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  • Hello. I'm Jade. What we're talking about today is an aspect of grammar. When is it

  • okay to say somebody's name and then followed by "and me" or "and I" or "and myself"? This

  • is an aspect of grammar that native speakers get confused about. But more than just confused

  • about, they avoid -- completely avoid sentences where they might say your friend's name "and

  • me". They completely avoid it because in British English, at least, it does have this association

  • with being common language, not being posh language. And people avoid it because they

  • don't want to sound common. But actually, there's a lot of misunderstanding about it.

  • Saying "and me" is really, really judged. But if you used it in a grammatically correct

  • way, there's absolutely nothing wrong can saying "and me". In fact, sometimes people

  • are wrong because they try to avoid it. So what you'll learn in this lesson, if you're

  • a native speaker, you'll not be confused anymore, but if you're learning English as well, maybe

  • you had a confusion about it, and you didn't really understand why it's different sometimes.

  • So you'll learn, and you won't be confused anymore.

  • So let's check what you already know. I've got some example sentences. Let's see if they're

  • right. Let's see if they're wrong. "Me and Tom went skiing." How does that one sound

  • to you? Did you think that one's right? This one is wrong. This one is wrong. We're going

  • to look at why later. But this one is wrong.

  • Second one. "Amjad and me played football." How is this one? This one is wrong. Slightly

  • better than the first because it's considered more polite to put the other person before

  • yourself. So it's slightly better in that respect, but still wrong.

  • Next example. "My mum and I went for lunch." What do you think about that one? Is that

  • one okay? This one's okay.

  • What about this one? "I and Janet study French." How does that one feel? Well, actually, this

  • one just sounds wrong. It should be swapped. If we say "Janet and I', it's okay, but no

  • one would really say it like that.

  • And this example -- more and more, people are saying "myself" because I think they're

  • a bit -- I have to tell you something else. In British English, if you say "and I" all

  • the time, it makes you sound quite grand and a little bit posh. And not everybody wants

  • to use that language. Not everybody wants to feel like they're using elegant language.

  • And for them, they don't like to say it. So it's being replaced a lot with "myself". Someone

  • might say "my mum and myself". So here's an example. "Myself and Leo are going on holiday."

  • How is this? Well, with "myself", you can put it first or you can put it second. You

  • can change the position. It's okay. My feeling about "myself" is also that it's a little

  • bit too formal just for everyday conversation. So I personally don't use it. I prefer the

  • other two ways of saying it, either the name "and I" or "me", as we'll get to in a minute.

  • So when we come back, we're going to look at the actual grammar. Why can we say it "and

  • I" sometimes, or why can we say "and me" sometimes?

  • Let's take a look at the grammatical reason why there's a difference and sometimes we

  • say "and I", and sometimes we say "and me". Well, it all comes down to the position of

  • the pronoun you're talking about. So if the sentence is correct, if "I" is in the subject

  • position -- so I'm talking about grammar now. How do you know it's in the subject position?

  • Well, you find the verb, the main verb. Here's the main verb. And if it's before the main

  • verb, then, it's in the subject position. But if it's after the main verb, it's in the

  • object position. So we have a name, and we have "I" -- "I" the pronoun. These are both

  • in the subject position. So this one's correct. These are all correct here as examples, but

  • we'll go through them all one by one.

  • "My husband and I like gardening." Where's the main verb in there? "Like" is the main

  • verb. Let's have a look at the subject position, then. "My husband", also "I" in the subject

  • position. This one is fine also.

  • A new example. "Ryan, Paul, and I share a flat." You can have more than one name in

  • a list, and then have it followed by "I". That's absolutely fine. Main verb is "share".

  • Everything before "share" is in the subject position. "I" is in the subject position.

  • It's okay.

  • And the next example is a question. "Shall Sarah and I help with the dishes?" "Shall"

  • is a verb, but it's not the main verb. "Help" is the main verb. Everything before "help"

  • is in the subject position. So "Sarah", the name, is in the subject position. But also,

  • "I" is in the subject position. So of course, this one's okay.

  • Now, when can we say "me"? When can we say "me"? The thing that confuses everyone. We

  • can say "me" if it's in the object position. So let's take a look and compare. "Sheila

  • invited Stacy and me." How do we know if it's in the object position? Well, we find the

  • main verb. Remember before, it's to the left of the verb? Well, this time, the object position

  • is to the right of the verb. So "Stacy" is a name. And "me" is in the object position,

  • so it's right. It's right. It's okay. You don't have to worry. You don't have to worry

  • that people are going to think you're common because you're saying it correctly.

  • Next example. "My boss asked me to stay late." Where's the main verb there? Because it's

  • a little bit confusing because there are two verbs. Well, the main verb is "asked". And

  • this is just the continuation of the sentence is in the present simple. So this is the second

  • verb. It's not the main verb. Everything before the main verb -- subject. After the main verb,

  • we're talking about the object position, now. And there's only "me" there. There's only

  • one pronoun. That's your object. There's no other name here or anything, so "me" is absolutely fine.

  • Next example. "Tom's sister reminded Jane and me to feed the cat." Again, no full stop.

  • What's our main verb? "Reminded" is our main verb here. So let's mark that. What's the

  • subject? Well, the subject position is "Tom's sister". What's in the object position? First

  • of all, "Jane" the name is in the object position. And that's followed by "me" as a pronoun.

  • So again, this one's okay. We don't need to worry about that. We can say that.

  • And let's look at the question form. "Will Alex apologize to Chris and me?" When we're

  • asking questions, the first question word or verb, that's not the main verb. The main

  • verb here is "apologize". To the left of the main verb, here's the subject. We don't see

  • "me" there, so there's no problem there. In the object position, do we see "me"? Yes,

  • we see "me".

  • But what we're going to do just now is find a way to check if your sentences are right.

  • Because if you're still not that confident using "and me", when you've got this check,

  • you'll be okay whenever you're writing in English. And then after, when you've said

  • it lots of times -- when you've written it loads of times and you feel more comfortable,

  • you'll be more comfortable in speech also.

  • So how to check that it's okay to say "and I" or it's okay to say "and me"? So you don't

  • even need to worry about subject and object. There's an easier way. Let's have a look at

  • the easy way.

  • So you remove the other name from the sentence. And if it makes sense, then it's okay. But

  • if it sounds wrong, you've got it the wrong way around. So we'll go through some examples here.

  • "Tom and I went to the party." We want to keep "I" there because we're checking to see

  • if it's okay here in this position. So I'm going to remove the other name. I'll just

  • use my finger. Rub it out. Does it make sense? "I went to the party." Yes, it makes sense.

  • Correct. I'll give it a tick.

  • And what about this one? "Tom and me went to the party." We're going to keep "me" in,

  • remove the other name. Does it make sense? "Me went to the party." It's okay in different

  • varieties of English, but not British or American English. It's definitely not standard. It's wrong.

  • And what's this one? This one's terrible. "Me and Tom went to the party." This is the

  • one that -- it's a really common one that really scares some people, and they don't

  • like to say that. So you hear it, but this is the one that I'm talking about that people

  • really don't like. So we don't need to check that one.

  • Next one. "Sheila invited me and Stacy." Okay, there's more than one name here, so what do

  • we do? We want to know if "me" is right. So let's take away the name closest to it because

  • it's in the -- it's either in the subject position or the object position with "me".

  • So we don't want it. By the way, it's in the object position. Does it make sense without

  • it? "Sheila invited me." Does it make sense? Yes.

  • And our last example. "Sheila invited Stacy and I." We've got the same thing happening.

  • We've got more than one name. So we need to remove the name closest to the pronoun. Does

  • it make sense when I remove that? Does it make sense? "Sheila invited I." No. Not okay.

  • So it should be clearer to you now. When you get more familiar with this structure and

  • you're saying it in speech, it does become a natural thing after a while. You don't need

  • to think about it. There's a quiz for you to do. You can go to www.engvid.com and do

  • the quiz. And then -- yeah, you don't need to be worried about all this. Is it posh?

  • Is it common stuff? You can say it with confidence whenever you say "name 'and me'". You don't

  • need to worry.

  • If you liked my video, please do subscribe to my EngVid channel. I'd really appreciate

  • it. Plus you can subscribe to my personal channel because I've got two YouTube channels.

  • On my personal channel, there are more than 200 videos there. So you can learn loads and

  • loads and loads and loads of stuff from me. I'm finished now, but please come and watch

  • me again. And yeah. Bye-bye.

Hello. I'm Jade. What we're talking about today is an aspect of grammar. When is it

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