Name: Dr. Sue Johnson on Hold Me Tight
Uploaded: 2014-05-02T06:36:35.000Z
Duration: 3 min 17 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

The imperative

Hold Me Tight, is different from other self-help books because it has a huge amount of science

behind it. It's really based on a whole new understanding, a whole new science of love.

To-infinitive

And so it's not just, sort of, some advice on how to improve your relationship, it's

really about understanding love in a whole new way, and understanding what responses

really matter, how to really create this connection with your partner. So it's a mixture of science

and stories from all the couples I have seen over the years, and then exercises that you

can take and do yourself, so that you can benefit from all this science and research

that we have done over the last 20 years. Psychologists and psychiatrists started coming

up and saying "You know what? Maybe emotional connection between human beings is like oxygen.

Maybe it's something incredibly basic that people need. Maybe like isolation, this need

is wired into our brain by evolution and isolation is actually dangerous for us. Attachment theory

turns this "mystery" of love, this thing that people have talked about for years as some

form of mysterious mixture of sex and sentiment into an open book, into a system that makes

perfect sense. It's all about survival. It's a primal survival code that's built in by

evolution. If you were in crisis, it will help you understand what the crisis is all

about and move out of it, and repair your relationship. This is true, but it's also

for couples who have a good relationship now and who want to enhance that relationship,

keep it strong and make it last. It's for singles who want to understand what love is

all about, so that when they do meet somebody and they fall in love they have a map, they

know what to do, they know how to keep that magic happening. This book is for everybody.

Sex is a very important part of a close relationship, and of course it's really hard to have good

sex if you don't feel safe together and you can't communicate, you can't really express

yourself, and you can't relax in somebody's arms, that's pretty difficult. What couples

tell us is, when they can do these conversations in this book, their sexual life improves.

It get better. It gets to be a safe adventure where you can combine closeness and affection

and play and eroticism. When people have this safe connection, all the research says they're

healthier. Literally, when people fight their wounds take longer to heal for example, and

they're more likely to have heart attacks.They're healthier, they feel better about themselves,

they talk about themselves in a more defined, positive way, they feel stronger, they're

more able to deal with stress. These safe bonds just help us feel more secure and healthy,

and give us resilience. They have a huge impact, not just on relationships, but on the individuals