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  • - Let the record show (bell ringing)

  • that I am here under protest, (comical upbeat music)

  • finding the curriculum weak,

  • the teachers lazy,

  • and the female portion of the student body

  • to be, on average,

  • fives out of 10,

  • and that's being generous.

  • Ah, English class,

  • the period where I can zone out,

  • draw some D&D maps,

  • and still somehow pass by reading Cliff notes.

  • Man, I hate it that they make us do 25 hours

  • of community service in order to graduate.

  • Said no one ever.

  • Guys, I am telling you,

  • wearing your shirt backwards

  • is gonna be really big this year.

  • I see it all over Insta,

  • all over Snapchat,

  • my grandma even saw it on Facebook.

  • I hope over the summer you have performed

  • a major overhaul of your pedagogical methods,

  • teacher, and I use the term loosely.

  • What do you mean, I can't set up a table

  • out in front of the school

  • with a big banner that says,

  • "Dr. Jamerson is a terrible principal.

  • "Change my mind."

  • Hey kid, if you need some "help"

  • with writing an essay this year,

  • here's my card.

  • $10 a page,

  • $20 if you want more than a C plus,

  • 20% upcharge for expedited processing.

  • Somehow, I got three study hall periods this semester.

  • Oh well, looks like there'll be plenty of time

  • for comedic mischief.

  • Greetings, my classmates,

  • I assume we have all matured over the summer,

  • and this year, we'll not pull any pranks,

  • such as putting eggs in my briefcase.

  • Man, I cannot wait until drama class,

  • so I can share all the traumas in my life

  • under the pretenses of "acting."

  • You know what drive me to play hard

  • every single day,

  • and always give 110%?

  • It's my dream, man.

  • My dream of goin' to the NFL,

  • and gettin' that multi-million dollar contract,

  • and tellin' this school to (bleep) off

  • when they come after me for a donation.

  • Man, I cannot wait until the first band practice

  • of the year, so I can blast my trumpet aggressively,

  • and "accidentally" empty my spit valve

  • onto a freshman.

  • Wow, senior year of high school.

  • Just 10 short years ago,

  • all I cared about was getting some sprinkles

  • on my ice cream, and getting home in time

  • to watch Arthur, and now look at me.

  • One year closer to inevitable death.

  • That feeling when, after the first day of literature class,

  • you realize you understand the material

  • more than the teacher does.

  • She didn't even know half of the themes and motifs

  • in "Crime and Punishment," SMH.

  • Guys, we have got to solve

  • the bullying crisis

  • in this school.

  • I say we confront the bullies

  • and hug them.

  • Just, just hug the bullying right out of them.

  • And if that doesn't work,

  • I have some friends on the wrestling team

  • who can choke it out of them.

  • We all know I'm gonna be the prom king this year, right?

  • So I gotta start watchin' my figure, man,

  • I can't have any more of those unhealthy school lunches.

  • Although, I did see today they're having

  • fish and chips, and I could use some omega-3s.

  • Guys, I-- Guys, I am telling you.

  • Guys, (laughs) guys!

  • Guys, we have,

  • guys, we have got to solve, guys!

  • Guys!

- Let the record show (bell ringing)

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B1 US man bullying class hug solve high school

16 Personalities as High School Students

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    Mahiro Kitauchi posted on 2020/06/16
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