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  • Do you have a secret?

  • Something you've never told anyone

  • Think about how much of yourself you keep from other people

  • (I cheated on my husband during our honeymoon)

  • What you shared is just a tip of massive iceberg

  • and it's the same with everyone around you

  • So why do we see people who keep secrets from us as dishonest

  • (I love my daughter but I regret having her at 18)

  • When we don't see ourselves the same way

  • No matter how damaging

  • neuroscientists agree it's better to share your secrets

  • (I'm addicted to bad relationships.)

  • Your brain is naturally wired to tell the truth

  • When you keep a secret, your brain simulates how awful the reveal will be

  • (My girlfriend is transgender. Nobody knows but me.)

  • And floods with the rush of stress hormones

  • This affects your memory, your sleep and your ability to fight off disease

  • Studies have even shown that people with deep secrets

  • perceive hills as steeper than people without them

  • (My father doesn't know how scared I am of him)

  • The larger the secret, the steeper the hill

  • But once you divulge your secrets

  • you may find it's not as terrible as you thought

  • (I sometimes leave money on a gas pump for people to find.)

  • Holocaust victims with long buried memories showed incredible health

  • improvement when they started sharing their stories

  • And more they shared, the more their health improved.

  • The moment you reveal the secret

  • you loss a kind of power- a dark mysterious part of you is laid bare for others

  • Because now, they've seen the real you

  • (my biggest regret is not picking up my dad's call the night before he died.)

  • But maybe is not a lost at all

  • maybe that hill isn't so steep

  • maybe the only power you lost is

  • when your secret had over you know

  • (I don't think anyone is normal.)

  • So what's your secret?

Do you have a secret?

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