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  • There are definitely some things that are bad.

  • Did you read that article that came out today that said you should only eat six fries?

  • What? Are they delusional?

  • Who can only eat six fries?

  • I don't know, that's what the article said.

  • Like over the course of my life or in one sitting?

  • I mean what if I eat six fries every hour?

  • I don't know.

  • Okay, but like what are the time parameters for six fries?

  • I mean six seconds? Months? Years?

  • I don't know, maybe read the article?

  • Okay, but you read the article and have now ruined my life

  • so I would like some elaborate answers beyond: "don't eat more than six fries."

  • [Sighs] This is why you have no friends.

  • I'm alone.

  • I mean one thing we've been sort of trained to believe is that negative emotions are bad.

  • Jealousy, insecurity, doubt, paranoia.

  • I mean the list goes on and on. The positivity movement especially has this

  • mentality that you should cast aside these emotions in favor of the happy ones.

  • Sort of like fake it to make it but feel it to...

  • make real it.

  • Which I don't think works long term because then you sort of become detached

  • and disconnected with your emotions by just constantly dismissing them.

  • All right everyone! After some recent discussions internally

  • we've decided to fire you all!

  • From now on it's all joy!

  • [All ARGUING]

  • You can't just fire us we live inside of you! [Arguing]

  • Pack your shit and leave,

  • Bye!

  • Then there's also the view that you need to sit with your emotions, right?

  • The idea of:

  • acceptance of negative feelings in order to let them pass through you.

  • But I've found that when I do this I just get stuck in the bad feeling

  • and just ruminate because I'm allowing that emotion to take over my life.

  • It's gonna be a terrible day.

  • It's gonna be a terrible meal.

  • HE'S GONNA DIE SOMEDAY AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE DEVASTATED!

  • And now I have found a brilliant technique that has helped me so much.

  • Now bear with me because I know it's gonna sound a little cheesy,

  • but if you're someone who deals with a lot of anxiety or insecurity or emotional pain of any kind

  • I urge you to have an open mind and try it.

  • So, when you feel a negative emotion, let's say

  • insecurity.

  • I want you to first think of what that emotion would look like,

  • a physical representation of it.

  • So for me,

  • my insecurity would look like a jagged crystal formation.

  • And once that image is really clear

  • I want you to mentally take that physicalized emotion from your body

  • and hold it in front of you and ask it:

  • Why are you here?

  • Because every feeling you have is actually trying to help you.

  • It's trying to let you know something.

  • I mean, that's why you feel it.

  • It's this physical cue that shouldn't be just

  • ignored or blindly accepted but understood.

  • OK. So what's up? What are you trying to tell me?

  • I don't want you to get hurt.

  • What? Why would I get hurt?

  • Well you were at this party and everyone here is really cool and you like them a lot,

  • But what if they don't like you as much as you like them?

  • What if they think you're lame?

  • I just want to make sure that you're safe and you're loved

  • and that no one hurts you.

  • Are you still with me? And isn't my crystal voice just like super adorable?

  • But seriously,

  • literally every emotion you feel is trying to do something for you.

  • Whether it's your anger trying to protect you,

  • your anxiety wanting to motivate you to do better,

  • or your feelings of unworthiness wanting to make sure that you get the love you deserve.

  • You need to think of negative emotions as misunderstood,

  • and then, once you really know why it's there, the next step

  • is to think of what you would rather feel.

  • So for me, when I understand that my insecurity is trying to keep me safe from getting hurt,

  • I would think, "Hmm, well I would rather feel vulnerable.

  • I'd rather feel like I can put myself out there

  • and take a risk and know that I'm enough just as I am."

  • And, once I have that feeling I make it a physical object as well.

  • Pull it out of my body mentally and I merge the two together.

  • So once you merge these two together, it becomes a new object and then, still in your head here,

  • you will put the new object back in your body and carry on.

  • Now, I can feel your judgment through the screen.

  • Like I feel it and I know some of you are like rolling your eyes and be like,

  • "Oh my god, Anna so New Age LA now," and I want you to ask yourself,

  • why do you feel judgmental?

  • How is it trying to serve you and what does it look like? And I know this may not be for everyone but

  • it's literally come in handy so much of my life that I did want to share it, because now I understand that

  • every negative emotion is trying to do something for me.

  • Instead of just pushing it away or succumbing to it,

  • I can now transform it into something that helps make my existence more bearable.

  • If anything, I hope that this helps you in some way because,

  • you know, life can be really hard sometimes and I'm-

  • I'm really tired of being the person who makes me feel the worst. So I'm working on it. I'm Anna Akana, stay awesome Gotham!

  • I want to say thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring today's episode! Squarespace has award-winning templates and an all-in-one one platform

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There are definitely some things that are bad.

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B1 insecurity anna squarespace emotion article negative

Feel good about feeling bad

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/10/29
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