Name: Epic Rap Battle! - Rhett & Link
Uploaded: 2014-07-08T07:42:34.000Z
Duration: 4 min 30 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

RHETT: Pass me some of that garlic stuff. LINK: Have you noticed the waitress?

RHETT: Oh yeah. I was thinking about talking to her.   LINK: Well you might wanna check your breath first.

RHETT: I'm sure your's isn't any better.   LINK: Hold on. Here she comes.

LINK: Hey, I think we're done. Can you split up the check?   And do you have any gum? I only need one piece.

First off, I want to tell you I enjoyed the pizza   Well, it really wasn't great, but it allowed me to meetcha.

I'd like your number- but I'm not gonna leave a big tip to get it.

That means he's cheap and pathetic and if you date him you'll regret it.

Twenty-three percent from me communicates  I'm generous; not desperate. And I can calculate.

Is she supposed to be impressed?  Well, if you wanna battle be my guest...

I'm a computer programmer and a cubical dweller. I disabled spellcheck 'cause I'm a stellar speller.

When I write an email that includes an attachment, I never hit "send" before I've attached it.

Your job is a bore; I keep it hardcore.  Selling knives and insurance from door to door.

You're reflecting on a watercooler conversation. I'm giving an incredible knife demonstration.

May I interest you in some accidental death coverage  or a hard-boiled egg slicer?

I can change your computer wallpaper to a   tropical beach scene.

I carpool, 'cause I'm environmentally sensitive.   I pack a snorkel 'cause I'm clever and so inventitive.

It's inventive. Inventitive isn't a word.

Yeah, I just inventi-ted it. You just got served!

Well, when I carpool, I take a group of third graders.

On my way to work, I teach them   multiplication tables. See I'm a...

Then why did this kid just tell me  that 1x1=2 ?

At the gym people line up just to give me a spot.

My career Plan-B is to teach P.E.  The model on this machine...he's based on me.

I've mastered the art of mental manipulation.

Working every muscle group through meditation. This is me working out my triceps.

My sense of style is sweet like syrup. It's not uncommon for people to think I'm from Europe.

I don't follow the trends. I'm a style pioneer. See this turtleneck, with a necklace--you'll be wearing this next year.

I see buttons, I just push 'em to see what they do. If something were to go wrong, I'd just blame it on you.

I'm quick-witted. I always know just what to say.

I was offered a record deal, while singing at a karaoke bar. But I turned it down and became the President's karaoke czar.

I rescued a dolphin entangled in a tuna net and donated it to an orphanage to keep as a pet.

I gave the heimlich to a horse choking on beef jerky. Two hours later he won the Kentucky Derby.

I embrace my weaknesses and call them uniquenesses.

Well, I can make it look like my thumb is coming off.

I've got a signed picture of Boris Yeltsin.

You just said that "the square root of raspberry should be legalized."