Way! Wook! It's Widward!

What?

[laughing]

What's that supposed to be? Some kind of stupid secret code?

We can't tell you because you're not a member of the club.

Oh, yeah? What does it take to be a member?

Squidward, you and your nose will definitely not fit in.

Oh, what do you to zeroes know about fitting in?

Why, you should be begging me to join.

- You can't join! Can't join! - You can't get in!

[groaning]

Well, this is stupid! There's no room up here!

That's what we've been trying to tell you.

I do not now,

nor will I ever want to be

a member of your stupid club!

[screaming]

Oh no, that didn't just happen. Please tell me that didn't happen.

What happened?

Where are we? We're lost! There's no way out.

We're stuck in the middle of nowhere with SpongeBob and Patrick.

Well, this is the end.

No, it's not Squidward.

It's not?

- We have this! - How can that possibly help us?

Oh, Squidward.

We must never question the wisdom of the magic conch.

The club always take its advice before we do anything.

Oh, magic conch shell,

what do we need to do to get out of the kelp forest?

- Nothing. - The shell has spoken.

Nothing. We can't just sit here and do nothing!

Ugh!

I am going to find my way back to sanity!

But don't you two sad clowns come crying to me when your circus tent comes

crashing down. Sad clown. Ha.

[laughing]

I'm free!

[laughing]

Take that, SpongeBob and Patrick!

[laughing]

Yeah, huh? Oh.

Dude! We're falling right outta the sky. We've gotta drop the load!

Praise the magic conch!

Mmm mm.

Oh my! What shall I eat first? The spaghetti,

the turkey, the soup, the canned meat?

Why don't you ask the magic conch, Squidward?

Oh, yeah, like that'll happen. Right after I consult the magic toenail.

[gasping]

Squidward, are you questioning the authority of the magic conch?

[laughing]

You guys have it all wrong. I love this... piece of plastic.

Uh.

Hello there,

magic conch,

I was wondering uh… should I have those spaghetti or the turkey?

Neither.

Oh. Then how about that soup?

I don't think so.

- Could I have anything to eat? - No.

- Could I have something to eat. - No.

- Ugh!!

Squidward, are you alright?

Maybe we should ask the shell if he's okay.

Hello, anyone there?

Hello?

[gasping]

Do you folks need some help?

I'm saved! You don't know how happy I am to see you!

I have been stranded out here for weeks with these two barnacle heads

- and their magic conch shell. - Magic conch shell?

You mean like this?

The magic conch! A club member!

[moaning]

Alright, magic conch.

What do we do now?

Nothing.

Oh hail, the magic conch!

Oh hail, the magic conch!