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  • There is a memory that used to haunt me in the past.

  • See - when I was 13 years old – a group of my classmates, about 10 kids (half boys and half girls), were hanging out after school with a pineapple.

  • We were pretty excited because we were going to eat the pineapple together.

  • For some reason a gang of kids from the neighboring school decided to gather in our playground and start some trouble.

  • Their group was much much larger than ours.

  • Maybe 20 or 30 people.

  • And when they came up to us and started talking smack, all of the girls ran and hid in the jungle gym.

  • And I followed suit and hid with them.

  • While the rest of the boys stood up to the gang.

  • Luckily nothing serious happened, no punches were thrown, but the pineapple that we had that day was smacked onto the floor and ruined.

  • The other gang eventually left and we regrouped together to figure out what had just happened.

  • The other boys asked me where I was during the showdownto which one of the girls responded, he was hiding with us in the playground.

  • The boys didn't say muchthey were more upset about the fact that our pineapple was ruined.

  • - but I could tell that I had lost respect in their eyes.

  • This was a memory that stuck with me for years down the line.

  • Even though the others probably forgot about what I did that day.

  • I still couldn't shake off the fact that I acted like such a coward in such a crucial moment.

  • When it really mattered.

  • This memory became something that would haunt me.

  • It would often surface every couple of months when I was in bed and cause me to relive the experience and the shame that came with it.

  • I simply could not forgive myself for what I had done that day.

  • Even though it was something that happened to me more than 3, 4, and even 5 years ago.

  • All of this finally stopped one day when I was in my early 20's working as a door to door salesman.

  • I was walking to my territory with my boss when I heard a woman scream.

  • I turned around and saw a man sprinting at full speed with a purse in his hands.

  • This was a scene straight out of a movie.

  • I don't know why, but my body instantly started to move.

  • I handed my bag to my boss and I starting chasing after this guy at full speed.

  • I eventually caught up to the thief, and by a stroke of pure luck, I managed to trip him.

  • He dropped the purse, ran away, and I returned it to the lady.

  • After this moment, I never thought about the pineapple incident in middle school again.

  • To be honest I had forgotten about it completely.

  • This memory only came up recently when I was trying to think of an example for this video.

  • And that's when I realized that the key to forgiving yourself is to have a redemption arc.

  • See we humans have a built in desire to make things even.

  • In the day to day worldthere is the concept of justice.

  • When someone commits a crime, we attempt to give them a punishment of equal proportions.

  • An eye for an eye.

  • This seems to balance the scales and it usually gives us a strange sense of peace.

  • It allows us to move on and forgive people for what they have done.

  • And the same thing applies when it comes to forgiving yourself.

  • If you have a shameful memory that's been haunting you, you must find a way to balance it out in order to move on.

  • You must do something that counteracts the wrong.

  • You must embark on a redemption arc.

  • You must go on a journey where you grow stronger, so that you can eventually fix the wrong with a right.

  • For example: If you are haunted by embarrassing or awkward moments that you had in the past with others.

  • Then you must embark on a journey to hone your social skills so that you can eventually have a moment where you do well.

  • Where you have people laughing and having a great time while hanging out with you.

  • Where people tell you, damn – I wish I could be as charismatic as you.

  • Once that happensthen you will have redeemed yourself and the embarrassing memories will all become a thing of the past.

  • If you are haunted by a time where you lost some of your families money when they needed it the most.

  • Then you must embark on a journey and work hard to make back the money so that you can return it to them.

  • When that happens you will be able to forgive yourself

  • If you are haunted by a time where you did not stand up for yourself when someone clearly crossed a line.

  • You must embark on a journey to become stronger physically and mentally so that the next time this happens you can call them out and set boundaries.

  • When that day comes, you will be able to forgive yourself.

  • If you are haunted by times where you let opportunities slip by you because of procrastination then you must embark on a journey to take action.

  • You must commit to the next opportunity that you see and get the work done and succeed.

  • Only then will you be able to forgive yourself.

  • We humans have a built in desire to see things balance out.

  • That's why when someone commits a crime, we feel a strong urge to punish them with something of equal or more severe proportions.

  • Only then do we feel at peace.

  • The same thing applies for any quote unquote crimes you feel like you've committed in your own life.

  • They might be significantly less severe than real crimesbut you still feel like you did something wrong.

  • Which is why you must embark on a redemption arc to right the wrong in order to find peace.

  • In the meantime - if you have a moment that currently haunts youcausing you to have a hard time falling asleep, here's a suggestion, you can listen to documentaries while in bed.

  • I do this pretty often and it always works like a charm.

  • Which is why this episode was brought to you with the help of the guys at Curiosity stream.

  • Curiosity Stream is like the documentary version of netflix.

  • They have thousands of streamable documentaries and non-fiction tv shows on topics like history, nature, science, food, travel, and much much more.

  • By looking at their selection you should find yourself naturally being pulled in a particular direction.

  • Certain subjects interesting you more than others.

  • And this should give you a good idea of where your passions might lie.

  • It'll also helps you sleep at night.

  • Go to www.curiousitystream.com/pill to sign up for just 14.99$ for the entire year.

  • That's right it's not 14.99$ per month, it's 14.99$ for the entire year.

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  • I highly recommend you to check them outas a lot of their content will help you grow as a person which will make it easier for you to redeem yourself down the line!

  • Besides that guys stay tuned.

There is a memory that used to haunt me in the past.

Subtitles and vocabulary

B1 US embark pineapple forgive haunted memory journey

How To FORGIVE Yourself For Past Mistakes

  • 811 61
    Miho Ishii posted on 2020/12/18
Video vocabulary

Keywords

crucial

US /ˈkruʃəl/

UK /'kru:ʃl/

  • adjective
  • Extremely important or necessary
  • Extremely important or necessary; decisive or critical.
  • Difficult and very important
  • Of great importance to the success of something.
  • Extremely important or necessary; decisive.
  • Involving an extremely important decision or result.
eventually

US /ɪˈvɛntʃuəli/

UK /ɪˈventʃuəli/

  • adverb
  • After a long time; after many attempts; in the end
  • After a series of events or difficulties.
  • At some later time; in the future
  • In the end, especially after a long delay or difficulty
matter

US /ˈmætɚ/

UK /'mætə(r)/

  • verb
  • To be of great importance; to count
  • noun
  • Material all things are made of that fills space
  • Problem or reason for concern
journey

US /ˈdʒɚni/

UK /'dʒɜ:nɪ/

  • noun
  • Act of traveling from one place to another; trip
  • verb
  • To travel through a place
urge

US /ɚdʒ/

UK /ɜ:dʒ/

  • noun
  • A strong desire for something
  • Strong pressure on someone to do something
  • verb
  • To drive something forward
  • To ask or encourage someone to do something
  • other
  • To strongly encourage or persuade someone to do something.
severe

US /səˈvɪr/

UK /sɪ'vɪə(r)/

  • adjective
  • Very bad; harsh
  • (Of clothes, etc.) plain; simple; not decorated
procrastination

US /proʊˌkræstɪ'neɪʃn/

UK /prəʊˌkræstɪ'neɪʃn/

  • noun
  • Act of putting off something you ought to do
ruin

US /ˈruɪn/

UK /'ru:ɪn/

  • other
  • To cause great and irreparable damage or harm to (someone or something).
  • verb
  • To damage or completely destroy something
  • To cause someone to lose their money or status
  • noun
  • The state of being destroyed or severely damaged.
  • Complete failure or collapse, especially financial.
  • Remains of a building that has been destroyed
attempt

US /əˈtɛmpt/

UK /ə'tempt/

  • noun
  • Effort made to try to do or accomplish something
  • verb
  • To try to do something challenging or difficult
commit

US /kəˈmɪt/

UK /kə'mɪt/

  • verb
  • To do something bad, usually a crime
  • To promise your permanent love or loyalty (to)
  • To promise or decide to do something for a purpose
  • other
  • To entrust or give into someone's charge or keeping.
  • To send (someone) to a hospital or prison.
  • To do or perpetrate (a crime or other reprehensible act).
  • To pledge or bind (oneself) to a certain course or policy; to make an engagement.

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