Name: 【TEDx】Honest liars -- the psychology of self-deception: Cortney Warren at TEDxUNLV
Uploaded: 2014-06-14T17:18:13.000Z
Duration: 13 min 48 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

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We fool ourselves into believing things that are false

and we refuse to believe things that are true.

when I really started delving into the topic of self-deception.

We lie to ourselves about the smallest details,

and why we didn't list our actual height and weight

We lie to reflect our aspirational goals:

"I'll only have one glass of wine tonight," --

when I know I'm drinking  at least three. (Laughter)

"I never have sexual thoughts with anyone except my spouse,"

We lie about our most important life choices,

such as why we married who we did, or chose our given career path.

Unfortunately, for all the romantics out there,

love is rarely the full motivation  for those choices.

Nowhere was self-deception more obvious than in my romantic relationships.

My fear of abandonment  led me to act in ways

driving to see if he was where he said he would be,

At the time, I couldn't have told you any of that,

because I wouldn't have been able to admit it to myself.

because we don't have enough physiological strength to admit the truth

and deal with the consequences that will follow.

That said, understanding our self-deception

is the most effective way to live a fulfilling life.

It's hard to look at this photo and think,

But our self-deceptive tendencies start here.

and making conclusions about ourselves and our environment.

Right or wrong, the conclusions we made affected our identity.

As adults, we will most want to lie about

how physiologically painful realities experienced as children

Perhaps you were raised in a single parent home,

in which you were neglected by your father.

You learned that  something was wrong with you --

you weren't smart enough, attractive enough, athletic enough.

You concluded that to make people love you,

when someone points out your imperfections,

you feel tremendous anxiety but deny where it comes from.

Perhaps you felt ugly as a child because  you were teased for your appearance.

You learned to eat in response to emotional pain.

As an adult, you struggle to maintain a stable weight,

because your eating has very little to do with hunger.

Now, you struggle to admit even feeling negative emotion.

Although each of our specific  childhood learnings will be unique,

what we learned will be exemplified in the lies we tell ourselves as adults.

Psychological theories of human nature can help us understand our self-deception.

Sigmund Freud first described lying through ego-defense mechanisms:

Psychological strategies that protect our egos

Refusing to believe that something is true,

"I don't have a problem with alcohol," --

even though I secretly check my partner's email.

"I wouldn't have yelled at you if you hadn't treated me so unfairly,"

"I know that smoking isn't good for my health,

Taking an undesirable aspect of ourselves and ascribing it to someone else.

When dating someone you've lost interest in,

"You're not ready for this relationship,"

when, in fact, you're not ready for this relationship

Pioneers in the  cognitive-behavioral realms

through cognitive distortions -- irrational ways we think.

Polarized Thinking: Thinking in extremes.

“I will either eat no cookies or an entire box,

Subtitles ListPlay Video

【TEDx】Honest liars -- the psychology of self-deception: Cortney Warren at TEDxUNLV

life

emotional

psychological

feel