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We like to think of romantic feelings as spontaneous and indescribable things that come from the heart.
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But it's actually your brain running a complex series of calculations within a matter of seconds that's responsible for determining attraction.
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Doesn't sound quite as poetic, does it?
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But just because the calculations are happening in your brain, doesn't mean those warm, fuzzy feelings are all in your head.
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In fact, all five of your senses play a role.
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Each able to vote for or veto a budding attraction.
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The eyes are the first components in attraction.
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Many visual beauty standards vary between cultures and eras,
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and signs of youth, fertility, and good health, such as long lustrous hair, or smooth, scar-free skin, are almost always in demand because they're associated with reproductive fitness.
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And when the eyes spot something they like, our instinct is to move closer, so the other senses can investigate.
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The nose's contribution to romance is more than noticing perfume or cologne.
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It's able to pick up on natural chemical signals known as pheromones.
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These not only convey important physical or genetic information about their source, but are able to activate a physiological or behavioral response in the recipient.
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In one study, a group of women at different points in their ovulation cycles wore the same t-shirts for three nights.
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After male volunteers were randomly assigned to smell either one of the worn shirts, or a new unworn one,
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saliva samples showed an increase in testosterone in those who had smelled a shirt worn by an ovulating woman.
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Such a testosterone boost may give a man the nudge to pursue a woman he might not have otherwise noticed.
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A woman's nose is particularly attuned to MHC molecules, which are used to fight disease.
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In this case, opposites attract.
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When a study asked women to smell t-shirts that had been worn by different men, they preferred the odors of those whose MHC molecules differed from theirs.
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This makes sense.
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Genes that result in a greater variety of immunities may give offspring a major survival advantage.
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Our ears also determine attraction.
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Men prefer females with high-pitched, breathy voices, and wide formant spacing, correlated with smaller body size.
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While women prefer low-pitched voices with a narrow formant spacing that suggest a larger body size.
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And not surprisingly, touch turns out to be crucial for romance.
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In this experiment, not realizing the study had begun, participants were asked to briefly hold the coffee, either hot or iced.
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Later, the participants read a story about a hypothetical person, and were asked to rate their personality.
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Those who had held the hot cup of coffee perceived the person in the story as happier, more social, more generous, and better-natured
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than those who had held the cup of iced coffee, who rated the person as cold, stoic, and unaffectionate.
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If a potential mate has managed to pass all these tests, there's still one more: the infamous first kiss.
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A rich and complex exchange of tactile and chemical cues, such as the smell of one's breath and the taste of their mouth.
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This magical moment is so critical that a majority of men and women have reported losing their attraction to someone after a bad first kiss.
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Once attraction is confirmed, your bloodstream is flooded with norepinephrine, activating your fight-or-flight system.
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Your heart beats faster, your pupils dilate, and your body releases glucose for additional energy.
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Not because you're in danger, but because your body is telling you that something important is happening.
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To help you focus,
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norepinephrine creates a sort of tunnel vision, blocking out surrounding distractions, possibly even warping your sense of time, and enhancing your memory.
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This might explain why people never forget their first kiss.
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The idea of so much of our attraction being influenced by chemicals and evolutionary biology may seem cold and scientific rather than romantic.
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But the next time you see someone you like, try to appreciate how your entire body is playing matchmaker to decide if that beautiful stranger is right for you.