • You respond with enthusiasm, “ I just got a job offer as a Social Media Assistant.”

  • you said.

  • Little did you know, instead of being happy for you, he replies "Oh, Social Media Assistant,

  • a job everyone can do right?

  • I guess not everyone can get an engineer position at a Fortune 500 company as I did."

  • And he keeps on talking about how awesome He is for hours non-stop until everyone around

  • him is bored to death.

  • Then you start wondering, why people do that?

  • Hi, I am Shao, Welcome to what people also ask, where I search something seemingly obvious on Google

  • and share with you some of its PAAs, aka People Also Ask, which is a feature telling you what

  • other people are searching on Google that relates to your query.

  • Today's keyword is bragging.

  • We will talk about why people brag, is it okay to brag, and most importantly, how to

  • deal with your bragging relative in a family gathering.

  • So let's start with our first PAA: Why do people brag?

  • The answer is extracted from an article titled"The Psychology of Bragging" published by Counselling

  • Connection, which is the official blog of the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors,

  • which is an organization providing education in counseling.

  • According to this article, when people shared information about themselves, the same areas

  • of the brain activated as those that light up when we are eating food or having sex!

  • By the way, This article did not do a very good job revealing the source of this information

  • but I believe they are referring to research published in Proceedings of the National Academy

  • of Sciences in 2012 titled "Disclosing information about the self is intrinsically rewarding"

  • So here you go, people are bragging because it feels good, not surprising at all.

  • But I think the real question here is why they don't know they are annoying while they

  • are doing so?

  • Irene Scopelliti, a behavioral scientist, and her colleagues at the City University

  • of London exploring this issue in a 2015 research published in the journal Psychological Science

  • where they asked subjects to provide a profile about themselves.

  • Profile writers were asked to rate how interesting they believed their profiles would appear

  • to others.

  • Profileraters” , on the other hand, then read the profiles and rated them on how interesting they were.

  • The findings showed that there was zero correlation between the profile providers' predictions

  • and how much the raters did like the profiles.

  • The profile writer significantly overpredicts how interesting their profiles are in the

  • eyes of others.

  • So your annoying relatives likely do not know how boring and annoying they are when they

  • are bragging, they might even be thinking they are sharing something very interesting

  • and you should appreciate it.

  • Isn't it scary?

  • Fortunately, this article also shared a lot of tips to stop them, I will put the link

  • in the description, but the following is my favorite: Boast about yourself, then self-correct,

  • as if suddenly realizing how bad it sounds.

  • Like: “Oh, excuse me; I guess I've been bragging, and it's probably better if we

  • don't do that; it only makes others feel bad”.

  • Braggers make people cringe, but you know what?

  • Those braggers are actually not as confident about themselves as they make it out to be.

  • Let's talk about our next PAA: Are people who brag a lot insecure?

  • The PAA answered by an article titled "4 Signs That Someone Is Insecure" published by Psychology

  • Today which is a media organization with a focus on psychology and human behavior.

  • In this article, the author Dr.Susan Whitbourne who is a Professor Emerita of Psychological

  • and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst points out that insecure people are

  • more likely to brag because:

  • 1.They are bragging to convince themselves that they really do have worth.

  • 2.They try to make you feel insecure yourself.

  • So they can project their insecurities onto you.

  • For those who don't know, Psychological projection is a common defense mechanism that involves

  • projecting undesirable feelings or emotions onto someone else, rather than admitting to

  • or dealing with the unwanted feelings yourself.

  • Obviously, you don't want to be one of those annoying people, but is bragging always bad?

  • Let's talk about our next PAA: Is bragging good or bad?

  • Answered by Wall Street Journal's article titled "When Is It OK to Brag?"

  • This article cited research published in Social Psychology in 2016.

  • The results found Braggarts are viewed as more competent but less moral than people

  • who remain humble, except if their bragging is unsubstantiated.

  • In that case, they are seen as not only less competent but also immoral.

  • People who don't brag, on the other hand, are seen as moral but incompetent.

  • The takeaway?

  • Ask yourself this question: 'In this situation do I care more about being seen as competent

  • or likable?

  • And do I have evidence to back up what I am about to brag if I chose to brag?'

  • If you're on a job interview, and you have all the real certifications, portfolios, and

  • real projects you have done, then of course you should brag a little bit.

  • But if you're on a date and you know the person you are dating values kindness, it is better

  • to be modest.

  • And never brag about something that is not real, because you will end up being perceived

  • as not only immoral but also incompetent.

  • Okay, so there are situations that you should/can brag and situations you shouldn't brag.

  • Let's talk about how to do each of them with our next two PAA, let's start with the first

  • one: How can we overcome show-off nature?

  • The answer to this question is extracted from an article titled "Showing off?

  • Why we do it & how to stop" published by Nathawat Brothers which a website providing self-improvement

  • advices.

  • According to this article, there is one situation that we shouldn't brag: when we are bragging

  • to make other people feel Jealous.

  • And the best way to stop doing it is to be conscious about yourself's bragging behavior

  • by asking yourself two questions whenever you think you might start to brag : Question

  • 1: Why are you doing it?

  • Question 2: Does it help you present yourself at best.

  • If the answer to these questions is: I am doing it to make other people feel bad or

  • Jealous.

  • Then you know you should't brag.

  • Okay, so the above is the advice when you think bragging might not be a good idea.

  • But as we have established, there are situations you should brag.

  • But how do you brag in a socially acceptable way?

  • The answer is extracted from an article titled "7 Ways To Talk About Your Accomplishments

  • Without Sounding Like A Braggart" published by Forbes written by Psychotherapist Amy Morin.

  • She provides 7 advices:

  • 1.Keep The Emphasis On Your Hard Work And avoid saying something like, “Oh that was easy,”

  • or “I barely tried,” because it sounds arrogant.

  • 2.Don't Belittle Other People

  • If you crossed the marathon finish line in the first place,

  • it's OK to say you were first.

  • But don't add that the second-place finisher was a mile behind you.

  • 3.Give Credit Where It's Due

  • Like one of my coworkers, whenever he accomplished something,

  • he always says " It's team's effort too."

  • 4.Stick To The Facts

  • Rather than saying, “I'm an excellent leader,” say, “Since last

  • month(which happened to be the time you took over the team), sales have doubled.”

  • and let themselves determine who made that happen.

  • 5.Express Gratitude

  • Like when you accomplished something at your company, you can say“I

  • am so grateful that the company gave me this opportunity,” alongside what you have accomplished.

  • 6.Don't Add A Qualifier

  • Saying, “I hate to brag, but…” doesn't excuse showing off.

  • In fact, it only draws attention to the fact you know what you're about to say maybe

  • a turn-off, but you're saying it anyway.

  • You should just say something like “I'm so excited to share my good news,”

  • or, “I'm happy to announce…” before you tout your accomplishment.

  • 7.Avoid The Humble-Bragging

  • For those who don't know, Humblebrag is a self-deprecating statement

  • with the actual intention of drawing attention to something you are proud of.

  • Never say, “I am so embarrassed I let my Lamborghini get this dirty”.

  • Because not only people know it's obviously bragging.

  • Studies show humble-bragging makes people sound insincere.

  • Today we learned that there are situations you should brag as well as the situations

  • you shouldn't.

  • Exessive braggers are usually insecure about themselves.

  • We also learned some tips to brag as well as some tips to not brag.

  • If you made it to the end of the video, chances are that you enjoy learning what people also

  • ask on Google.

  • But let's face it, reading PAA yourself will be a pain.

  • So here's the deal, I will do the reading for you and upload a video compiling some

  • fun PAAs once a week, all you have to do is to hit the subscribe button and the bell icon

  • so you won't miss any PAA report that I compile.

  • So just do it right now.

  • Bye!

Let me know if this sounds familiar: In a family gathering, your cousin asked you what

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B1 brag bragging article paa people published

Bragging: Why People Brag? Is Bragging Good or bad?How about humble bragging? How to stop doing it?

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    羅紹桀 posted on 2021/06/03
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