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  • Alright, it's the last day of school before summer break.

  • Everybody's screwing off for the last few hours of the school year.

  • Your teacher's sitting there and smoking a cigarette.

  • She's pissed off. She's gonna lose the paycheck for the next three months.

  • "Yeah, I hope you little assholes have a good vacation!"

  • "Now I have to supplement my income by being a waitress at a goddamn Applebee's all summer long."

  • But you didn't care about her problems.

  • All you cared about was freedom.

  • "Oh my God! We're gonna do so much stuff!"

  • "Think about all the stuff that we're gonna do!"

  • I got a huge list of stuff and things that we're gonna do all summer long.

  • And at the start of your summer vacation, it's pretty sweet.

  • You're throwing your vortex footballs around and drinking your Capri Suns,

  • but then like three days go by, all of a sudden, you're bored as hell!

  • You did all that stuff that you had planned!

  • And you did all the things as well.

  • Now you don't know what to do with yourself.

  • You're just standing there in your front yard, staring at each other.

  • The hot-ass summer sun's burning your pale skin.

  • "Jesus Christ, Michael, I am so sick of looking at your stupid fucking face, you know that?"

  • "With your dumb haircut and your stupid Scotty Pippen jersey!"

  • "We're done playing all your Nintendo games."

  • "And we broke all your wrestling action figures, so now what the hell are we supposed to do?"

  • So you get a little desperate. You start making up games to play.

  • And the games, they aren't even really games.

  • It's just things that you throw together, off the cuff.

  • There's not even a point to them.

  • "Hey, you guys wanna play 'dodge the cars on the busy intersection'?"

  • "Yeah, okay, let's do it!"

  • Just games that were a little dangerous, you know, games you couldn't win, but you could sure as shit lose, that's for sure.

  • "Alright, Tommy, we're gonna see how many times you can hit that beehive over there with this hockey stick."

  • "Let's see if you can break the record. The record is...zero!"

  • "Alright, you ready?"

  • "Okay, let's do it!"

  • "Ah, man, he's like Macaulay Culkin in My Girl!"

  • "His glasseshe can't see without his glasses!"

  • Sometimes we'd go out and we'd play in the rain.

  • That was an activity to us, something that we looked forward to doing.

  • "Ah, sweet, it's raining!"

  • "Let's go get our swimsuits on and see how sick we can get!"

  • "I bet I can get sicker than you!"

  • "You're on!"

  • David's already got his shirt off.

  • Michael's somewhere drinking out of the gutter.

  • Michael was a weird kid.

  • He'd do this thing where he'd collect water in a garbage can lid.

  • And he'd just dump it all over himself.

  • "It's a waterfall!"

  • "Michael, you sick animal, what are you doing?"

  • "You're gonna get typhus, or some shit!"

  • "You backwards idiot, what the hell is the matter with you?"

  • There'd be like a tornado warning on TV.

  • Somebody's parents would be like: "Hey, you guys being careful out there?"

  • "Yeah, we're being careful!"

  • Sometimes, when it was raining really hard, we would play a game called "twister."

  • No, not the game with the spinner and the dots!

  • That your uncle would try to make you play naked, not that one!

  • Twister, like the movie, 1996. Bill Paxton, God rest his soul, did some of his worst acting ever.

  • "Oh no, Helen Hunt, it's an F5 tornado. I'm super scared right now."

  • We'd all fight over what characters we were gonna be.

  • "I'm gonna be Bill Paxton!"

  • "Well, shit, okay, I'm gonna be Philip Seymour Hoffman then."

  • "Well, who the hell am I supposed to be now?"

  • "I don't know, Michael, I guess you're Helen Hunt, okay? Sorry, you are a girl."

  • "Go put a mop on your head or some shit. I could really give a shit."

  • "Oh, hell no, I'm not being a girl. How about I be..."

  • "The cow that gets sucked up by the tornado?"

  • "A cow? You're gonna be a cow, Michael? Are you serious?"

  • "Michael, you're not being a fucking cow, alright?"

  • "Alright, I guess I'll be..."

  • "the tornado!"

  • "How the hell are you gonna be a tornado, Michael, you serious?"

  • "You know what, to hell with it, be the tornado. I could care less."

  • In this movie, they would chase tornadoes around in a convoy of vans,

  • but since we were children, we didn't have a convoy of vans.

  • We had to use a wagon.

  • And we don't have any tornadoes to chase.

  • So we had to use...

  • Well, we used Michael!

  • "I am a tornado!"

  • "What the hell is that? What are you doing?"

  • "Is that what a tornado sounds like to you?"

  • "I am an F5 tornado!"

  • Our parents would be watching us from the window, wondering where the hell they went wrong with raising us.

  • "I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna suck you silly!"

  • We'd just run around the neighborhood like a bunch of drunken idiots.

  • You'd come back in your house late at night, sopping wet.

  • "Jesus Christ, you look like a soggy turd, you know that?"

  • "Did you have fun out there?"

  • "Uh...well...almost some, I guess."

  • You go to your friend's house the next day. Their parents answer the door.

  • "Can Michael come out and play?"

  • "No, he caught pneumonia last night. He's dead. Thanks a lot!"

  • And that was summer vacation.

  • Sometimes you got hurt.

  • Sometimes you ended up dead.

  • You're back to school in the fall.

  • And the teacher is asking everybody if they had a good summer.

  • "Yeah, we went to Mount Rushmore, and we got a puppy!"

  • I'm over there. I got my arm in a sling with a black eye, looking like Mankind after a Hell in a Cell match.

  • "Well, for my summer, let's see...I got hit by a Volkswagen."

  • "I got stung 47 times by a bunch of bees."

  • "And three of my friends died from exposure."

  • "So no, not quite as good as Mrs. Mount Rushmore Puppy's over there."

Alright, it's the last day of school before summer break.

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B1 US tornado michael summer cow summer vacation vacation

Brewstew - Summer Vacation

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    lauren.huang posted on 2020/07/24
Video vocabulary