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  • In February of this year, I went into an epileptic shock and I thought I was going to die.

  • It was really intense.

  • My friend had to call 911 and I wanted to make a video about it where I would introduce it.

  • Like, you know, my life didn't flash before my eyes, but it definitely became a musical.

  • And they have this silly little musical number start.

  • So I hit my music producer and he sent me a rough draft voice memo of the structure of the song.

  • And I just knew it would never get better than what I had just heard.

  • So here it iss What's this?

  • You say there was shrimp in that dish?

  • Oh, no, I'm choking.

  • Oh, no, I'm choking.

  • Help!

  • Paramedics!

  • Oh, wait.

  • They're so cute.

  • Oh, no.

  • Look there.

  • So buff and attractive.

  • Oh, please take me.

  • Take me.

  • Take me to your leader because I'm dying.

  • You're dying.

  • You think you're dying?

  • You don't know what's happening.

  • We're putting you into, uh, ambulance.

  • They're taking you away, and now you can't breathe and you're singing about it.

  • And they're all looking at you.

  • Oh, and they're giving you a chest pump.

  • Oh, and you're liking it.

  • Oh, and you still can't breathe.

  • And you're almost to the hospital.

  • Oh, everybody's crying.

  • You're dying.

  • You don't know what's going on.

  • Then you get inside and then all of a sudden, everybody's looking at you.

  • They're trying to save you.

  • You might not make it or you might, but I think you're probably gonna be okay.

  • What do you think now?

  • Apparently there's one species of shrimp out of the thousands of species of shrimp worldwide that I'm definitely allergic to.

  • And as I was like on the pavement with my throat closing up in the ambulance was on its way.

  • But still, so far all I could think about was suing that shrimp.

  • Stay with me, Okay?

  • There's precedent for this.

  • Did you know that historically, it was very common for us to sue animals as far back as ancient Greece?

  • Animals who harmed humans were tried in court in the Middle Ages.

  • Animals who committed crimes against their human caretakers or neighbors would have the same type of trial as human offenders, including showing up to court and having a defense lawyer.

  • Your Honor, this lepidoptera has never even flown near that field.

  • Objection, Your Honor.

  • When the defendant was in the larval stage, he ate plants that did not belong to him.

  • Sustained counsel.

  • I advise you to remember that though your client emerged a beautiful butterfly, he is still responsible for his actions.

  • Pre cocoon.

  • It's true.

  • The most common trials were of pests that ruined crops.

  • And it did not stop in the modern era.

  • In 14 74 a rooster was accused of witchcraft and convicted for the unnatural crime of laying an egg.

  • As recent as 1924 a chimpanzee was arrested and found guilty for smoking a cigarette in public and ordered to pay a $5 fine.

  • So with that in mind, I would like to see that trip for attempted murder.

  • Hello?

  • Are you Mr Shrimp species?

  • 14 783.

  • Yeah, that's May Thies Air Court papers.

  • Honey, who is it?

  • I just got served For what?

  • I guess a almost killed somebody.

  • This video got really off the rails, but in all seriousness.

  • Very glad I'm alive.

  • You know, we just have to carry two EpiPens with me at all time and steer clear of all crustaceans.

  • They better steer clear of May I'm Anaconda and thank you to scrimp space for sponsoring today's video.

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In February of this year, I went into an epileptic shock and I thought I was going to die.

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