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  • Hey, guys, look at my new place.

  • So the goal for today's video is to give some value, even if just to a couple to you.

  • All that I ask in this is that you watch it to the end and that you're kind to each other.

  • So that being said, it has been a while since we've had the opportunity just to do a sit and talk video.

  • But I figured this was gonna be a really good topic for it.

  • We're talking today about being lonely in Japan and some of the things that can lead up to that and some stuff that you can do.

  • But I kind of want to start by painting a little bit of a picture.

  • So for the sake of imagination, let's say that you've made the commitment.

  • You've decided to move to Japan.

  • You save up your money and you take the plunge.

  • But shortly after getting here, you start to realize that making friends and meeting people is a bit more of a challenge than you initially anticipated it to be.

  • And in a very short period of time, you start finding yourself feeling lonely and isolated.

  • It's not just you.

  • It happens.

  • Ah lot.

  • And that's kind of what I want to talk about today.

  • So this entire topic came up because about a week ago I was at an event where I had the opportunity to meet a lot of people who had just came to Japan.

  • Hi, guys.

  • It was great meeting you, by the way and fairly early on in our conversation, this topic came up and what leads to it and what you can do, Thio combat it.

  • And I thought it was a really great conversation.

  • This topic itself is all too real.

  • And for a lot of people, loneliness is going to hit hard.

  • Like you're not just moving to a new country or in general to a new place where you might not know that many people.

  • But you're also separating from the people that you do know and that you've grown up with whether it be family or friends, combined with the fact that the longer you're away from home, the more stuff back home you're gonna miss, whether it be weddings or events, birthdays or, in the worst case scenario, even the passing of loved ones like you might not be able to get back for some of those important moments.

  • I've been in Japan now over 10 years, and I've missed Mawr than my fair share.

  • All things considered, it's pretty easy for the dream of living in Japan.

  • Thio turn into the nightmare of being isolated in Japan.

  • All of this kind of reminded me of a story from a couple of years back when one of my friends moved from Canada to Japan and ended up leaving a few short months later because he found himself being really detached and lonely, not having a good time in Japan at all.

  • And I think a lot of it came down to falling into bad habits or bad routines like many of us do.

  • And I've spent a lot of time over the years thinking about this and talking to other friends about what led to this individual's eventual departure.

  • And hopefully what's distilled from this over the years will be able to give you a little bit of value.

  • So starting by getting one of the most obvious ones out of the way the language barrier, especially if your goal is to make his many Japanese friends as possible.

  • The language barrier can feel like a really big one, and I've advocated time and time again that you don't need to be able to speak Japanese before you move here.

  • Obviously, unless your goal is to be able to connect with and meet as many Japanese people is possible.

  • That obviously changes things a little.

  • Now, studying before you come can have its benefits.

  • Or even joining a language school while you're here may introduce you to a like minded people.

  • But more than anything, I would hope that it would give you the inspiration that you need to go out and use the Japanese that you've learned.

  • It's kind of like when when you get a new car, you'll find any excuse to go out and drive it.

  • Every time I learned something new in Japanese, I can't wait to get out there and use it or put myself in a situation where I have the opportunity to use it.

  • And that's one of the biggest benefits of studying Japanese while you're here.

  • Hopefully, it keeps you motivated and on your toes to meet people and use that Japanese.

  • But whether you speak Japanese or not, there's a second really big problem that I think a lot of people fall victim Thio I'm just gonna put it really simply go out, do something.

  • Ideally with people.

  • One of the most common pitfalls that I see people falling into again and again and again is the pitfall of going to work and coming home and letting your entire life revolved around that hobbies could be an incredible gateway into meeting a community of people that you otherwise wouldn't meet.

  • My very first hobby in Japan that led to me meeting people and making friends was festivals.

  • And then after that, I got into cars and drifting.

  • And then after that was the shamisen and then photography in each and every one of these lead to me meeting a group or community of people that really helped me build out a life here in Japan.

  • And that leads me to another really big one, which is building a balanced life, not putting all of your eggs or effort into one basket, whether it be work or one of your social circles or you're running club or whatever it is because not everybody is here for the long term.

  • In fact, a really, really common struggle that I see is there's Ah lot of people who are on Lee here for a year or six months, or maybe a year and a half on a working holiday or something like that.

  • And I see a lot of newcomers coming to Japan and complain that the MAWR longer residents can be unapproachable or snobbish.

  • And then I see the same long term residents.

  • They're talking about being openly unwilling to commit to a friendship with somebody that they know is only gonna be here for a short period of time.

  • And more often than not all of this starts to lead the finger pointing and blame and blame leads to excuses.

  • And that's another really, really big What excuses tend to be the easy way out.

  • And I've seen a lot of people end up isolated or leaving Japan and making excuses the whole way out.

  • I don't speak Japanese or I'm too busy with work or things.

  • They're too expensive or even something really super simple, like getting dark as early as it does around the winter, like I'm from Canada.

  • So it gets dark fairly late, thanks to daylight savings time.

  • But here in Japan, around 44 30 p.

  • M.

  • In the winter, it's it's already dark, and it can feel like the day is done and people will lean into these excuses because it's just easier than going out and doing the work.

  • And legitimately each one of those excuses.

  • And MAWR individually, if not put together, can be a reason to not go out and do stuff.

  • And it reminds me of this CEO that I met a few years back who throws these networking events for companies to network with potential future employees.

  • And he went out of his way to put these events at incredibly inconvenient times, like 8 p.m. On a Sunday or something like that.

  • And when I asked him about why he scheduled a minute such inconvenient times, he made a really good point.

  • He's like the hardest part is just putting in the effort to show up.

  • Excuses are easy.

  • Showing up is hard, and this issue in itself is not unique to non Japanese people coming to Japan.

  • In fact, it is a well known issue in Japan that Japanese people also struggle with loneliness and in the same way that you might want to come to Japan and connect with locals and make Japanese friends.

  • There's just a many Japanese people who want to be able to get out and connect and meet non Japanese people and expand their world as well.

  • That being said, I feel like it's also important to mention the importance of realistic expectations.

  • I'm sure this is not gonna be you, But don't be that person who comes to Japan and expects all the people around them to flock to them just because they're non Japanese that nobody nobody likes that person do expect Thio have to put in the same level of effort that you would have to put in back home to meet people, build connections and make friendships that that's that's a lot more realistic.

  • And with it being almost 2020 there is no shortage of portals to kick off friendships, things like interest based Facebook groups or even Twitter.

  • I've made a lot of friends over the years on Twitter, but the key is not to let the online interaction outweigh the face to face interactions to just take the risk, invite people out for coffee or a jog or whatever it is that you're into.

  • The point is, go outside, do stuff, meet people like if you're lonely or worried about being lonely in Japan, so are other people.

  • A lot of them, actually.

  • And if this little video can help motivate you or those people to actually go out and potentially find each other thing, hopefully we'll have done something good today.

  • And I want this video to serve a purpose beyond just addressing the topic of being lonely in Japan.

  • I wanted to serve the conduit for social interaction, So I want to propose something.

  • I want you guys to use the comment section down below.

  • If you know of a really good hang out spot that's great for meeting people or, you know, online group for photography.

  • You're jogging, cooking whatever it is, or you even just have a really good story that you think will give some value.

  • Leave it in the comments section below, especially if you live in Japan or if you're moving to Japan soon.

  • I'd love to see you guys interacting down there.

  • I would also love it if you would take two seconds to give A like to this video.

  • If you're new to the channel, I'd love it if you'd go and watch one or two more videos.

  • Otherwise, thank you guys.

  • So much for joining us today.

  • I hope that you got something out of this.

  • At the very least, I look forward to hanging out with you down below and you guys know I will see you again.

  • Riel soon for my guys.

Hey, guys, look at my new place.

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A2 japanese people japanese people lonely meeting topic

Living in Japan Can Be Lonely

  • 16 1
    Summer posted on 2020/11/23
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