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  • - Do I have to spray this man?

  • Is a thought that comes into my head

  • so many times daily, you'd be surprised.

  • - Daily?

  • (fun music)

  • I'm Nate.

  • - And I'm Destiny.

  • - How many dates have we been on?

  • - In life (laughing).

  • - Yeah.

  • What do you define as a date?

  • - I think like us going out and doing an activity together.

  • - I'd probably say like, probably like 50 then.

  • Yeah, something like that.

  • - Wow.

  • - Is that a lot?

  • - Nate gets out.

  • I think I've been on maybe, like date dates,

  • maybe like 25 dates.

  • I think maybe less, honestly,

  • now that I'm thinking about it probably 15.

  • (jazz music)

  • - I'm only gonna drink when you drink.

  • (laughing)

  • - This is gonna be fun.

  • How do you ask someone out on a date?

  • - I personally ask them out very directly.

  • I say, hey, you seem really nice,

  • I'd like to get to know you more.

  • Are you available at this time for this activity?

  • - Wow. - Yeah.

  • 'Cause then it's like it's a yes or a no.

  • - Good for you.

  • - Yeah.

  • - You know, not a lot of men do that anymore nowaday.

  • - I learned that the hard way.

  • I'm just like, that's probably best.

  • - Yeah, that is best.

  • - Yeah, what about you,

  • how do you ask somebody out on a date?

  • - I don't.

  • - You don't?

  • What do you do if you like somebody?

  • You just send vibes out?

  • - I just yeah, I send vibes out

  • and hope that they ask me.

  • - You just radiate attraction.

  • - Thirst, I believe is (laughing) what it's called.

  • I must.

  • Maybe I should be more direct, wow.

  • - What is your ideal first date?

  • - Hmm. - Yeah.

  • - That's tough.

  • I feel like it really depends on the person,

  • but I think that like for me,

  • I love like a drink or something quick,

  • because dinner is too long (laughing)

  • if things aren't well.

  • - I'm the same, I like something

  • that's a little bit more on the small end,

  • where like we're get like coffee,

  • kind of in like an outdoor cafe.

  • Or we'll like meet up at like a park real quick.

  • But something that has the potential

  • so like I can bail if it's like, this ain't gonna work out,

  • I wanna get out of here.

  • Or if it's going well, I'm like,

  • hey, do you wanna grab some lunch?

  • - Right, smart.

  • - Then you turn it into food.

  • - Turn in, rah.

  • I like that.

  • - But I like that bail factor.

  • I like to know I can escape.

  • - Same.

  • - [Producer] Have you bailed before?

  • - Totally.

  • I've so bailed.

  • You can always tell within like the first minute or two,

  • you're like this is gonna go well.

  • And then, sometimes, you're like this is gonna suck.

  • - What's your grooming routine?

  • - My grooming routine,

  • mine's probably the same for my daily life.

  • I probably like just pick it up a little bit extra,

  • but like - what do you do?

  • - Just like shower, shave.

  • - Brush your hair.

  • - Brush my hair.

  • I have dry shampoo now.

  • I do that now.

  • - It's pretty much the same.

  • I might do a little bit extra make-up

  • or like a extra touch of something,

  • curl my hair a little more.

  • I feel like a lot of women have a tendency

  • to like shave our legs

  • even though it's like no one's touching my legs.

  • It's like, probably don't have to do that.

  • - It doesn't take me long to get ready,

  • but I end up taking a long time to get ready.

  • As I'll be ready, and I'm like I'm good to go,

  • and then I'll look in the mirror

  • and I'm like, but do I like this shirt?

  • - Same, I think it takes me longer,

  • not because I'm doing anything different,

  • but because I'm like nervous,

  • or I'm stopping a lot to be like okay, what should I say,

  • or like how should we?

  • Like looking again.

  • It's a lot of like refixing or like what shoes?

  • Versus like

  • - Mixing and matching.

  • - Mixing and matching, all that.

  • - Yeah.

  • - Are you bringing anything to defend yourself

  • in case of a certain situation, ie pepper spray?

  • - Nah.

  • I've never been in a situation

  • where I've been physically threatened

  • and, I don't know, I think that's like

  • less common with guys.

  • - Yeah, how pleasant it must be to be a man.

  • - Sorry.

  • - I have pepper spray, I have a knife, I have a taser.

  • - You have a knife?

  • - I have everything you need.

  • I've been on dates where I've had to pull both out.

  • - Oh (beep).

  • - Yeah.

  • - Like knife in one hand, taser in the other hand.

  • - Ready.

  • I've never had anyone like in public try to do anything,

  • so it's like, that's fine,

  • but I always carry protection.

  • (upbeat music)

  • (laughing)

  • Now, I don't wanna drink,

  • 'cause you're gonna drink every time I drink.

  • - We're just in this together.

  • - Mmhmm.

  • - What's your ideal arrival time?

  • - Ooh, I'm usually a little early

  • just so I can scout the place out,

  • look for my exits (laughing).

  • Parking, like all that kind of stuff.

  • So, maybe like 10 minutes early.

  • I'll be like oh, I grabbed a table, or like whatever.

  • - I am comically early to everything I do.

  • So, I usually get there, sometimes way too early,

  • and then I have to like sit or hide in my car

  • and then, come in, I just got here.

  • - Right. - Yeah.

  • - I've done that before.

  • - What is appropriate to eat on a date?

  • - You know, some women, I've heard women

  • like totally never wanna see a guy again

  • because of what he ordered at a bar, or ordered to eat,

  • and I'm like, I don't get that.

  • - Why?

  • - I don't know.

  • They're like he's a kid, he ordered chicken fingers.

  • And I'm like I probably

  • would have ordered chicken fingers, too.

  • I don't care what you eat.

  • Really, it's about how you eat it.

  • But that's a whole nother (laughing).

  • - He's got like ranch all over his face.

  • - Yeah, and I've been on dates like that

  • where I'm like are you trying to eat the plate, too?

  • Or like what's going on?

  • But when I go on dates, I mean,

  • and maybe this is very old-fashioned,

  • how it's like women get a light, a salad,

  • I usually get something kind of light,

  • just because like, mama loves some chicken wings,

  • but like, I'm not trying to be on a date

  • suckin' on a bone and like really going to town.

  • So on a date, especially the first date,

  • I try to be dainty.

  • - I love that, just like tell me about yourself (sucking).

  • I tend to match.

  • So, like I'll let whoever I'm goin' out with order first,

  • and then I'll go off of,

  • like if they get a salad, I'll try and get a salad.

  • - Oh.

  • - Just 'cause like if I'm

  • I'm gettin' this big ol' burger

  • and then they got like a salad.

  • I'm just sittin' there just like yeah,

  • what do you like to do for fun?

  • And just like look like a fool.

  • - But what if you really wanted that burger?

  • - I suffer.

  • I suffer for the date is what I do.

  • - Good man.

  • - Or like on the way home, I'll go through the drive thru.

  • - What conversations should be avoided?

  • A lot (laughing).

  • - Yeah.

  • I always play it by ear.

  • Like if there's something they wanna talk about,

  • and it's not just like

  • let me tell you about my ex-boyfriend.

  • - Ooh.

  • - Then it's like okay, I'll listen.

  • Like I've had first dates where like

  • they wanted to talk about their family.

  • I've had first dates where they wanna bring up politics.

  • It's sometimes like a thing where they like

  • ah this is something that's important to me.

  • And I have to tell you now,

  • 'cause it's that important to me.

  • - Okay.

  • Honestly, that's fair.

  • Most of the people,

  • I feel like that I agree to go on a date with,

  • I think however we met or however we were chatting prior,

  • we kind of touch on some of those topics

  • a little before we even get to the date,

  • because some of those things are really important.

  • - Deal breakers!

  • - Yeah, and I'm like it's not gonna work.

  • But if you know, you don't get that far

  • before you actually go out,

  • as long as you're mature about it,

  • I don't think that like religion, politics,

  • other social aspects, I don't think they should be

  • - Taboo. - Taboo,

  • like, I think there's a way to touch on it,

  • and if you see it's going left,

  • then be like, got it, like I understand

  • we're very different, you know?

  • - Yeah.

  • - Who's paying for the date?

  • - It depends.

  • If I have like a pretty decent time,

  • or if it's like somebody that I'm like you know what,

  • I had a nice time,

  • even if I don't have a romantic connection at the end of it,

  • I'm just gonna pay for convenience sake.

  • But if it's like additional times, like if I see them again

  • or if we've been going out for a while,

  • I'm not gonna automatically try and pay

  • each and every time.

  • That's just gonna rack up.

  • - So, the first one's on you, the rest?

  • - Yeah, the first one's on me.

  • Or if it's just like a really bad time

  • and I haven't like escaped in a cloud of smoke yet,

  • then I'm gonna just sit there

  • and the check's gonna be there

  • and I'm just gonna be like yeah, we should split this, huh?

  • Yeah.

  • - Someone told me, and I don't know

  • if this is a thing for all men, or like for whom,

  • but some men said that like they get offended

  • when women offer because it's like a manhood thing.

  • So, now I just sit back quietly and I wait,

  • 'cause I'm like, I don't wanna offend someone

  • by being like I have money.

  • - Nah, any dude that gets offended

  • that you're trying to pay for his food or his drink

  • is an insecure guy.

  • He's just like how dare you give me money.

  • - Right, I mean, I don't mind paying,

  • but I think I like when the guy pays

  • on the first date at least.

  • Like it's kinda nice.

  • It's like oh, gifts, that is my love language.

  • (romantic music)

  • - How do you let your date down if you're not feeling them?

  • - I've had to do this many times.

  • Well, not, I don't sound like

  • - Many, many times.

  • - Every time!

  • The best way I do it,

  • is I just like keep saying like I had such a good time,

  • like but I really gotta go to bed.

  • Or I don't like to lie,

  • but I'm always like I have to get up early in the morning.

  • That's my go-to.

  • If I say that, you know I'm not trying to hang out with you.

  • - I personally really don't like ghosting.

  • It's like a huge pet peeve of mine when it happens to me.

  • And I don't like to do it.

  • Like even not romantic way, like if a friend calls me,

  • I gotta call him back.

  • - Oh, you're such a good person.

  • - I try.

  • - I'd be like bye (laughing).

  • - But no, if it just didn't go well,

  • and then they come back after me,

  • and they're like yo, hey, that was really fun.

  • I liked that a lot.

  • I'd like to see you again.

  • I'm just gonna say no.

  • I'm just gonna say, that was nice,

  • it was cool to meet you,

  • not rally interested in doing that again.

  • - So you just say that?

  • - Yeah.

  • - How do I do that?

  • Teach me.

  • - So, what you do is you say,

  • hey, yeah, no, I didn't really like that.

  • - Hey, yeah, no.

  • Will there be a kiss at the end of the date?

  • - That depends.

  • Even sometimes if I really had a good time,

  • I still might not try and kiss them.

  • I'm very slow about it.

  • - I feel like when I first was in the dating game,

  • I was like I'm all game, we can do whatever you want.

  • But I'm now I'm kinda like

  • like I just move a lot slower these days, you know.

  • Like even if I want to kiss that person.

  • 'Cause, I mean, I've been on dates

  • where I'm like romantically attracted,

  • and I was like oh, I'd love to kiss him.

  • Look at those lips.

  • But like, even at the end of the date, I'm like no,

  • maybe one more date.

  • Like lemme, you know.

  • (romantic music)

  • I learned from Nate that it's best to be honest and direct.

  • Like yeah, we all say ghosting is mean,

  • and it is, but we all do it.

  • (laughing)

  • Too often.

  • But just be up front and honest.

  • If you're not feelin' someone

  • and they're clearly feelin' you, don't waste their time.

  • They put themselves out there.

  • Have the decency of saying, you know what,

  • you're a great guy, you're somebody else's husband,

  • you're not mine.

  • And just put it like that.

  • Like that?

  • - I do like that.

  • - Cheers to dating etiquette.

  • (clink)

  • - Ah!

  • (laughing)

  • (romantic music)

- Do I have to spray this man?

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