B1 Intermediate 4 Folder Collection
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-Thank you for being here, buddy.
-Thanks, sonny. -You're looking good, man.
You got a little summer tan there.
-Yeah, I was in Miami, livin' it up.
-A little thing called a tan, pale-face.
Jealous? -I'm not jealous at all.
What are you talking about? I heard this. Is this true?
I know you've been doing stand-up for probably 16 years.
-Yeah, and I love it.
-And I heard this is -- I'm gonna read this here.
It says here you're doing a sold-out show at Yankee Stadium.
-Yes. -Wow. I mean, that --
-I'm very proud of that. -Is that right? Yankee Stadium?
Is that -- Wow. -Yes.
-Is that right? -Mm-hmm.
-Wow. -I'm very, very proud of it.
-You're very proud of that. Wow. Oh, my gosh.
And you're gonna be there, at Yankee Stadium,
doing stand-up comedy?
-All right, I'm lying. -Yeah, that's right.
-But it sounds good. Stand-up's hard, though.
You got to watch everything you say.
Like, did you hear at Berkeley? You know, politically correct.
You can't say -- the plate in the street -- manhole.
Can't say that. It's a maintenance hole.
Can't say brother or sister. It's sibling.
Can't -- Sorry.
Your couch is itching my maintenance hole.
-Hey, Jon...
I'm happy to have you here, because -- You know why.
You have a thing that I'm very interested in.
You have a thing called -- I love impressions.
And you have a thing called...
-I just know you so well. It's ridiculous.
-I know. It's ridiculous, right?
-Hey, you were always -- You were so --
By the way, before I get into this,
because I just want to say thank you because you've always been
so great to me and always so nice to me.
You remember when I first met you, with Brian Hooks --
-At Dodger Stadium.
He goes, "Can you meet my friend, Jimmy Fallon?
He just got 'Saturday Night Live.'"
I said, "Sure. What's his name?" "Jimmy."
-And I said -- No, do what you did.
"Hi, Jimmy. Nice to meet you." Go ahead. Do what you did.
-I don't do that anymore. -"I'm Jon Lovitz."
What'd you do?
Yeah. -I was in awe. I love you, man.
You're my favorite -- But I love you.
You're one of the funniest people I have ever --
-Being here again means more to me than I can express.
I really appreciate it. -Really?
-Yes. -Thank you.
Now I'm not lying.
-How do you know if you're lying or not?
But you do something that I'm very interested in.
You do impressions. -Yeah.
-And this is -- It's called layered impressions.
-Yeah. Like, Dana Carvey's great.
He does impressions.
He goes, "I abstract the person to the point of ridiculousness
and make it funny."
And then, so, I'm like, "I can't do that,
but I can do what's called layered impressions."
So, like, this is my impression.
This is Michael Caine imitating Paul McCartney imitating me.
-Michael Caine imitating Paul McCartney imitating you,
Jon Lovitz.
-Right. -Here we go.
-Hello. I'm Jon Lovitz.
[ Applause ]
Michael Caine is not very good at impressions.
All right. This is my impression.
This Bob Dylan imitating Paul McCartney imitating me.
"Hey...I'm Jon Lovitz."
-Wow. See?
That was -- that was actually -- -Bob's good.
-Bob is actually good at impressions.
I did not know that. -Yes.
Now, this is not a layered impression.
This is my impression of my sex life.
-All right, all right. Good. Very good.
Now, Jon --
[ Applause ]
-Well, they're laughing.
-I met your dog backstage, by the way.
What a cute dog. -Oh, my dog.
Yeah, I love him.
His name is Jerry Bruckheimer III.
-You named him after Jerry Bruckheimer,
the famous movie --
-The film producer.
Yeah. Well, I'm very good friends with him.
I like to name my animals after my friends.
I did that with cats, Jerry and Linda Bruckheimer,
but Linda was -- The cat was nuts.
I had to get rid of her.
And then my cat Jerry passed away.
It was very sad.
And then I was in a rescue pet store and I saw this dog, Jerry,
and he was so great.
But you got to get one. He rescued me.
I mean, they're unbelievable.
But I actually have a cat named Jimmy Fallon.
And it's crazy. People call me on the phone.
I go, "Yeah, how is it going?
You want to go -- Oh!
Jimmy Fallon just took a big crap in the litter box.
He didn't even bother to cover it up."
-Come on. -You want to see the dog?
He's here. He's very cute. [ Cheers and applause ]
Well, bring him out. -Can we bring him out?
Can we bring the dog out? -Whose show is this?
There he is. -Hi. Hey, bud.
-Hello, Jerry. Come on. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Talented. -Come here.
-No. Aww.
Jon, that's very -- Aww! No, no.
This is -- Oh, come on. Aww, what a good -- Yeah.
Give me a big hug.
Does he do -- Do you want to put him on his leash there, Jon?
-No. Jer-- Oh, I guess -- Where are you going?
-Does he do tricks or anything?
-Yeah, he does everything I say. Watch. Walk over there.
Come back. Come up here. Now sit in the corner.
Turn around, circle, and sit.
Lick your nose.
-Wow. -I can train anybody.
-That's a really talented dog. -I can train you. Watch.
Laugh. Laugh more. Tilt your head.
Breathe in. Put your hands on your face.
Lean back.
Hands on the desk. Say "all right."
-All right. All right. -Go to the next segment.
-Let's go to the next segment.
Let's talk about "Funny You Should Ask."
-It's a game show I do.
Byron Allen, who's a stand-up and --
He's, you know, a mogul now. He created the show.
You can win money, contestants, but it's really
six comedians just cracking jokes for 23 minutes.
Which is a good thing. Everybody laughs.
There's a lot of great comics on it.
-Absolutely. -I love doing it. It's fun.
-Especially now. You just need good laugh.
-Exactly. -I want to show a clip here.
-Especially now.
-The great Jon Lovitz on "Funny You Should Ask."
Take a look at this.
-Sexsomnia is a condition in which
a person engages in sexual acts while still asleep.
-Sounds like someone has a great lawyer.
-14 is the average number of times
each person passes gas daily.
-[ Grunts ] 15.
-In Elizabethan England, the word "nothing"
was slang for a woman's private parts.
-Well, good, because when I take a woman to dinner,
I expect nothing in return.
-Jon Lovitz, everybody! -Thank you.
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Jon Lovitz Shows Off His Layered Impressions and Adorable Rescue Dog

4 Folder Collection
林宜悉 published on July 3, 2020
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