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  • On your deathbed you will think back in your life, and you might have...regrets.

  • You will wish you'd worked harder, made more money, spent less time with your family, less time with your friends.

  • You will reminisce fondly about all the evenings you stayed home alone, so you could refresh Facebook over and over.

  • On your deathbed you will be grateful for many things.

  • Thank God you stayed in that job you hated for fear of rocking the boat.

  • Thank God you settle for friendships with total bellends instead of making the effort to meet people who were on your wavelength.

  • Thank God you ignored your dream career, so you wouldn't upset your family.

  • On your deathbed you'll be glad you didn't tell these humans you loved that you loved them before they were gone forever.

  • You'll be glad you spent years taking passive-aggressive comments personally from people who are probably just miserable dicks themselves.

  • You'll be glad that you were too cautious to pursue your actual passions in life.

  • On your deathbed you certainly won't think back on whatever it is you worried about constantly, and laugh at how utterly insignificant it actually was compared to what a fucking amazing time you could have been having with a body that hadn't started falling apart yet in an age more enlightened than any that have come before, while the people you loved was still alive.

  • You were young back then, and that was a resource more sought-after than antimatter, more expensive than a hero in Star Wars Battlefront 2.

  • Life was fleeting and luckily you wasted the entire thing.

  • What's that?

  • You only have an extremely limited period of time alive.

  • Well, better polish off another one then to that German Dominatrix whose name you can neither pronounce nor remember, and then write a long list of things you do tomorrow, which you will somehow find an excuse not to for the four thousandth day running.

  • When you were young you wanted a million things.

  • On your deathbed you want only one and that is to be young again.

  • On your deathbed you certainly won't start having awful realizations, like how the point of making money probably wasn't to make money, but to do cool stuff with it for yourself and others.

  • That the point of a long life probably wasn't to put off your real plans until tomorrow, but rather to give you more time to pursue them today.

  • Now, literally f**king now, that the points are being a talking monkey in space probably wasn't to sit watching YouTube videos by some pompous British knob end, but to have a good time with what little time there was and to make other talking monkeys feel good, too.

  • You were born into an age science fiction couldn't even imagine.

  • When your species had access to clean drinking water through magic pipes, to practically infinite information through magic wires, to devices that can materialize pizza in magic boxes at your door within 1 hour...or less.

  • Despite being surrounded by miracles on a daily basis, despite being matter that has woken up, despite the entire universe contriving to create you, you still convinced yourself that the odds were stacked against you, somehow.

  • That all the good ideas have been had, apparently, and that everything is shit for some reason.

  • So...great.

  • However you saw it at the time, the future was a branching network of opportunities and adventure.

  • At any moment you could have begun the project of refashioning your life into what you actually wanted it to look like.

  • There would be risks, there would be bad days, there would be stress, but that was nothing compared to the misery of realizing the entire lifetime had been wasted on doubts and self-sabotage.

  • The hard road was easy.

  • The easy road was hard.

  • It took 14 billion years to make you and only 90 to fuck it up.

  • And with self-doubt and apathy you did fuck it up.

  • But that is irrelevant now, at the end all things considered, all beds made or I's dotted and T's crossed because...

  • On your deathbed you will think back on your life, and you may have regrets.

  • You will wish you'd worked harder, made more money, spent less time with your family, less time with your friends.

  • And maybe even closed this tab on your browser and began taking steps towards going off to your actual passions.

  • Back when you still had your entire life ahead of you...

  • And really only yourself...

  • In your way.

  • Hey, I hope you like books about the future and physics and AI because I just put one up online...

  • The first section anyway.

  • It's set partly in the present, partly ten thousand years from now.

  • It has cats and squares and cats and it's nothing like my other stuff.

  • There's also lots of sciencing, your favorite.

  • Link below if you are interested, link below if you're not interested, link below if you are apathetic.

  • A massive thank you to everyone who supported the channel on Patreon I could not have written this without you, and I am eternally grateful.

  • Thanks I hope you like it.

  • Goodbye etc.

On your deathbed you will think back in your life, and you might have...regrets.

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