You know what the whole trouble with you is, Charlie Brown?

No.

And I don't wanna know.

Leave me alone.

The whole trouble with you is you won't listen to what the whole trouble with you is.

You need someone to point out your faults, Charlie Brown.

It's for your own good, and I can do that.

My system is unique.

What's so unique about it?

I've created a slideshow presentation.

Okay, turn out the lights.

First, Charlie Brown, we'll look at slides that deal with your many personality faults.

Some of them are quite shocking.

Take this one, for instance.

Easy, easy.

This is only the beginning.

Next are slides of your inherited faults.

In other words, these are faults over which you had no real control.

These take about an hour or so.

Oh, good grief.

If it's any consolation, you rank above average in inherited faults.

I stand consoled.

Now, these slides show your biggest and most damaging faults.

Because of their importance, they will be shown in full color with dramatic music.

Turn it off, I can't stand it any longer.

I can't stand it.

I've never gone through anything like that in my life.

I never knew I had so many faults.

I've never been so miserable.

It's not so bad, Charlie Brown.

Just wait until you get my bill.

I don't feel so good.

What's wrong, Charlie Brown?

He's probably been hit on the head by too many fly balls.

I think I'll go home.

Yes, sir.

Too many fly balls.

Yes, ma'am.

My name is Charles Brown.

I think I have an emergency.

Hello.

No, I'm his sister, Sally Brown.

He's in the hospital, but who will feed the dog?

I wonder if I'm dying.

I wonder if they'd tell me I was dying.

I wonder if the little red-haired girl would rush to my side.

I've got to stop thinking about things like that.

I can't believe that Charlie Brown is still in the hospital.

What if he never gets better?

It's not fair.

It's strange you're so upset because you treat him so poorly.

Stop wiping your tears on my piano.

Sally says Charlie Brown isn't feeling any better, and she's moving her things into his room.

I know you can't hear me, Charlie Brown, but if you get better, I promise I'll never pull the football away again.

That's quite a promise.

I bet he feels better already.

You know, I suddenly feel great.

Charlie Brown, you're back.

- You're well. -I heard something about a promise.

Oh, good grief.

Remember, you promised.

You have to let me kick the football.

I don't know about this, Charlie Brown.

There's no stopping me now.

I can't look.

Well, I did it.

I kept my promise.

I didn't pull the football away.

Yes, and I messed up and kicked you instead of the football.

I'm sorry.

Is there anything I can do?

Yes.

Next time you go to the hospital,

stay there.

Charlie Brown, did you catch that?

You've got great hands.

-I do? -Why you standing out here all alone on the pitcher's mound?

Baseball season's over.

Let's play some football.

I don't know.

I'm not very good at football.

I can never seem to kick one.

So kicking's not your specialty.

Maybe you can throw.

You might have the makings of a world-class quarterback.

Me, a quarterback?

Do you really think so?

Sure.

I'll show you how to throw like a pro.

First off, the tips of your fingers should touch the laces.

That's right.

Now, grab the football like a sandwich.

What type of sandwich?

And pull the ball behind your ear.

Just like that.

This is important.

Square your shoulders with the goalpost.

Now you're aiming.

I am?

Now, step toward your target and lean on your back foot and push all your weight into the throw.

This is the critical part, Charlie Brown.

You've got to try and see over your blocker and find your wide receiver.

-I do? -Call the play.

The receiver fakes right.

He fakes left.

He's sprinting to the 15 yard line.

Is there enough time for him to get into position?

Is the receiver clear?

Will your pass be intercepted?

Do you call an alternative play?

Do you run the ball?

I don't know.

You start to run, but the pass is not clear.

The guards can't hold the line, you've got to throw the ball, Charlie Brown, throw the ball, throw it!

So, you wanna play football, Charlie Brown?

It's gonna be a long season.

The old pitcher's mound.

You and I have spent a lot of time up here.

I love baseball.

I could play baseball every day of my life.

You're an unusual girl.

Let's say it's the last half of the ninth inning, two out, and you are up to bat, Chuck.

Even though you're my friend, I still have to try and strike you out, right?

Of course, there's no other way to play the game.

You kind of like me, don't you, Charlie?

I worked up the schedule for our teams.

Take a look and tell me what you think.

You touched my hand, Chuck, you sly dog.

I have a problem, Linus.

I think Chuck likes me.

He's nice and all that.

But how could I flip over someone like Chuck?

I could strike him out in three straight pitches.

If a person likes another person,

but that other person doesn't like the first person as much as that first person likes the other person,

what should the other person do?

Say that again?

If a person likes another person, but that other person doesn't like the first person as much as that first person likes the other person, what should the other person do?

I don't know.

I don't wanna hurt Chuck, but how can I possibly look him in the eye and tell him I don't like him as much as he likes me?

Write him a "Dear Chuck" letter?

Linus, you're a genius.

Look, look, I got a letter.

I think it's from the little red-haired girl.

What?

I know you like me, and in my own way, I like you too.

Did you hear that?

She likes me too.

That's not from the little red-haired girl, Chuck.

It's from me.

You like me!

I do?

How can you be so stupid, Chuck?

Your heart is breaking and you don't even know it.

I don't?

By golly, if I ever hit a deep drive into center field, and I ran first base, and I ran on second base, and I ran on third base, and I go tearing into home like a runaway freight,

you better not be in my way!

That's the longest story that I've ever heard.

Stop breathing on me.

You're supposed to be in bed.

But I can't sleep.

Go count sheep or something.

Can't you see I'm watching TV?

What's the matter with you?

Counting sheep is a good idea,

although I feel a little bad about waking the sheep.

I hope they don't mind working nights.

1, 2, do you find it rewarding to help people fall asleep?

3,4, wait!

I've counted you already. One at a time, one at a time!

28, 29. You're going too fast. Slow down.

Hey, don't eat that! That's my homework.

49, 50. Stop moving around so much.

55, 56. Stop!

What's all this whacking about? Be quiet and go to sleep!

Baa!