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  • Yeah.

  • Oh, what's-- What's that?

  • This is a picture of my vagina

  • after my hysterectomy.

  • Okay.

  • This is what happens when you get old.

  • Good thing is that you still young.

  • And more important, your vagina's still young.

  • Right.

  • You have your whole life ahead of you.

  • I know you will live special life.

  • (plastic crinkling, dramatic music playing)

  • (plastic crinkling, dramatic music playing)

  • Oh, I got something stuck to my teeth.

  • (dramatic music continues)

  • (scratching)

  • You know what? It is, Grandma.

  • I-- I-- You know what?

  • I can't live a special life...

  • here, right?

  • I think-- I think I need to move out.

  • Well, then move out.

  • Yeah.

  • You don't wanna end up like Esther Wong,

  • sleeping in the same room as her 89-year-old parents.

  • Jesus.

  • It's like a Chinese version

  • of "Willy Wonka."

  • Right.

  • She's starting her own career.

  • Oh, yeah? How's that going?

  • It's going super dope, super dope, super dope.

  • Uh, got temporarily fired from Commutez.

  • Yeah.

  • What? Where does this Commutez live?

  • I'm gonna eat her ass.

  • Grandma, it's "beat" her ass.

  • Yeah.

  • Hey.

  • Maybe Edmund can get you a job. Huh?

  • What do you say, bro?

  • Uh, well, Uncle Wally,

  • it's kinda hard to get a job in tech.

  • Most of my colleagues went to Ivy League schools.

  • Most have advanced degrees.

  • And Nora has a certificate from ITT Tech?

  • Oh, she loves computers.

  • Maybe she work for Apple store.

  • Yeah, more like the Microsoft store.

  • (laughing)

  • Bill Gates sucks.

  • Yeah.

  • You know, actually, Edmund, I just got offered

  • a really cool job in tech.

  • Really cool, solid pay, good benefits, yeah.

  • What?

  • I get Delta Dental.

  • Really?

  • Yeah.

  • Oh, you see? My girl got special job.

  • Thanks, Grandma.

  • Yeah.

  • I asked the hairdresser,

  • I said I wanted to look like Eminem.

  • You succeeded. It looks awesome.

  • Thank you.

  • You want to go to Atlantic City with me today?

  • We have an extra ticket

  • because my friend Shu Shu

  • got hit by a Citibike.

  • Oh, no.

  • Oh, shattered her pelvis.

  • It's multiple fragments,

  • some of them as small as a mouse tooth.

  • Jesus.

  • Anyway, we don't want

  • to let her bus ticket go to waste.

  • Wanna go?

  • You know, I--

  • I have a lot of things to be doing today.

  • And I'm just gonna tie up some bells and whistles

  • and some mends and looses and things like that...

  • Okay, I understand.

  • It's just that Shu Shu,

  • my best best friend from way back,

  • do you know what she says?

  • "I wish I had a granddaughter like yours.

  • "She's so well-behaved and so beautiful.

  • And she always does everything for her grandmother."

  • And now she is paralyzed from the waist down

  • and up and all around.

  • And she could really use some good news,

  • like her bus ticket not going to waste.

  • Because it's such a shame to waste money.

  • (sighs) But Grandma understands.

  • (sobbing)

  • Oh, Shu Shu...

  • All right, Grandma, I'll go with you

  • to Atlantic City!

  • Okay, see you downstairs.

  • And don't embarrass me.

  • Just let us use the outlet.

  • Maybe you all should just read a book.

  • Then you won't need an outlet.

  • Don't talk to us Chinese about books, bitch.

  • We invented paper.

  • Don't talk to Koreans about charging, bitch.

  • We invented Samsung.

  • Then where are all the Galaxies?

  • All I see are iPhones.

  • (speaking Korean)

  • That's what I thought.

  • (speaking Korean)

  • What do you think you're doing?

  • What I shoulda done this morning!

  • Don't you have a floor to spit on somewhere?

  • Ah, don't mess with me.

  • I will cut you and I will bite you.

  • Chinese teeth are harder than Korean teeth.

  • Really?

  • Yeah.

  • (overlapping shouting)

  • Kimchi bitches!

  • (overlapping shouting)

  • We both got Marcia Clarks!

  • Oh, Ma.

  • (laughing)

  • that Nancy Hong is looking for an office assistant

  • at her real estate firm.

  • You're on Weibo?

  • Well, yeah!

  • Weibo, American Twitter, Reddit, Xanga.

  • I got a lot to say.

  • (sighs, whispering) Dad, can you call Nancy, please? Please?

  • I gotta get my car out of jail, Dad.

  • All right, fine, fine. I'll see what I can do.

  • (alert chimes)

  • Whoa...

  • Taye Diggs is following me.

  • He's hot.

  • Wasn't he married to Adele...

  • Idina Menzel.

  • Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Adele...

  • Idina Menzel!

  • You think this is nice for our dinner?

  • It's my funeral outfit.

  • Your funeral outfit is... hot.

  • ♪ I bump it with a trumpet

  • Bump, bump, bump

  • What about your car?

  • Oh. It's out gettin' cleaned,

  • 'cause I gotta make it nice, right?

  • Because I'm taking you out to

  • the nicest restaurant in the city.

  • Okay. To...

  • (both shouting in Chinese)

  • (both chuckling)

  • Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! ♪

  • Get up Everybody get up

  • ♪♪

  • Hello.

  • Hi .

  • Remember me?

  • Um, I would like to reopen my bank account, please.

  • As you will find here, I have my birth certificate.

  • Yes, I was born.

  • Great.

  • Social security card, right?

  • There ya go. All right.

  • Yeah.

  • Me in elementary school as a baby.

  • I went to school when I was a baby.

  • Huh.

  • Yeah.

  • Actually, we're good with the IDs.

  • And, uh, this check here,

  • that I would love to cash after I reopen my account.

  • Thank you very much.

  • I'm a very important customer here.

  • Don't mess with me. I know people.

  • I'll-- I'll get that taken care of right away, Mrs. Lin.

  • Yeah.

  • (keyboard clacking)

  • Whoa, Grandma, that was-- you're intense.

  • (computer beeps)

  • Uh, Miss Lin.

  • Your account has been reactivated

  • and the check has been deposited.

  • Cool.

  • And, because you're technically opening a new account,

  • I can offer you a $25 signing bonus.

  • I would love that. Thank you.

  • Uh, would you like it deposited into the account?

  • In cash, please!

  • Because I would like to use it

  • to take my grandma to dinner.

  • Oh, Nora. You don't have to.

  • I want to.

  • Here you go.

  • I want crispy bills for my granddaughter,

  • None of that wrinkly shit that you pull out of your asshole.

  • (chuckles) Okay.

  • (sweetly) Pleasure doing business with you.

  • You too, Mrs. Lin. Always a pleasure.

  • Bye.

  • It's obvious.

  • He needs to bury the snake in the bush.

  • Yeah, exactly.

  • He needs to take his baggage

  • and he needs to just bury it in his past.

  • Oh, no, no. I meant throw a log in the fire.

  • Park the bus in tuna town.

  • Play mattress Macarena.

  • Okay.

  • Get it?

  • I have to go, Grandma. I'm gonna go.

  • Ay, Macarena

  • Hey, come out to Provo, Utah.

  • And then we can do a cleanse.

  • Grandma's definitely gonna eat it.

  • All right.

  • Bye, I miss ya already.

  • Bye.

  • Are you gonna eat that?

  • Hey. Put it in the garbage.

  • Anyway, do you like the dumplings, Grandma?

  • Oh, yes, they're very tasty.

  • I'm so proud of you.

  • Oh, my two dumplings!

  • (whispering) Just blink if you love me more.

  • It's okay. He's not looking.

  • I'm right here.

  • Oh, no, I can't do that.

  • ♪♪

  • (bell dings)

  • (phone beeping)

  • (Grandma's voice) Winking rabbit giving a thumbs-up sign.

  • Yeah!

  • Ma?

  • Is this rehab?

  • Oh, I knew you were on drugs.

  • What is it?

  • Meth, shrooms...?

  • No. Ma!

  • Ice horse?

  • Ma.

  • Crack dabs?

  • If you say opium...

  • What?

  • ...I will slap the yellow out of you.

  • Ma! What are you doing here?

  • I'm glad that you're getting help

  • from all these other losers.

  • But why didn't you come to me first?

  • Ma... this isn't rehab.

  • It's a support group for single parents!

  • Oh, but you have that weird spoon.

  • And the other night with all that screaming.

  • I was on a date, okay?

  • With Brenda!

  • I thought we weren't allowed to date in the group.

  • Oh, Toby... no.

  • Ma, Brenda gave me the spoon.

  • And it's not a spoon, all right?

  • It's a deep and meaningful art piece

  • about self-expression and quiet chaos!

  • Yes, thank you.

  • You're welcome.

  • So you're not on drugs?

  • No.

  • And I didn't tell you about the date

  • because I knew you would go crazy.

  • I'm not going crazy!

  • Hello.

  • Hi.

  • Are you divorced or is your husband dead?

  • Uh...

  • Oh, my God!

  • because my son is on drugs!

  • (sobbing hysterically)

  • Even though you're gone,

  • it still smells like weed in here.

  • Ugh.

  • (sighs, breathing deeply)

  • (screaming)

  • Oh... you're hurt.

  • Oh, oh, oh. Oh...

  • You'll be okay. I'll take care of you.

  • I'm Grandma.

  • I'm gonna name you...

  • Boris.

  • This soup will help you heal.

  • Hey, Ma?

  • Have you seen my phone? I can--

  • What the fuck is that?

  • It's a pigeon.

  • Why is there a pigeon in the house?

  • Oh, Wally, calm down.

  • He came in hurt through the window.

  • I'm nursing him back to health.

  • Ma, that's a fucking flying rat.

  • God, what's wrong with you?

  • Vermin or not, he needs help.

  • Whatever, Ma.

  • I'm gonna go spend the night at Brenda's.

  • Oh, don't listen to him, Boris.

  • You are beautiful, no matter what they say.

  • Words can't get you down.

Yeah.

Subtitles and vocabulary

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B1 shu nora lin brenda bump account

Nora’s Grandma is the G.O.A.T. - Awkwafina is Nora from Queens

  • 88 2
    林宜悉 posted on 2021/02/17
Video vocabulary

Keywords

mess

US /mɛs/

UK /mes/

  • other
  • A place where members of a military unit, college, or other group eat meals together.
  • A quantity of food, especially a soft or semi-liquid one.
  • noun
  • Something that is untidy, dirty or unclean
  • verb
  • To make something untidy or dirty
  • other
  • A dirty or untidy state of things or place.
  • other
  • A difficult or confused situation.
outfit

US /ˈaʊtˌfɪt/

UK /'aʊtfɪt/

  • noun
  • A set of clothing (with accessories)
  • verb
  • To provide with clothing and other things
dramatic

US /drəˈmætɪk/

UK /drəˈmætɪk/

  • adjective
  • Gripping the attention; causing an effect
  • (Of an event) sudden and extreme
  • Exaggerated and theatrical in manner.
  • Sudden and striking; sensational.
  • Relating to drama or the performance or study of drama.
account

US /əˈkaʊnt/

UK /ə'kaʊnt/

  • noun
  • A record of financial transactions.
  • An advantage
  • Arrangement with a bank to keep your money for you
  • An invoice for things bought
  • A business client.
  • Arrangement whereby you can use online services
  • A customer having a business relationship with a firm.
  • A description, often written, of events; report
  • A reason or explanation for something.
  • An arrangement with a bank to keep your money there.
  • Importance or significance.
  • An arrangement that allows you to use a website or online service.
  • A reason; consideration.
  • A record of financial transactions.
  • A spoken or written description of an event.
  • other
  • To give a satisfactory explanation for something.
  • other
  • Importance; consequence.
  • other
  • Because of.
pleasure

US /ˈplɛʒɚ/

UK /'pleʒə(r)/

  • noun
  • Feeling of happiness, enjoyment, or satisfaction
  • Sensual gratification; indulgence in one's desires.
  • A thing that causes enjoyment or delight.
  • A person's will or desire; preference.
  • other
  • A feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment.
  • other
  • To give someone pleasure or satisfaction.
wanna

US /ˈwɑnə/

UK /'wɒnə/

  • verb
  • Shortened form of 'want to'. Used only in speaking
certificate

US /sərˈtɪfɪkət/

UK /səˈtɪfɪkət/

  • noun
  • Official paper accepted as proof of something
bury

US /ˈbɛri/

UK /'berɪ/

  • verb
  • To put something into the ground and cover it
bump

US /bʌmp/

UK /bʌmp/

  • verb
  • To bounce along over a rough surface
  • To knock against with force or violence
  • To move someone to a different group, time or area
  • noun
  • Act or sound of one solid object hitting another
  • Raised area on any smooth surface
plastic

US /ˈplæstɪk/

UK /'plæstɪk/

  • adjective
  • Being easily formed or shaped
  • noun
  • Stiff but usually flexible man-made material