right here for ya, Blake Henderson.

Champion of the ramp.

- What's up, brajettes?

Very gnar to meet you.

♪ We gotta, we gotta, we gotta ♪

♪ Gotta be fresh ♪

- You guys ready to get weird tonight, or what?

- Fur sure.

- Oh ho, lookin' straight grizzly.

- Bitch better have my honey!

- Oh, ooh, bear puns, I like those.

- Dude, I can't believe

you spent your entire paycheck on that jacket.

- Well, I didn't spend my entire paycheck.

I made 350, and Karl gave me a deal on the coat.

345!

- [Adam] That's good, that's a good deal.

- So you saved five bucks.

Way to go.

- Well, I invested my savings in a little bottle of Ipecac.

It's the stuff that makes you barf?

- Smart move.

- Basically a get out of work free pass.

♪ Gotta be fresh ♪

- Hey, buddy.

I couldn't help but overhear you

being a little nervous Nelly Furtado.

- Yeah, I guess. - You need a friend?

- Oh nah, meh, no, don't do it.

- Blake, try it once, man.

Look at me, man.

I got it all figured out, buddy.

- Did it cause your eye to do that, or?

- No, I was born with that.

- Oh okay, then yeah, I'll give it a shot.

I wish this was real.

(both laughing)

- He would've murdered her.

- Hey, it's Blake right?

- Who the (bleep) is this?

- I saw you on campus earlier, and I've gotta say,

pretty convincing French police officer.

- Thank you.

- How'd you like to be the understudy of Javert

in this year's production of "Les Mis?"

- Understudy?

How 'bout you study under my nutsack.

- [Karl] Oh!

- Right under there.

- There it is. - There it is.

- Sorry, is that a no?

- Fritz, life is a stage!

- Correct.

- Smoke weed until you die.

- That's right, that's right.

- Now why don't you go direct yourself over

to the Snack Shack and get daddy some Airheads?

- Bounce, man.

- Okay I will bounce, thank you, bye.

- That was good, man.

Acting's for chicks anyways.

♪ Gotta be fresh ♪

- [Blake] Come on, I wanna show you something, come on.

Jesus, are you kidding me, come on!

- Guys?

I'm sorry, but you can't be in here.

We've got rehearsal in about five minutes.

- And I need but four, okay?

This is Mr. Buckley, Rancho Cucamonga acting legend,

have you heard of him?

- No.

- Well, we would like to perform a scene from his play,

which I'm sure you've heard of, MacBreath.

- Fine. - Excellent.

(Blake laughs)

- What are you doing?

- All right everybody, I will be playing the role of Angela,

and he shall be playing the role of MacBreath, our hero.

Our scene starts in a crowded bus.

Angela enters.

Excuse me?

Pardon me.

- Blake, I can't do this.

- Oh, excuse me, pardon me.

- I can't do this without drugs.

- Excuse me!

Excuse me!

- Here, take my seat.

- Oh you are too kind.

I'm Angela.

- I'm Leonard, Angela,

but everyone calls me MacBreath.

- MacBreath?

- In seventh grade, we played spin the bottle,

and it landed on Jen DiAngelo.

We kissed, and then she told me my breath

smelled like McDonald's cheeseburgers.

Then she got everyone to chant,

"MacBreath, MacBreath, MacBreath!"

I curse you, Jen DiAngelo!

I curse you with all the venom of my heart!

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!

(chair clatters)

- Well, I like cheeseburgers!

And I think the name MacBreath is cool!

- You do?

- Let me smell your breath, MacBreath.

- If you must.

(exhales deeply)

- Mm.

I'm loving it.

♪ Gotta be fresh ♪

- Do we have anyone else reading for Hamlet?

- One more!

- Get on with it. - Thanks.

Okay before I start, this boomerang has like knife edges.

Back off, easy.

(Blake choking)

(Blake grunting)

(Blake screaming)

Back up!

All right?

I'm not from here!

I'm from a goddamn prison colony,

so unless you want a little bit of what he just got--

- I'm sorry, what scene are you doing?

- This is from "Crocodile Dundee IV: The New Class."

It's an original script.

- And are you even a student here?

- Not technically sir, no.

But, I will do anything to be a star.

- You are a very bad actor,

and we would never use you in a production.

♪ Gotta be fresh ♪

- Hello, and welcome!

(all clapping)

I am the resident magician, Magic Blake,

and this is my beautiful assistant, Magic Karl.

We start off with a card trick.

You sir, what's your name?

Let me guess, Waymond.

How'd I know?

Go ahead and pick a card, Waymond.

Okay, what is the card?

Don't tell me.

Actually, don't you ever tell me, all right?

Put it back in the deck.

Anywhere in the deck.

Now, Magic Karl's gonna go to the other side of the stage,

and I'm gonna go to the other other side of the stage,

and visualize the card.

Oh now please, please make sure that my assistant,

Magic Karl, is placing that deck very, very far away.

Distract 'em, distract 'em.

Okay, so I'm just visualizing.

Nothing to see really over here,

it's just me thinking, visualizing, boring.

(crowd gasping) Okay.

And what did, okay, whoa!

Okay, whoa.

What are you doing, what are you do, what are you doing?

- I'm just doing what feels right.

- Okay, okay. - Okay?

- This is not right, please put your penis away, Karl.

- Fine, god, fine! - This is a family show.

- [Karl] There's no kids here, is there?

- Well, I'm just saying we need to have that option.

All right, stop.

And I visualized this.

Queen of hearts, what do you say, Waymond?

Is that your card?

No?

Okay, there had to be a mixup somewhere--

- Hiyah!

This is my show now, baby.

They wanna see my dick!

- Helicopter your wang!

- You got it, buddy.

That's what I wanna do!