B1 Intermediate US 15 Folder Collection
After playing the video, you can click or select the word to look it up in the dictionary.
Loading...
Report Subtitle Errors
Imagine you hear your partner let out an exasperated sigh.
In that fleeting moment, you have a choice: keep going about your day
OR - ask what's on their mind.
These small, daily crossroads may seem insignificant,
but the choices you make while interacting with your partner
could, over time, make or break your relationship.
The sigh is what relationship researchers
Drs. John and Julie Gottman
would call a BID for connection.
Bids can be small or big,
verbal or nonverbal.
We can choose to TURN TOWARDS our partners in these moments
and accept their bids.
Or TURN AWAY from them
and ignore their bids.
The Gottmans have spent 4 decades
studying thousands of couples to answer the question:
What separates the relationship Masters from the relationship Disasters?
They found a critical difference
in how each type of couple responds to bids for connection.
In these moments, Masters turn towards each other 86% of the time.
Disasters turn towards each other only 33% of the time.
A tendency to turn towards your partner
forms the basis of trust,
emotional connection,
passion,
and a satisfying sex life.
When couples break up,
it's usually not because of big issues like conflict or infidelity.
More often,
it's a result of the resentment and distance that build up over time
when partners continually turn away from bids for connection.
So take a page from the relationship Masters' playbook.
Notice when your partner makes a bid.
Show interest,
ask questions,
nod,
listen,
and put away your screens.
Choose to turn towards your partner.
    You must  Log in  to get the function.
Tip: Click on the article or the word in the subtitle to get translation quickly!

Loading…

The Easiest Way to Improve Your Relationship | The Gottman Institute

15 Folder Collection
Mahiro Kitauchi published on June 15, 2020
More Recommended Videos
  1. 1. Search word

    Select word on the caption to look it up in the dictionary!

  2. 2. Repeat single sentence

    Repeat the same sentence to enhance listening ability

  3. 3. Shortcut

    Shortcut!

  4. 4. Close caption

    Close the English caption

  5. 5. Embed

    Embed the video to your blog

  6. 6. Unfold

    Hide right panel

  1. Listening Quiz

    Listening Quiz!

  1. Click to open your notebook

  1. UrbanDictionary 俚語字典整合查詢。一般字典查詢不到你滿意的解譯,不妨使用「俚語字典」,或許會讓你有滿意的答案喔