You heard me.

I become several detectives.

The most transaction history indicates lives.

Relationship is at least a year old, and they live together.

Linked in profile shows no more than three months.

Gaps between jobs, upward mobility and consistency are evidence.

Bingo Bango found their old address really how the transaction history revealed ex Girlfriend's name, which led to her instagram when she posted several photos inside of an apartment that they shared, which had four consecutive window walls facing the West based on the timeline of his linked and he lived in Echo Park at the time.

So I looked up Zillow and Redfin listings for that area and search window walls looked at the interior photos of those listings and bam previous addresses.

123 Future Street.

Uh huh.

Now I know this example seems like I'm exaggerating for the sake of comedy, but I'm not.

I am incredibly good at stalking to the point that several of my friends will come to me when they're dating someone new as a preliminary background check.

And I know I'm not the only one who is like this.

Several of my girlfriends could be moonlighting as private investigators.

We all have this knack for finding things that are not readily available in a typical Google search.

And recently I was wondering if this quality makes me a bad person.

So of course I did what I always do when I hate an aspect of myself.

I go to my therapist and for the record, my therapist is the queen of reframing.

If I say I'm too sensitive, she challenges you're compassionate.

If I'm use that have too many feelings, she proposes.

You have emotional depth.

Oh, yeah, well, I'm aggressive or assertive and overshare vulnerable Internet stock like a mother flat makes you hyper vigilant, actually, quite like a detective.

I've never felt more scene.

Now I do want to clarify.

She has explicitly stated that I will never do the disservice of just being a cheerleader.

It doesn't serve either of us for me to just blindly validate you when I see areas toe work on our blind spots that you may need to be aware of.

We will consciously work on that, and any good therapist will have the same viewpoint.

They should not be there just cheer you on blindly while you engage in bad behavior.

But she illuminated something about my stocking.

For me, hyper vigilance is a survival mechanism developed in Children in order to help them make friends and fit in.

Since you came from a military family and your environment change so frequently, you needed to be able to read a room to make friends quickly to fit into new cultures, to survive in your family honor that it helped you.

Okay, she just, like, blows my mind constantly because one of the biggest revelations she's given me is that every part of yourself that you may hate or that you think it's too much or that feels broken.

It exists because it was a survival mechanism you had as a kid.

And the great thing is, once we're aware of that, we can let it go or use it in a more healthy way.

Soto, all of your fellow detectives out there now we know we are detectives because of childhood trauma or just regular trauma.

We either needed to be detectives to survive, or we've been hurt before and are now trying to protect ourselves.

But what about you.

What qualities do you have that could use?

Um, reframing?

Tell me all about your childhood trauma.

In the comments below, I'm Anaconda and thank you to privacy for sponsoring today's video.

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