(crowds chattering)

(dogs barking)

- I'm Tanya.

I've run the adoption every Saturday

for the last two years.

I love seeing new pets into new homes.

There's really nothing like it.

Always glad to see the happiness on their faces

when they decide to get a new one.

I've got none of my own.

I wouldn't treat the little one right.

But, I love seeing others be happy.

Besides, I've got two humans

that drive me up the damn wall, already.

- Fill out this one with your address,

fill out that with your social security,

do not let the cat outside,

do give him love, and--

- Can I declaw?

- Do not say declaw in this establishment.

Moving on.

Do not let the--

I'm Marta, I'm 14, and I help my mom here at the shelter.

I'm the third smartest in my class,

and that's only because I don't take pre-calc,

which the second and first smartest are,

but I don't see the need for calculus

in what's turning into a mainly simple mathematical world.

It's called foresight.

I like Adventure Time and old Oprah episodes,

as well as One Direction and animal rights.

- Her dad's Hispanic.

My ex-boyfriend.

I wouldn't call him a dick,

and I wouldn't say say that I don't like him.

I would say that he didn't come home

six out of seven nights,

and walked out on us when she was five months.

- Since they're kittens, they're--

Hi, I'm Liliane.

I'm 16.

I do new pet shopping at the center.

It's whatever.

It can be fun, I guess.

Ugh, do not look at my phone case,

I need to get a new one.

I'm very over One Direction.

Super in love with Zane, though.

He's so sexy, now.

I have 1,435 followers on Instagram,

and I have the best boyfriend in the entire world, Shane.

We've been together for one month.

- Are you filming?

- [Liliane] Yeah!

- What?

Yeah!

Hi, babe.

- Oh, the other day, he went with me

to get my eyebrows done.

Cute, right?

And he serves, are you still rolling?

- Liliane?

Different dad.

My other ex.

My first ex.

I wouldn't call him a dick, either,

just a guy that had another girlfriend

and another daughter he forgot to tell me about.

So,

no.

Maybe, I'd call him a loving multitasker?

- So, you're gonna need cat litter, for sure.

Two bags should do the trick.

- Do I need it?

- Well, yeah,

I mean, where do you expect the cat to poop?

- Do they poop that much?

- Yeah, like, normal amounts, like

just like you.

Well, maybe not just like you,

'cause you're, like, a man or whatever.

- What?

- How's everything going?

- Listen, do I really need that much cat litter?

Are their poops as big as mine?

- How about instead of two bags,

we give you one case to start out with.

- Thank you, that sounds great.

- Mom, the case is the same price as the two bags.

- I know, Honey, but sometimes,

you gotta learn how to deal with customers,

and give them enough kitty litter to hold the bullshit.

- No

declawing!

- I didn't say declawing.

I just wondered if there was a way that--

- No.

- I could maybe-- - No.

- Stop the cat from scratching the furniture?

- You could clip his nails.

We could do it for you.

Come here, Snowflake.

- But won't they just grow back?

- I'm sorry, when you clip your fingernails,

do they just stay clipped forever,

or are you a magic person?

No?

Well, this isn't a magic cat.

- Just clip his nails.

- I'd be happy to.

Excuse me, Michelle.

- Yeah.

You want some?

They're for cats and people.

- Nope, no thanks.

- I know what you're thinking,

but they're delicious.

- That's Michelle.

Not the best with people.

Loves cats.

She's our neighbor, and she comes in

on Saturdays to help out.

- I really love cats.

Not all animals, just cats.

I had 11 cats growin' up..

They were named after The Jackson 5

and The Partridge Family.

I had a cat,

Pickles,

but he ran away.

And I can't get a new one,

because my landlord won't allow it,

but I'm gonna move soon.

So, it'll be great.

But it'll be sad, because I won't be near my best friend.

- Awe.

Yeah, I guess she is my best friend.

Michelle has lived by me through both exes,

both births.

She knows everything.

I almost know everything about her.

She does have a cat birthmark

on her tush.

- Right there.

- Yeah.

- I think it's a stray, I'm not sure.

- Okay, it's pretty. - Thank you.

- Good day, today.

10 kitties in new homes.

- Actually, that last customer made 11.

She'll be back for shots on Tuesday.

- Great!

- Great, can I go now?

- It's not five o'clock yet.

- Yeah, I know, but no one's coming in anyway,

and I really wanna meet Shane for ice cream down the street.

- You'll leave at five, this is a job, not playtime.

- That's for sure.

I didn't ask for this job, by the way,

you're technically making me work it.

It's like child labor laws.

- Not when you're a volunteer.

- It's okay, she can go, I'll clean up.

(gasping)

- Thank, you Michelle! - No problem.

- Get back here, young lady,

I didn't say you could go,

and I don't like Shane.

- Me neither.

- No one asked you, Marta.

You don't even like boys.

- I do, I'm just not on a one-way train

to becoming a pregnant slut anytime soon, like you!

- Take it easy!

I was once a pregnant slut.

You're welcome.

Liliane, you're staying.

(bells chiming)

- Come to the store five minutes before it...

Shit.

- Watch your mouth.

Shit.

- What do we do?

- What's wrong?

(screaming)

- That's Leslie McGee.

She's a serial adopter.

She's already adopted 12 cats from us.

There's no way you can house that many cats

and actually be taking proper care of them.

(metal clanging)

She's gotta be mistreating them,

we just can't prove it, yet.

- She's evil.

She's what happens when cat love goes wrong.

- She either has a psychological problem,

or is reselling her cats on the black market.

Either way, I'm not helping her out today.

- She's a cat abuser.

Okay, she doesn't even give them a good home.

I've been to her apartment.

She once tried to start a cat club

between the two of us.

She kept them in a cage

during the day.

- It was just bizarre.

Isn't that just bizarre?

Oh, I know!

- That lady is a serious cat hoarder.

I snapchatted a photo

of her walking her cat down Burke Street the other day.

She is so weird.

- She's the devil!

- Oh, she also found Michelle's cat when he ran away,

and kept him.

- The devil.

- How can we help you, Leslie?

- Yes, hello.

Good afternoon, Tanya.

Lovely to see you again.

This little Tabby is beautiful.

- Yes he is, and he needs a good home.

- Don't they all?

Ah, look at those little paws, and the whiskers.

- Wafer's already adopted.

- Oh really?

I didn't see an adoption tag.

- That's because it fell off,

and we don't have any more, so--

- He's still here,

which means he hasn't been taken yet,

so there's still a chance?

- It's me, I'm adopting him.

- What about your landlord?

- I don't know, I'll figure it out later,

I just don't want her to take him.

- Really?

Let me see your adoption papers, then.

- Yeah, of course.

Adoption papers, yeah, I got that.

Oh, there it is.

- Oh, actually, I couldn't quite see that.

- That's them, so--

- I actually couldn't,

you held them so fast - Here it is.

- If you look at 'em. - I couldn't actually see.

- Don't touch it! - I'd like to--

- Well.

Good for you, Michelle.

I guess I'll just wait till he runs away

like your last cat, and I'll take him in then.

- Okay, stop, Leslie.

- What?

It's not my fault if cats don't like her.

- Enough.

I am done servicing you, today.

You are a mean person, mean,

and apparently, can't handle the love of a cat.

So, from this day onward,

you can find yourself another adoption center.

- You can't do that.

I'll report you for denying services

to animals in need.

- We can and we will.

Oh, and by the way,

your skirt is three seasons old,

your sweatshirt was never a thing,

your hair looks like you used an iron on it

instead of a curler,

and you have weird earlobes.

Someone call the earlobe police.

- Get outta here.

- I'm reporting all of you!

And if I come back, and I see that kitten still in the cage,

I'll know you lied about adopting,

and there's nothing wrong with ironing hair!

- Thanks.

- No one talks to you like that, honey.

- I just snapchatted that,

I'm going to put it in reverse,

and then add a filter.