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  • -My next guest is a very funny comedian,

  • one of my favorite comedians, I think, of all time.

  • He has a new book called "Overstated:

  • A Coast to Coast Roast of the 50 States."

  • Does he think maybe I'm trying to butter him up

  • and that's why he's going to be in a bad mood?

  • Because yeah, when I bring him out, but I meant it.

  • His latest special, "Colin Quinn & Friends:

  • A Parking Lot Comedy Show," is streaming now on HBO Max.

  • Here is my buddy Colin Quinn.

  • Wow. -Whoo. Ah, Jimmy.

  • -Ah, man, I just said some great things about you, man.

  • -I know, but you said "one of my favorites, I think."

  • -Yeah, I did.

  • -Yeah, but you said "I think" in the middle of that.

  • I don't know why you had to... -[ Laughs ]

  • No, I didn't say it.

  • Did I say "I think"? No, you're one of my favorites.

  • -Yeah, you said "you're one of my favorites, I think."

  • -No, no, no, no, no.

  • -Yeah, you started to question yourself in the middle,

  • but look, it's still good.

  • "One of my favorites, I think" is pretty good.

  • It's not good as "one of my favorites, unequivocally,"

  • but it's still pretty good. -[ Laughs ]

  • Alright, you were one of the hardest working comedians

  • there is, I would say that about you.

  • And because of what's happening in the world,

  • you were telling me this is the longest stretch

  • that you've gone without being in a comedy club.

  • -That's true. -That must be bizarre for you.

  • But there's a very specific demographic

  • that you blame the spread of COVID on.

  • I hate to bring this up.

  • -Nerds, because here's why it's nerds.

  • Before the invention of the computer, nerds,

  • they had one thing they could actually do in life

  • that would make them popular, which is medical field.

  • They would sit, look in the microscope.

  • That was their only hope to be rock stars,

  • and they would look at slides.

  • That was the thing.

  • And so they would figure out a thing like COVID,

  • but it took them like three weeks.

  • And because they're all too busy, like, you know,

  • involved with movies and music

  • and apps, we're getting, like, third-rate nerds

  • to be in the medical field.

  • -[ Laughing ]

  • Because they're developing apps now instead of focusing

  • on what they should be nerding about,

  • which is science and medicine.

  • -Yeah, which is saving our lives so we can push them

  • into lockers for another couple hundred years.

  • -Even though you can't perform right now,

  • are you still writing a lot?

  • -Yes, I'm writing on my ph-- I write on my phone constantly.

  • I got a few joke ideas. You want to hear any of them?

  • -I'd love to hear some. -Thank you.

  • Well, first of all, corona stuff, obviously.

  • -Okay. -In movies,

  • all those Liam Neeson movies, like "Taken."

  • -Uh-huh. -Right?

  • Now it's going to change, like, "I will look for you,

  • I will find you,

  • and I will give you the finger across the room.

  • It will be awkward."

  • Sounds like a sketch that got cut at dress,

  • now that I say it out loud. -Not bad.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • 'Cause you can't go near people, the six feet.

  • I understand. -What's that? Exactly.

  • And sex scenes, when you explain it, it's even worse.

  • Sex scenes -- there's going to be no more sex.

  • People are not going to kiss in a movie or the whole audience

  • is going to go like, "Ugh!"

  • Imagine two people exchanging sal-- we're all going to think

  • like, "What is that person's husband and wife going to do

  • with these perverts out there."

  • It's going to go back to like the 19-- in the 1940s,

  • people would just wink at each other in a movie

  • and that was like sex.

  • Or they would, like, have bunk beds on a train,

  • and you were like, "Ooh," and wear pajamas.

  • They all wore pajamas.

  • And that was like, "Ooh my God, pajamas, that's a hot movie."

  • -Bunk beds on a train. Oh, my gosh.

  • These are great bits.

  • -They're the beginnings of great bits, thank you.

  • -I want to talk about the book.

  • Gosh, it's so funny.

  • It's Called "overstated:

  • A Coast to Coast Roast of the 50 States,"

  • and nice quotes in the back here.

  • A few quotes.

  • "New York Times" called you a bar-stool philosopher.

  • That's a compliment, right?

  • -It depends on the bar.

  • You know, sometimes it's, you know, some erudite

  • Irish intellectual professor with his corduroy jacket,

  • spouting Joyce or it could be a drunken lout who's like,

  • "Hey, I'll tell you what I think is going on."

  • You know what I mean? So I don't know how they meant it.

  • It sounds like a little bit of a left-handed compliment.

  • -Yeah, a little. -Maybe I'm a little paranoid.

  • -I want to talk to you about this special

  • because you figured out a way to do a socially

  • distant stand-up show.

  • You have a new special on HBO Max.

  • "Colin Quinn & Friends: A Parking Lot Comedy Show."

  • You shot it at a drive-in theater in Brooklyn.

  • I didn't even know there was a drive-in theater in Brooklyn.

  • -Yeah. -How did the idea come together?

  • How did you do this? You direct it.

  • -Well, I did a tweet in March and then my manager was like,

  • "We should do that as a real thing."

  • I tweeted March 3rd or something,

  • "Hey, drive-in comedy," trying to be funny on Twitter.

  • You know how I like to mix it up a little, and then he goes --

  • he started pitching it around, then HBO Max was like,

  • "Yeah, we'll do a special."

  • So then I get my friends and it's basically us doing

  • a socially distant -- doing stand-up for cars,

  • which, you know, like 50 cars in a parking lot,

  • and it was funny.

  • A lot of people, like the emcee Rich Vos goes,

  • "Hey, don't worry, folks. We don't have bouncers here.

  • If you give us trouble, we have tow trucks."

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • You know what I liked about it is also

  • not just the acts on stage but also a lot of the --

  • just what comedians talk about backstage.

  • -Yeah. -And hanging out.

  • -All that banter.

  • All the fun of the -- you know,

  • that communal bonding that you miss

  • because you no longer have that.

  • Because you're by yourself in a studio.

  • You don't even have an audience anymore.

  • You're literally back to being alone.

  • I've seen them online every night.

  • It's you as a little boy in Saugerties with a hair brush

  • in front of your mirror doing jokes

  • you don't even know if they're getting laughs or not.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -You get right in there, you know.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • It is a bit awkward, you know.

  • Do you remember the most awkward gig you ever had?

  • -Well, I mean, compared to, like, the car gig was --

  • that's what I was trying to tell people.

  • We've all had so many gigs.

  • You know, in comedy,

  • we're suddenly, like, oh, doing comedy clubs.

  • That's how it works, and then suddenly you're next to

  • somebody's pool in a backyard,

  • and you're like, "Wait a minute.

  • I'm supposed to do comedy here, right?"

  • -That was awful.

  • -My famous bad gig is De Niro's birthday party,

  • his 60th birthday party,

  • and I went in there and ruined his birthday.

  • Here's how bad it was 'cause even I was like,

  • "Maybe I'm exaggerating. It wasn't that bad.

  • He's had such a life filled with so many things.

  • He probably doesn't even remember it."

  • And then like 10 years later,

  • Jim Norton -- we happened to talking to De Niro

  • outside of some thing, and Jim Norton goes,

  • "Remember the time he bombed at your birthday party?"

  • And De Niro and his wife

  • both got this look in their face of hate.

  • It was that -- 10 years later.

  • -Wow! -The guy's traveled the world

  • eight times since then probably,

  • and it still brought an ugly energy to both of them.

  • That's how bad it was. -What was so bad about it?

  • -I just went up there, and I was planning on --

  • you know, I had this big plan.

  • She just told me to go up and do an impression

  • of De Niro and leave.

  • But I was like Ralph Kramden.

  • "No, I'll do more than that."

  • And she's like, "Alright.

  • I mean, he knows what he's doing. He's a comedian."

  • -"We're not asking for more." -I don't know what I'm doing.

  • Yeah. I was roasting him.

  • The crowd didn't know -- I told her, "Don't intro me,"

  • which is another amateur mistake.

  • Nobody knows who I am. -No introduction.

  • -I go up and I start trashing him,

  • making roast jokes, and people are like --

  • They're in the middle of dinner, Jimmy.

  • It's not even dark out. It's light out.

  • So everybody's there.

  • So Robin Williams -- I leave soaked in shame at the end.

  • I'm walking outside, but it was slightly raining,

  • and I had this shirt, like, this new cashmere shirt on a hanger.

  • I had another show that night,

  • so I had a shirt, and Robin Williams comes out.

  • He's, like, commiserating with me,

  • and I go, "I just don't know."

  • And I gesture, and my shirt flies off the hanger

  • into a puddle and a cab runs it over in the rain.

  • Robin Williams couldn't stop laughing.

  • I just walked away. I didn't even say another word.

  • I just left. I saw him like two years later.

  • -That's the best.

  • Talk about the worst gig. It just got worse.

  • Oh, my God. That's perfect. -It was brutal.

  • -But I love that he's there to laugh. I love that comic.

  • You need a comedian. -Thank God he was -- Yes.

  • He understood.

  • In fact, he said his wife was going, "Help him."

  • He goes, "No, he doesn't want me to help him."

  • -Well, I want to show a clip of your special.

  • This is "Colin Quinn & Friends: A Parking Lot Comedy Show."

  • Take a look at this clip.

  • -You've never done a show with all cars, right?

  • -Not really, no.

  • -I'm just wondering how it's going to work.

  • -Oh, yeah, boss, we got to talk to you about the instructions.

  • So when you come out, a guy is gonna change the microphone.

  • He might be changing it while you're on stage doing the act.

  • -What the [bleep]? What are you talking about?

  • -The guy's gonna be on stage. -As I'm talking?

  • Safety first, they say, with this COVID.

  • Thank you for cleaning this off.

  • Listen, you're a big name.

  • And after this, believe me, you're going to be able

  • to do rooftops.

  • You're going to be able to do [bleep] driveways.

  • Do you know how many -- Parking garages.

  • It's not going to end for you.

  • -We got a big treehouse show coming up.

  • -Yes.

  • -Colin Quinn, everybody.

  • His book "Overstated: A Coast to Coast Roast of the 50 States"

  • is available now and check out "Colin Quinn & Friends:

  • A Parking Lot Comedy Show" on HBO Max.

  • It is so fun to have you and always a delight,

  • and please, come back whenever, buddy, and stay safe, okay?

  • -Thanks, Jimmy, you too.

-My next guest is a very funny comedian,

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Colin Quinn Ruined Robert DeNiro’s 60th Birthday Party

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/11/21
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