Today I'm here with Pear.

- Hello.

- And we're doing the brand name versus generic challenge.

You excited as I am Pear?

- Well, I'm often told I'm an expert at being generic so,

I think I'll do okay.

- Here's how it works.

We're gonna bring out two foods.

One of them is the famous brand name, the real deal,

the other is the generic brand, the fake version.

And we're gonna see if we can tell the difference.

- Wait.

We're not gonna eat these foods are we?

- What are we?

Cannibals?

No way!

We're gonna just get to know them.

- Okay. (sighs)

- But here's the fiery twist:

the one we don't fall for, goes into the incinerator.

Yeah. (laughs evilly)

- (sighs) There's always a fiery twist isn't there?

- Time for round one.

Brand name Oreo cookie versus generic brand knock-off.

- Hmmm.

They look pretty similar,

but let's definitely ask them some questions.

- Oreo A, tell us about yourself.

- Well um, I'm a cookie.

I'm pretty famous and

something you might not know about me

is that I really love cats.

- Okay.

I'm skeptical but, let's hear from Oreo B.

- Hi, I'm Or-ay-o.

I'm lactose intolerant and

dogs love me. (laughs)

- I've heard enough.

- Same here.

My vote is for Oreo A as the real Oreo cookie.

- I also vote for Oreo A.

(dings)

- [Apple] All right!

- Doh!

Was is that obvious?

- Dude, you didn't even pronounce your name correctly.

- What do ya mean?

Or-ay-o, how do you all say it?

- And a real Oreo cookie wouldn't be lactose intolerant.

Oreos love milk.

- Plus dogs can't eat chocolate,

so I seriously doubt dogs love you.

- So you know what that means.

Into the incinerator with Oreo B!

- Wait!

Incinerator?

What the heck did I sign up for?

(shouts)

(fire rages)

- Wow.

Glad you guys guessed correctly.

- You're welcome.

Now roll out Oreo, 'cause it's time for round two.

It's brand name Orange versus fake Orange.

- Wait, seriously?

- Hey!

- Hey!

- Heheheyy!

- Hey!

- (groans) Can we please get this round over with quickly

before they start--

- Wassap! - Wassap!

(both Oranges laughing)

- (groans) Stop it, stop it!

(sighs) Okay, sorry about that.

I'd just really like to get round two over with quickly.

- (laughs) Yeah, this will only take a minute.

(both Oranges laughing)

- Oh my gosh!

Can we just incinerate them both?

- Well, I'm gonna vote for Orange A.

There's something familiar about his laugh

that really makes me wanna punch myself in the face.

- And I'm voting for Orange B.

His teeth seem slightly more yellow to me.

- My breath is worse too.

(exhales deeply)

- (coughs and chokes) Gross!

(both Oranges laugh)

(dings)

- Okay, congrats to Pear.

You were correct!

You really know your Orange.

- Of course he does.

I'm his best friend.

(Pear groans)

- Well, I'll see you guys later.

I got a hot date. (laughs)

(fire rages) (screams)

- I'm gonna miss that guy.

He was so handsome. (laughs)

- Okay, get ready for the third and final round.

The best one yet.

Real brand Pear versus generic brand Pear.

- Hey guys.

I'm Pear B.

Great to be here!

- Wait.

What the?

I'm in round three?

- Quiet Pear A.

You don't get a vote anymore.

- Oh this is rich.

Does my voice really sound like that by the way?

- Hey hey Pear A,

you wanna tell us a little something about yourself?

- Not really.

You already know everything about me.

Because I'm the real Pear.

- Hmm.

That does sound a lot like something

the real Pear would say.

- Of course it does.

Besides, I'm standing exactly in the same place

I've been the entire video.

So clearly it's the real me!

- Excuse me, could I interrupt real quick?

Orange, I love the teeth.

They're looking whiter these days.

Did you switch toothpaste or something?

- Wow, I actually did.

I appreciate the compli-mint. (laughs)

- And Little Apple, have you put on weight?

- Wow!

Thank you so much for saying that.

I actually have been trying to bulk up recently.

- Oh my gosh!

Fake Pear is such a suck up!

- Tell us a little bit about yourself Pear B.

- Well, I don't wanna bore you.

- That'll be nice for once. (laughs)

- Oh, har har!

- But when I'm not volunteering at the animal shelter

or the soup kitchen, I like to crochet

fun hats for my friends.

Here you go guys.

- Wow!

This is fun!

- Yeah, it's a real ball. (laughs)

- (laughs) Thanks Pear. (laughs)

- Very amusing.

But can we not refer to him as Pear?

I'm Pear.

- Mmm I don't know.

I kinda want Pear B to be the real Pear.

- Yeah, Pear B is so much nicer than Pear is.

- This isn't a popularity contest.

You don't get to decide which Pear is actually Pear.

- Hmmm.

This decision became really tough.

- Should we do eeny meeny miny moe?

- What!

No, no no no no. (record scratches)

We're not going down this path.

Vote for me right now!

Incinerate this imposter immediately!

- Yeah, I'd rather keep him around.

- No!

This will not stand!

I am Pear!

I am Pear!

- Okay okay okay, how 'bout this?

From now on, you can go by Pear.

- Which is my name so thank you

for allowing me to go by my own name.

- And he'll go by Cool Pear.

- What?

- I'm okay with that.

- Well of course you're okay with that Fake Pear.

- I'm sorry, are you speaking to me?

My name's Cool Pear.

(Pear groans)

- Well, that does it for today's episode.

Thanks for watching.

What do ya say we sign off

by tossing a stick of TNT into the incinerator?

- Absolutely not! (record scratches)

- I wasn't asking you Pear.

I was asking Cool Pear.

- Sure, why not?

- Yeah! - Yeah!

- No! (exploding)

(upbeat music)