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  • - [Orange] Fruit-lovers, I'll get right to the point.

  • Knife is my co-host on today's episode of "How 2!"

  • - [Knife] (laughs) Yes, it's slice

  • to finally be here, Orange.

  • I'm extremely excited because today

  • we're showing the audience "How 2" eat an orange. (cackles)

  • (record scratches)

  • Wait, why aren't you scared?

  • - [Orange] Me?

  • - [Knife] Yes, you.

  • Nothing bothers you about today's video?

  • - [[Orange] Not really.

  • I mean it is a little off-putting

  • to see you with a wooden handle, but--

  • - [Knife] Ignore my handle, I'm trying something new.

  • - [Orange] Oh no, are you having

  • a mid-knife crisis? (laughs)

  • - [Knife] Ugh, Orange, you're not bothered by today's topic?

  • The topic of "How 2 Eat an Orange"?

  • - [Orange] Nah, sounds fun.

  • - [Knife] Well, I must say I agree.

  • Shall we begin?

  • - [Orange] Step One, wash the orange

  • - [Knife] I guess that is a good place to start.

  • I mean, you should rinse off the fruit

  • before putting it in your mouth.

  • - [Orange] Yep, so give it a nice long soak.

  • (water splashing)

  • Maybe some bubbles?

  • Ooh and a bath bomb.

  • Oh, that's nice.

  • Candles would be nice too.

  • - [Knife] Ugh, why do I feel like

  • you might be enjoying this a bit too much?

  • - [Orange] What?

  • I deserve it.

  • It's my last day alive, remember?

  • - [Knife] (sighs) That is true.

  • Still, I'd like to cut straight to Step Two. (cackles)

  • - [Orange] Step Two, massage the orange for a while.

  • (record scratches)

  • - [Knife] Excuse me?

  • - [Orange] You heard me, gimme a massage.

  • It loosens up my skin, that way it peels off more easily.

  • - [Knife] Oh, well that's a good point. (whistles off)

  • Get over here and give this orange a massage right now.

  • - [Orange] (giggles) Yeah, and some oil would be nice.

  • Get way in there.

  • Oh yeah, that's nice.

  • - [Knife] All right, I believe it's time for Step Three.

  • - [Orange] Whatever you say, Knifey.

  • Step Three, after you're done massaging the orange,

  • give it a couple compliments.

  • Maybe a couple bucks, too.

  • (record scratches)

  • - [Knife] Okay, now you're just being ridiculous.

  • - [Orange] Is it ridiculous of me to want to feel good

  • about myself at the end of my life?

  • - [Knife] Er, I guess not.

  • - [Orange] And is it ridiculous of me to want

  • to have some money to cover burial expenses?

  • - [Knife] (sighs) No, it's not ridiculous.

  • Here, here's a couple bucks.

  • - [Orange] Thank you, now on to Step Four.

  • Buy dozens of decoy oranges

  • with the money you just got. (laughs)

  • - [Knife] Wait, what's happening?

  • - [Orange] Step Five, now you can cut the orange in half.

  • - [Knife] Well it's about time!

  • But which one of you is the real Orange?

  • - [Orange] I'm over here.

  • - [Knife] (grunts) What the?

  • - [Orange] (laughs) No, over here.

  • - [Knife] (grunts) Grr.

  • - [Orange] (laughs) Maybe you've noticed

  • I've filled the decoys with surprises.

  • - [Knife] I'll give you a surprise!

  • - [Orange] (laughs) Colder.

  • Colder!

  • Warmer.

  • Hotter.

  • (laughs) You couldn't be hotter.

  • You're fire-hot.

  • You're on fire!

  • (suspenseful music)

  • - [Knife] I've waited a long time for this moment, Orange.

  • Say goodbye!

  • - [Orange] No, you're on fire!

  • - [Knife] Huh?

  • What the?

  • (Knife screams) (Orange laughs)

  • (fire crackles)

  • (silly music)

- [Orange] Fruit-lovers, I'll get right to the point.

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HOW2: How to Eat an Orange!

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    Summer posted on 2020/08/20
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