Name: 【TED】Sheryl Sandberg: So we leaned in ... now what? (Sheryl Sandberg: So we leaned in ... now what?)
Uploaded: 2014-07-01T15:15:23.000Z
Duration: 16 min 57 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Pat Mitchell: Your first time back on the TEDWomen stage.

To-infinitive

Sheryl Sandberg: First time back. Nice to see everyone. It's always so nice to look out

Basic quantifiers

It's so not my regular experience, 
as I know anyone else's.

PM: So when we first started talking about, maybe the subject wouldn't be social media,

which we assumed it would be, but 
that you had very much on your mind

the missing leadership positions, particularly 
in the sector of technology and social media.

But how did that evolve for you as a thought, and end up being the TED Talk that you gave?

SS: So I was really scared to get on 
this stage and talk about women,

because I grew up in the business 
world, as I think so many of us did.

You never talk about being a woman, because 
someone might notice that you're a woman, right?

They might notice. Or worse, if you say "woman," 
people on the other end of the table

think you're asking for special 
treatment, or complaining.

Or worse, about to sue them. 
And so I went through -- (Laughter)

Right? I went through my entire business career,

and never spoke about being a woman, 
never spoke about it publicly.

But I also had noticed that it wasn't working.

I came out of college over 
20 years ago, and I thought

that all of my peers were men and women, 
all the people above me were all men,

because your generation had done such 
an amazing job fighting for equality,

equality was now ours for the taking. And it wasn't.

Because year after year, I was one of fewer and fewer,

should I give a speech at TEDWomen 
about women, and they said, oh no, no.

It will end your business career. You 
cannot be a serious business executive

and speak about being a woman. 
You'll never be taken seriously again.

But fortunately, there were the few, the proud -- like you -- who told me I should give the speech,

and I asked myself the question 
Mark Zuckerberg might --

asks all of us, which is, what 
would I do if I wasn't afraid?

And the answer to what would I do if I wasn't 
afraid is I would get on the TED stage,

and talk about women, and leadership. 
And I did, and survived. (Applause)

PM: I would say, not only survived. 
I'm thinking of that moment, Sheryl,

when you and I were standing backstage 
together, and you turned to me,

And I said -- very last minute -- you know, 
you really should share that story.

SS: Well, it's an important part of the 
journey. So I had -- TEDWomen --

the original one was in D.C. -- so I live here, 
so I had gotten on a plane the day before,

and my daughter was three, she was 
clinging to my leg: "Mommy, don't go."

And Pat's a friend, and so, not related 
to the speech I was planning on giving,

which was chock full of facts and 
figures, and nothing personal,

I told Pat the story. I said, well, 
I'm having a hard day.

Yesterday my daughter was clinging 
to my leg, and "Don't go."

And you looked at me and said, 
you have to tell that story.

I said, on the TED stage? Are you kidding?

I'm going to get on a stage and admit 
my daughter was clinging to my leg?

And you said yes, because if you want to talk 
about getting more women into leadership roles,

you have to be honest about how hard it is.

And I did. And I think that's a really 
important part of the journey.

The same thing happened when I wrote my book. 
I started writing the book. I wrote a first chapter,

I thought it was fabulous. It was 
chock-full of data and figures,

I had three pages on matrilineal Maasai 
tribes, and their sociological patterns.

My husband read it and he was like, this 
is like eating your Wheaties. (Laughter)

No one -- and I apologize to Wheaties if there's 
someone -- no one, no one will read this book.

And I realized through the process that I 
had to be more honest and more open,

and I had to tell my stories. My stories of still 
not feeling as self-confident as I should,

in many situations. My first and 
failed marriage. Crying at work.

Felling like I didn't belong there, 
feeling guilty to this day.

And part of my journey, starting on this stage, 
going to "Lean In," going to the foundation,

is all about being more open and 
honest about those challenges,

so that other women can be more open and honest,

and all of us can work together towards real equality.

PM: I think that one of the most 
striking parts about the book,

and in my opinion, one of the reasons it's hit such 
a nerve and is resonating around the world,

is that you are personal in the book, 
and that you do make it clear that,

while you've observed some things that are 
very important for other women to know,

that you've had the same challenges 
that many others of us have,

as you faced the hurdles and the barriers and 
possibly the people who don't believe the same.

So talk about that process: deciding 
you'd go public with the private part,

and then you would also put yourself in 
the position of something of an expert

SS: After I did the TED Talk, what happened was --

you know, I never really expected to write 
a book, I'm not an author, I'm not a writer,

and it was viewed a lot, and it really 
started impacting people's lives.

I got this great --- one of the first 
letters I got was from a woman

who said that she was offered a really big 
promotion at work, and she turned it down,

and she told her best friend she turned 
it down, and her best friend said,

And so she watched this TED Talk, and she 
went back the next day, she took the job,

she went home, and she handed her 
husband the grocery list. (Laughter)

And what really mattered to me -- it wasn't 
only women in the corporate world,

even though I did hear from a lot of 
them, and it did impact a lot of them,

it was also people of all different circumstances.

There was a doctor I met who was an 
attending physician at Johns Hopkins,

and he said that until he saw my TED 
Talk, it never really occurred to him

that even though half the students in 
his med school classes were women,

they weren't speaking as much as 
the men as he did his rounds.

So he started paying attention, and as he waited for 
raised hands, he realized the men's hands were up.

So he started encouraging the 
women to raise their hands more,

So he told everyone, no more 
hand raising, I'm cold-calling.

So he could call evenly on men and women. 
And what he proved to himself was that

the women knew the answers just as well or better,

and he was able to go back 
to them and tell them that.

And then there was the woman, stay-at-home 
mom, lives in a really difficult neighborhood,

with not a great school, she said that TED 
Talk -- she's never had a corporate job,