Name: How to heal when love is self-betrayal
Uploaded: 2020-10-24T02:06:06.000Z
Duration: 3 min 9 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

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No one has betrayed you more than yourself.

When my therapist first said this, I was like What?

Usually, self betrayal is a habit carried over from childhood, often because you had to betray yourself in order to feel safe or loved by your caregivers.

This often manifests in adulthood, is pretending to be someone you're not Trade scene one take to mark on that.

Hey, guys, looking for someone else to complete U s.

So you want to see if the puzzle piece fits talking about a day and by refusing to live in the present?

Listen, once I met the love of my life, get married, have Children, celebrate several decades of marriage until my spouse dies and or divorces me and then live out the rest of my days with my girlfriends who haven't died yet.

My therapist often says that love is self betrayal because in my limiting belief system, it is, I was raised to believe that I had to put aside my own wants and my own needs in order to be safe, accepted and loved.

My parents, of course, did not intentionally try to instill these beliefs in me, but ultimately, that is the messaging I got.

So how do you heal self betrayal when it's a habit that's been conditioned into you your entire freaking life?

Well, my therapist says to try noticing and celebrating different ways in which you no longer betray yourself, including having a promise that you keep to yourself on a daily basis, no matter how small.

Every single day is I just ask myself what I need.

Sometimes I need to just stop doing all of my work and just lay on the floor for a second when I'm overwhelmed.

Sometimes it's to cancel that outing and stay at home so I could get some much needed rest.

And sometimes it's pushing myself to go out because I know that I'll have fun and I really need the social interaction that day.

But by promising to check in with myself and see where I'm at, and what I need.

I am learning and creating these neural pathways that I am now putting myself first instead of betraying my needs automatically to meet the wants of others or at least doing what I think they want me to be in order to be loved.

These very small acts of honoring yourself eventually add up and lead to some pretty big healing.

I'm Anaconda and thank you to square space for sponsoring today's video.

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