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  • As you probably know,

  • we took a page from Major League Baseball,

  • and we filled our audience with cardboard cutouts.

  • We had fans send in their photos, we put in cutouts,

  • and we had a packed house the last couple of nights,

  • maybe you've seen that.

  • But now it's standing room only.

  • Check it out. Look at this.

  • [Andy] Wow.

  • We have got I mean, the aisles are clogged,

  • [Andy] I know the aisles are just jammed.

  • I can't move, not just because it's crowded

  • because that guy's behind me.

  • [Canon] Yeah I don't want to give him

  • an excuse to leap.

  • Yeah, no.

  • Strike This is in unprecedented,

  • I've never seen in many years of doing this show,

  • I've never seen this many people in an audience.

  • In fact, we've had some concern from the Fire Department.

  • It's very dangerous.

  • Yeah, this could be a fire code violation right now.

  • [Andy] Right?

  • I know that a lot of you are concerned

  • "Conan God forbid there should be a fire in the theater,

  • "would you be safe?"

  • I wanna promise you all I can get out of here instantly,

  • if I need to,

  • even though there are lots of fans in the aisles,

  • I know how to take care of number one.

  • Andy, do me a favor just say

  • "Conan, I smell smoke there could be a fire."

  • Conan I smell smoke there could be a fire.

  • Taj!

  • (carton rustling)

  • Get me to of here!(carton rustling)

  • Get me out of here!(carton rustling)

  • I want out!(carton rustling)

  • Get me out!(carton rustling)

  • Get me out of here!(carton rustling)

  • I want out!

  • (door bangs)

  • (Andy laughing)

  • Well, thanks for tuning in, folks.

  • We'll be back tomorrow with more of whatever this is.

  • (Canon panting)

  • Okay, that was a worthwhile exercise,

  • I do hope I didn't offend any of my fans,

  • who sent in cutouts and just saw them crushed.

  • On a sincere note,

  • I do wanna say that these cutouts are helping me.

  • I'm very appreciative that all of you,

  • took the time to send in photos to give me an audience.

  • Really, sincerely I thank all of you, except one person.

  • That's right, his name is Caleb,

  • and he's from Kansas City, Missouri.

  • Look at him.

  • Caleb thinks he's so much better than me.

  • Got so much attitude Caleb.

  • Who are you to judge me Caleb.

  • I'm out here trying day in day out,

  • whenever I come out on this stage, I see you, judging me.

  • Same look my father gave me every day of my life.

  • Here my name is Caleb.

  • I despise you.

  • It's you or me Caleb, one of us has to go.

  • There isn't room in this theater for both of us.

  • Technically, there is, plenty of room your

  • too dimensional, take up much space but still,

  • I got my eye on you Caleb.

  • Caleb and I are going to lunch after the show.

  • What are you doing that for?

  • He's a cool guy. I like him.

  • Oh, so suddenly you're Caleb's pal.

  • Well, I'm not his pal,

  • he says lots of nice stuff about me and frankly, I like it.

  • Okay, alright. Fine, be friends with Caleb.

  • I will

As you probably know,

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