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Ladies and gentlemen, as we prepare for take-off, please turn off all electronic devices.
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Why?
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What's that?
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Why do we have to turn off our electronic devices?
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Because they can interfere with the plane's navigation.
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Oh, okay.
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So anyway...
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How?
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What's that?
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How do they interfere with the plane's navigation?
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Ohh... Because the electronic signals can interfere with the signals between the plane and the radio tower on take-off and landing.
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Oh, okay! Got you! That makes sense. Thank you!
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Okay! Ahh, let's all make sure that our seats are fully upright...
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Wait. I mean I get why I can't have a radio or whatever, but how's my Kindle gonna screw things up?
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That's a good question.
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It's not just about radios. All devices have an electromagnetic field that can interfere with the radio frequencies.
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Ohhh… okay. That's good.
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Alright. Please make sure that all tray tables are...
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Wait, so you're saying that a 90 million dollar aircraft can't ignore the signal from my 40 dollar iPod shuffle?
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That's weird.
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She's right! That is weird.
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Yeah, now I'm confused again.
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If they're so dangerous, why do you allow devices on the plane and not…I don't know... gels?
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Yeah! Could I hold this plane hostage with my 3DS?
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Some devices are more dangerous than others, but there isn't enough time to go through them one by one.
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I mean how come the plane doesn't interfere with my phone?
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And why don't the other phones interfere with my phone?
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I just always leave my phone on and nothing happens.
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Yeah...
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You can't! Everybody no! All electronic devices have to be turned off!
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I can't turn off my pacemaker.
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Oh, your pacemaker is fine.
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Just opens up a whole new can of worms.
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Yeah yeah...I agree.
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Airplanes are magic!
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Okay? No one knows why you have to turn off your phones. And you wanna know why?
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Because no one knows how an airplane works!
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A couple of dumbos down in Kitty Hawk took some sticks and some old pants and they glued them together and they fucking flew!
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And no one knows why.
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I thought the wings generated lift?
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Lift?
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Thrust?
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No! Scientists want you to think that they figured it out but no one has ever figured it out and now we're just rocketing through space on a 30 ton dumpster running on God knows what magic!
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And you guys wanna just dig around with that?!
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I mean who knows what can fuck this shit up! Okay?
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So turn off your Twitter machines for just 13 minutes while we soar through the clouds like the Sun God Apollo.
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And just read your fucking skymalls! OKAY?
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Hey!
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My sister is pregnant!