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  • But But this is real.

  • Real guitars are for old people.

  • Do you mind, sir?

  • We want to watch data.

  • Kyle play.

  • Welcome to watch Mojo.

  • And today we're counting down our picks for the top 10.

  • Worst things that happened to Randy Marsh on South Park.

  • What?

  • What?

  • Nothing.

  • Sorry, I just startled myself.

  • Oh, my God, They took my job.

  • Almost did it.

  • I almost made something of myself for this list.

  • We're looking at times when Randy has really been put through the wringer.

  • We won't be talking about the awful things he's done because that could fill up another list.

  • Did we leave out something that Randy suffered through?

  • Let us know in the comments.

  • Number 10.

  • Getting temporarily beaten by Bono in a Season 11 episode, Randy is given the honor of having the world's biggest bowel movement, as measured by the European Fecal Standards and Measurements Board.

  • Hey, look, Sharon, it's the president.

  • Hey, Sharon.

  • Just as he's about to receive his prize, U two's Bono chimes in with the news that he topped Randy's effort.

  • Bono feeling thoroughly defeated, Randy sits on his back porch and cries almost did it.

  • I almost made something of myself.

  • You know, when you get real close, if you start to think that maybe your life is gonna matter.

  • I mean, this was something I made.

  • Although it's an absolutely ridiculous situation.

  • We can't help but feel a little bad for Randy when we see him fall short after coming so close to success.

  • Can you believe him?

  • All this over?

  • What guy took the biggest crap?

  • You don't understand, Mom.

  • You just don't understand.

  • Thankfully, he's given a second chance and is able to claim the record he was straining for by the end of the episode, Number nine, attacked by ninjas and caged like a rabbit.

  • Can I ask a question?

  • Why do we do this?

  • What?

  • What do you mean?

  • Why do we do this?

  • It's Easter, right?

  • So why do we color eggs?

  • South Park decided to offer their own explanation as to how a bunny is connected to a Christian celebration about resurrection.

  • While the Marsh family is coloring eggs for the annual holiday, Stan asks his father what the religious connection is.

  • Unfortunately, such as the case with most South Park episodes, his curiosity causes his world to unravel.

  • Dad, we need to talk, Stan.

  • It's okay, guys.

  • Randy.

  • Yeah, because it turns out the kid we're after is my son.

  • After finding his dad wearing bunny accessories, Randy decides that it's time to tell his son the truth about Easter.

  • However, before Stan is able to find out what that truth is, Randy and other members of the Hair Club for men are ambushed by ninjas.

  • They found us protect snowball.

  • Mm.

  • Once captured, they're thrown in a cage by Bill Donohue.

  • Although we feel bad that he's stuck in a cage, you can't help but sympathize and laugh at Randy's predicament.

  • Nelson Nelson, Say something.

  • My legs.

  • I think they're broken.

  • Number eight Getting startled, Dad.

  • What?

  • Nothing.

  • Sorry, I just startled myself in this memorable two parter, South Park is overrun by the furry death.

  • While viewers at home see a bunch of adorable guinea pigs hilariously wandering the streets of the town.

  • Residents see them as terrifying monsters.

  • There's another one right there.

  • Oh, my God!

  • As chaos ensues, Randy insists on using his new video camera to tape anything and everything going on around him and his family.

  • Randy's shaky cam found footage, showcases how deeply startled.

  • He and his family really are.

  • Oh, God, oh God, Oh God, oh God, I'm so start.

  • In the end, we don't know what's worse.

  • Randy constantly getting startled or facing Sharon's wrath when she's had it with his shenanigans.

  • Randy, I have had it.

  • You are putting down that goddamn camera, Sharon.

  • You're gonna be really glad we have all this footage of the family someday.

  • Number seven.

  • Losing his job In 2000 and eight, Barack Obama was elected into the White House as the first African American president.

  • Yeah, Obama changed.

  • It's changed.

  • His composed demeanor seemed to give people hope for a post Bush era, and no one celebrated his win more than Randy Marsh in South Park.

  • Drunk off the notion of Obama's change campaign and a fair share of beers, Randy takes to the streets to celebrate.

  • He sings, dances, flips cop cars and tells his boss off.

  • But after sobering up, he learns he's been fired.

  • From there, Randy hops onto the blame Obama bandwagon, and his attitude shifts quickly.

  • Oh, goddamn it!

  • Obama said things would be different.

  • That son of a bitch lied to us.

  • Although it sucks to lose a job.

  • Randy should have seen it coming.

  • Cursing out your boss is never a great idea.

  • Sadly, this wasn't the first time Randy lost his job.

  • Oh, my God, They took my job.

  • Doctor Jab Number six Val Corns Demise In this episode, Warcraft is being taken over by a troll who seemingly has the ability to take anyone out at any time.

  • When Randy starts playing ASF Alcorn Stan doesn't want to be seen with his dad in game.

  • Hey, Stan, can I play with you guys?

  • Dad?

  • Yeah, I'm playing from the office, Dad, get off our team.

  • Speak line.

  • Ironically, he ends up being the key to ending the Troll.

  • It's fascinating to see how invested he gets into the online game, As Randy puts it in the outside world, I'm a simple geologist, but in here I am Fale Corn, defender of the Alliance.

  • So when Fale Corn is killed, it's a truly tragic moment for Randy.

  • But we also get a good laugh at his over the top demise.

  • Number five.

  • The perils of a boy band.

  • Randy Marsh was in a boy band in this Season four episode upon hearing that his son wants to start a similar style group with his friends.

  • Randy is adamant about keeping stand away from bands.

  • You are not going to be in a boy band, Stanley, and that is final.

  • After smashing a Cabinet in the living room, we learn about Randy's sad story and find out that he was a member of the Ghetto Avenue Boys Songs were terrible.

  • Believe it or not, the country ate them up.

  • The next thing I knew, you were the biggest thing in the world.

  • Girl, What you've got is it.

  • His story is a classic, triumphant rise to stardom that's followed by a tragic crash from fame.

  • His sad story reflects the fate of real life boy band groups.

  • Look, kid, you're just getting a little old to being a boy band.

  • I'm 19.

  • Get a Life Marsh.

  • It's a sobering illustration of the often unseen side of momentary fame number four being judged for his bathroom choice.

  • So let's get this straight.

  • Stan can't be in a boy band, but his dad is secretly an electro pop singer from New Zealand.

  • Stan in season eighteens, the Sissy South Park addressed the right for transgender people to use their bathroom of choice.

  • It turns out that by using the women's bathroom at work, Randy was inspired to write songs and eventually become the singer Lord, Have you ever been in a woman's bathroom stand?

  • It's all clean, and there's enough stalls for everyone.

  • It was so free.

  • When Randy, as Lord, is asked by his boss to use a special executive bathroom instead of the women's, the show drives home the central theme.

  • Randy feels truly saddened that he can't use the bathroom he feels most comfortable in without judgment.

  • My girls are big fans of your music, Lord, but the women here aren't comfortable sharing a bathroom with With what?

  • It's a carefully crafted moment that draws parallels to real life struggles.

  • Transgender people experience far too often.

  • Number three getting beat up and arrested at Little League games, arresting me for what?

  • I'm not allowed to stand up for myself.

  • I thought this was America, huh?

  • Isn't this America?

  • I'm sorry.

  • I thought this was America.

  • A quick search on Google will show you that getting arrested at a Little League game happens more often than you'd think.

  • But on South Park, Randy has taken the art of being dragged away by police to a whole new level.

  • I'm sorry.

  • I thought I was gonna 1000 America.

  • I'm sorry.

  • Over the course of this season nine episode, Randy is arrested time and time again for fighting at Little League games.

  • Jesus.

  • Not again.

  • Ironically, his boys are trying to do their best to lose every game they play.

  • Seeing as Randy has gone so far as to train for these bleacher brawls, we want to just shake our heads, knowing that poor Stan's dad will never learn.

  • However, it's somewhat odd yet totally hilarious, seeing him get arrested for something he's weirdly passionate about.

  • I worked hard, believed in myself, and now I'm gonna be fighting in the state championship game.

  • This is going to be the biggest fight of my life.

  • Number two.

  • The tides of change.

  • What does our son turning?

  • 10 have to do with you making the same mistakes again and again because I'm unhappy.

  • Okay, In the middle of season 15, South Park aired one of its most self aware episodes ever.

  • After turning 10 scans, world seems to fall apart while his father comes to grips with how unhappy he's become with Fleetwood Mac's landslide playing, We see Randy break the news to his son that he and Sharon are splitting.

  • Oh, mirror.

  • As Randy drives away, he glances in the rear view mirror and sees the road behind him.

  • It's a simple visual that illustrates the inevitability of change for both Randy and the show itself.

  • Fortunately, at the end of the following episode, Randy gets back with Sharon and everything goes back to normal.

  • Dad, Dad, getting the cars down.

  • Your mom and I are moving back in together.

  • What?

  • We worked it out, pal.

  • Surprise.

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  • Number one.

  • Worst Security Guard shift ever.

  • It's almost black Friday in South Park, and Randy has taken a job as a mall security guard.

  • Nobody else has thought of it.

  • Sharon.

  • I won't even be out in the crowd.

  • I'll be on the inside when the doors open while everyone is trying to run over each other.

  • I'll turn around and run right into the stores.

  • I'll be the first to get whatever I want, although we just hope to beat the big crowds to the sales, Randy isn't prepared for what these crazed shoppers are willing to do.

  • While attempting to pass out wristbands to everyone waiting in line, Brandy is attacked by a crowd of eager shoppers.

  • Oh God, oh, God, bag back, all of you!

  • He's swarmed by so many people that he can't even get to his feet.

  • And to make matters worse, Randy has to watch as a co worker meets his end right in front of him.

  • No, you can't die.

  • Everybody really likes you.

  • Randy's harrowing experience is a brutal critique of how badly shoppers have behaved during real black Friday events.

  • Do you agree with our picks?

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But But this is real.

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