You may know me as the voice of Lisa Simpson,

and I'm here to improvise some voices for some cartoon

characters I've never seen before.

Just to manage your expectations,

I am actually one of the only people on The Simpsons

who really does only one voice,

once in a while I do an old lady,

but that gives you some idea of how this is gonna go.

Great, all right, let's get started.

Aw. [laughs]

Here we have a,

a sad, orange,

dragon-y, cyclops-y blobby.

I think maybe, you know, she sounds like this,

"My name is Iris.

I want to play hide and seek with the other

cyclops-dragon girls in my class and they were like,

'No Iris, your eye is too big, it's like cheating.'

So I'm just in here, against the blue wall

with my little dragon spiky spikes,

and, [sniffs] you know, I'm kinda sad,

I'm sad today, a little sad."

I cry a lot, as Lisa Simpson.

There are a few things I do a lot, as Lisa Simpson.

I talk to myself, quite often.

Like if you actually knew how often

Lisa Simpson talks to herself,

you would think, "Somebody help that girl."

And I sing a lot, as Lisa Simpson,

which is tough, because Lisa Simpson is right up here,

singing is all about opening your throat,

and to do Lisa Simpson I close my throat a little bit,

so I have about a four note range, as Lisa Simpson,

but they're all like, "No Yeardley, it's great,

you have great pitch, you're good at it, bleah."

And I'm like, [groans].

Please knock it off.

So to cry, and also to laugh,

to laugh, it's all really in the solar plexus.

There's like a heart contraction

that I feel when I pretend to be that sad

that I think

makes the crying sound really authentic.

The other thing is that, as Lisa Simpson,

often, I would say at least 70% of the time

when Lisa is crying, I, as Yeardley, I'm actually crying.

That's how much I connect to my character.

So I can throw a little love, a little technique

toward "I'm really so sad, so..." [crying]

Oh, hello. A very, very tall sort of crane.

I'm all covered up because I don't want

to have any contact with you at all.

But I hear you ordered a drink,

so I have it right here in my syringe."

I'll call you Doctor Prick,

because you carry a big stick that has a big prick on it.

And I like to think that instead of there being

some sort of medicine in there, it's a martini. [laughs]

In a play once, I had to play all these different characters

and I played like a sort of Fatty Arbuckle kind of barfly.

He sounded like this. "Oh hello.

I brought you your martini."

Which sounds a little sort of otherworldly,

like you've revived this poor bird from the dead,

but you know, he/she does not look unlike

he/she was revived from the dead.

"Hello, I hear you like your martini stirred, not shaken.

So I have it right here, in this syringe."

Really, so that's all right here in the throat.

And I remember, again, when I was doing that play,

I had to, it was about a five minute sketch,

and my castmates were like,

"Yeardly, you're gonna wreck your voice."

And somehow I didn't.

But there's almost no actual voice to it.

It's really guttural.

"You're really in there."

"Ummmmmm, hi. My name is, um...

my name is Charlotte.

I'm a unicorn

with really long blue hair,

um, here's the thing, though,

I have this really ugly birthmark on my tummy.

So I kinda thought, maybe if I grow my hair long enough,

I can, like, wear it in front and cover my, my birthmark."

I don't think Charlotte would be like,

the big booming sort of a unicorn

with a big blue birthmark on her tum.

I don't know, she doesn't look that way to me.

And she's small, she's itty-bitty.

She could be from the South, you know,

she could be, I'm not sure what state this accent is from,

cause I, as Yeardley, have done a lot of Southern accents

and people are like, "Where are you from?"

I'm like, "I was an Army brat. Leave me alone.

All over the South!"

But yes, maybe Charlotte is just like, "You know,

I just want to get along with everybody.

I bring cookies everywhere I go.

I like to hand them out.

I think it's a great way to make friends.

What are you, like a rat? Are you a monkey?

If you were shown this picture in an audition,

with a guy, it would be like,

[growls] "Really really rough and tough," right?

But what if he's, like, you know, like Cockney,

and he's like, "What? What you staring at?

No, I'm not grimacing at you, it's how I smile!

I was born this way, right?

I don't want to eat you.

I don't eat people anymore, I'm a vegetarian.

Yeah, I'm a vegetarian."

Or maybe it's sorta like a Fat Tony kind of type, right?

Maybe his name is, uh, Skinny Sam.

"And uh, you know, I used to be kinda skinny,

used to be skinny, but, uh,

now that I don't rob so many banks anymore,

uh, just, you know, I sit around a lot,

I just count the money, that's what I do.

So, you know, I'm trying to stay like middle management.

It's what I'm trying to do here."

Oh, Granny!

[groans] So, when I listen to Dan Castellaneta do Grampa,

he kinda does this breathy, again, not much

actual voice to Grampa

so I say to Dan, "Dan, could you do my lines

as the old lady who," I think... what is her name?

That's how often I do her.

Like, literally, they've killed her off three times

and brought her back to life

cause I do it so badly they think it's hilarious.

So I'll ask him to do my line,

there's usually one or two, and then he'll do it,

and then I imitate him, literally.

So, all right, let's see.

What's your name? What's your name?

"My name is, uh...

My name is Mary.

My name's Mary.

And, um, you know, they took away my license,

so I'm like, that's okay. You can not keep me down.

And sure I wear a helmet, but really, my hair is my helmet.

My husband died like, I dunno, 20 years ago?

I'm all right! I'm not lonely! Look at me go.

You can't stop me!"

Or she could be a smoker.

"My name is Mary, and, uh, they took away my license,

and so I was like, you know what? Up yours.

And I got a skateboard.

And you know what else? I got sneaks to match my skateboard!

And then I got a snazzy little top

and a little helmet to match my sneaks and my skateboard."

This is, this is a worm.

"I'm a worm. And I'm green.

And, uh, I'm a bookworm. Duh!

Cause I'm holding a book, and I'm a worm!

But do you know what the P.S is?

I can't actually read! This is a picture book! [chuckles]

I like to turn the pages with my tongue,

that's what I really like, but I, you know,

I just do that when I think nobody's looking."

Maybe he would, he would sort of have a stuffy nose.

If I mean, I really was to amp up the goofiness,

I don't know.

Now he's starting to sound like Carl on The Simpsons

that Hank Azaria does. [laughs]

He might not appreciate that. I don't know. [laughs]

I always wanted to do a valley girl on The Simpsons,

where there's a girl character named Shauna

and I once got to fill in for Tress MacNeille

who does the voice of Shauna,

You know, like, the bee is like,

"My name is Bea, Beatrice, but Bea for short.

I'm a lesbian bee, and I live in the hive

with, like, my wife and my 5000 kids.

What's great about the hive is great benefits.

We have, like, we have great medical.

We even have extra antenna care, which is super good

if your eyebrows are already

growing on your antenna, you know.

Also, wing care. We have great wing care at the hive."

What if the mislead on this bee

is that she's really, or he,

is really, like, this teen punk prankster?

"Hey! Listen! I'm a bee!

My name is Bud the Bee.

I'm smiling here, but I gotta tell you,

this bucket of honey? Super heavy, dude!

It's super freaking heavy!

So, uh, if you could just take the picture,

so I could put the bucket down,

and then I could lay down in the flowers,

that would be awesome."

[yells]

This poor little alarm clock!

If I could do a good Gilbert Gottfried

or a [laughs] Bobcat Goldthwaite.

"People! People! We have a problem!

I'm missing some numbers!

I'm missing number nine!

But I think it got eaten by seven eight nine!"

Here's what's unfair.

So this expression, of course,

wouldn't be the whole scene, right?

It would just be a moment, hopefully,

of this poor little alarm clock losing its whatever,

because it's missing some numbers. [laughs]

Maybe all the rest of the time,

the alarm clock is like, um,

"Allo! I am your alarm clock!

I know I look very analog, and you prefer the digital,

but I'm very useful!

And I can make a very big noise, like this!

[screams]

See? That's very useful, don't you think?

Cause I know that when I go off,

you do not like to wake up, huh?

You just lay there like a big slug.

And so I can just, you know, maybe be so loud

that you wish you could throw me against the wall!"

Well, favorites, thanks so much for watching.

It was fun for me.

I hope it was fun for you.

[laughs]