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  • Hey, what's up?

  • It's Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV.

  • The place to be to create a business and life you love.

  • This is the MarieTV Call-In Show where we take live calls and try and help some people

  • out.

  • This is Gregory Patterson.

  • Well, howdy doody?

  • Always the one who's making me look fabulous with the hair and I just love him.

  • We just have a good time together.

  • So, let's do this.

  • Hello?

  • Roxanne?

  • Yes?

  • It's Marie Forleo and you are on the MarieTV Call-In Show.

  • Oh my gosh.

  • Really?

  • Yes.

  • You're on.

  • There's Team Forleo here.

  • Gregory is here.

  • Hello.

  • We are so excited to connect with you.

  • Tell us your question and we will do our very best to help you out.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • My goodness gracious.

  • Thank you so much for calling me and I just love you.

  • Absolutely love you.

  • I discovered you not too long ago.

  • I am wanting to understand how to present myself.

  • I want to understand how to present myself with vulnerability.

  • Show my vulnerability and still show that I'm capable of helping people guiding and

  • coaching.

  • Great.

  • Tell me more.

  • I'm coming from a past with trauma.

  • I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

  • I use art forms as my primary form of recovery practice.

  • I would love to share with other people how to recover their creative self whether they

  • think of themselves as artists or not because I think that creativity is very healing.

  • So I've always been a very private person and I was never sure how much to divulge and

  • how to present myself.

  • I'm kind of on the line of I feel like if I don't share, then I just really won't connect

  • with people.

  • I agree.

  • First of all, I'm so happy that you're sharing this question.

  • I know that we have tens of thousands and in the world there are millions of people

  • who also have PTSD or battle against anxiety or depression or any range and number of issues

  • that in the past has had some stigma with it.

  • As you said, those days are over.

  • So many of us need to share honestly and bravely about the things that we struggle with and

  • personally, Roxanne, I think that people who share about what they've been through, and

  • frankly what they're still going through and what they're battling against, those are the

  • people that we trust the most.

  • In this world of coaching and personally development and experts, I think the old model was all

  • about some sage on the stage that's always how I like to characterize it where someone

  • was standing up there and pretending like they have all the answers and they never make

  • any mistakes.

  • They're gonna bestow upon you this wisdom and guide you to the promised land.

  • First of all, I think all of that is bullshit.

  • I think it's so in authentic.

  • It is not true.

  • Every single one of us is a work in progress.

  • We are all learning.

  • We're all trying our best.

  • We will all face challenges.

  • Not only the ones that we had in our past, but there's ones coming up in the future.

  • I always like to describe myself never as a sage on the stage and always as a guide

  • on the side.

  • What does that mean?

  • That means I'm someone who is really enthusiastic first of all about learning, second of all

  • about using ideas for myself to see what works and what doesn't.

  • Then third, with sharing those ideas, the things I think are valuable with folks who

  • might also be interested and might also want to try these things.

  • I think for you, making that internal shift like, you know what?

  • Roxanne, you're a guide on the side and you have every right to share things.

  • Not like you're better than or less.

  • I know that's not the total crux of your question.

  • We'll get to the sharing and the vulnerability in minute.

  • But I like that framework because it allows me to then pour myself into a positioning

  • where I'm not better, I'm not less, and I can look at what to share that is relevant

  • for my audience.

  • I think this word relevance will be really important for you as you move ahead.

  • Know that sharing about your PTSD and the details that surround it, how much you share

  • is completely up to you.

  • You can start off dipping your toe in the water telling one or two stories.

  • Have your comfort level expand.

  • Then as you continue to engage with your audience, you'll know and you'll feel where you may

  • want to keep some details private just because that feels authentic to you and other places

  • where you're like, you know what?

  • I really do need to share this because all of these other folks in my audience have battled

  • something similar and it'll help them know they're not alone.

  • Yes.

  • And I really love the fact that you talk about sharing stories as opposed to sharing diagnoses

  • for example.

  • Saying, oh PTSD.

  • I think it's more authentic to talk about what it is and what the experience of it is

  • as opposed to just the name of it.

  • That's right.

  • One way that you can frame it is you can say, hey all of us have had challenging things

  • that we've battled in our past.

  • All of us have had things that we've experienced before that may be holding us back now and

  • we're not quite sure how to move through them.

  • For me, I can tell you a story about this or I can tell you a story about this time

  • when I was 15 or when I was 11.

  • How that manifests for me now is x, y, and z.

  • I want to take you on this journey moving forward so we can both learn, so we can all

  • support each other.

  • So I can share with you some of the tools and the understandings and the strategies

  • that not only have helped me, but that have continued and do continue to help me.

  • We can learn as we move forward together.

  • Can you see how with that type of framing, you're allowing yourself to be vulnerable

  • but you're also still communicating that you're capable?

  • Yes.

  • Yes.

  • Absolutely.

  • Absolutely.

  • This helpful?

  • Tremendously helpful.

  • It's very affirming.

  • I think I was there in my mind and I think there was a fear of just dipping that toe

  • in the water and moving forward.

  • Once I make the decision, I'm ready to go.

  • Yes, Roxanne.

  • That's what we like to hear.

  • Just know this is a process for all of us.

  • I think we're living in such a new time that can be filled with some conflicts about how

  • much do we share about ourselves.

  • This online space and the span of human history.

  • Having these tools available to us where we can share everything and people can comment

  • and people can get upset.

  • A lot of people are very brave with their anonymity behind a keyboard.

  • They say things they would never say to you in person.

  • I think it's natural to feel some of that trepidation.

  • It's natural to have some of those inner conflicts with how much do I share.

  • But when you're committed to not only a message but to transforming other people's lives and

  • having them feel safe around you and letting them know that they're not alone, it becomes

  • a lot easier.

  • We take that light and rather than shining it on ourselves and our fear, we turn it outward

  • to being of service.

  • For me, that has made all the difference.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • Awesome.

  • Yes.

  • Me too.

  • For me too.

  • Awesome.

  • Roxanne, you keep us posted.

  • We're gonna be cheering you on and I can't wait to hear your updates as they come along.

  • Thank you so much.

  • I'm so excited to start this challenge for women.

  • I really adore you Marie.

  • Thank you so much for your help.

  • Have a great rest of the day.

  • You too.

  • We adore you too darling.

  • Good luck with your challenge.

  • Bye.

  • Thank you.

  • Hello?

  • Hi.

  • Is this Esther?

  • Yes, this is Esther.

  • Hey, it's Marie Forleo and you are on the MarieTV Call-In Show.

  • How's it going?

  • Oh my god.

  • This is awesome.

  • Yes, it is awesome.

  • You're here with Team Forleo and Gregory and we are so excited.

  • Tell us your question and we will do our very best to help you out.

  • Sure.

  • My husband and I, we recently started a blog-based business called Wayfinders Now.

  • We are in the process of trying to figure out exactly what our niche should be.

  • Some examples of ones that we have are we live on a 35-foot sailboat.

  • I'm learning about sailing.

  • We're both artists.

  • We've cultivated more flexible work lives.

  • We're caregivers for a loved one with dementia.

  • We're also wanting to incorporate zero waste sustainability practices.

  • I'm also a woman of color.

  • We've got a lot of areas of interest.

  • I guess my main question is, should we narrow down or not necessarily?

  • How can I be more intentional about how we can serve our audience.

  • Absolutely.

  • First of all, Esther I just think it's so incredible.

  • Clearly you are a multi-passionate entrepreneur.

  • Clearly you and your husband, you guys are very creative beings and there are so many

  • of us in the world.

  • I think there's a lot of folks listening right now like, oh my gosh, how did they figure

  • that out?

  • I would like to be on a sailboat.

  • That's amazing.

  • I'm gonna ask you a few questions and we'll see if we can help you find some clarity.

  • First, are you guys making money with this business right now?

  • No.

  • We are not.

  • Then it sounds like you have created your life...

  • And we don't need to get into this.

  • I don't want you divulging anything that you don't feel comfortable with.

  • You've created your life in such a way where you don't necessarily need an income from

  • this new business at this point.

  • Is that correct?

  • That is correct.

  • We're able to be flexible where one of us can hold down the fort, so to speak.

  • About a month and a half ago I've had the liberty to focus solely on this now.

  • Beautiful.

  • For the first time.

  • That's great.

  • That is awesome.

  • Congratulations.

  • We love that.

  • We are cheering that on.

  • What I would encourage you to do is really get clear on what your goals are for this

  • business.

  • Some people start a business and they're like, you know what?

  • It would be amazing if in the next one year or two years, three years, I could reach this

  • hundred thousand dollar in revenue mark.

  • That is a number I'm pulling out of my butt.

  • Some people are higher, some people are lower.

  • When we're talking about a for profit business, putting some type of financial goal in place

  • is really helpful, especially at the stage you're at right now.

  • I'll tell you why.

  • When it is a for profit business, it has to make profit.

  • For you to know how much you would like to make starts to give you something to measure

  • all of your ideas against.

  • You can look at all of these ideas and go, hmmm.

  • Being a caregiver for a loved one with dementia, what are the possibilities to earn revenue

  • in that space?

  • What are the services?

  • What are the products I could offer?

  • What are the price points?

  • How much would I have to work?

  • How much would I have to make all of this work together in order to possibly reach the

  • financial goal that I've set as important to me?

  • Then you measure that against sailing.

  • This is just one framework, just one lens that we're looking through initially because

  • this is not just a simple black and white answer.

  • Esther, you getting clear on your financial reasons for wanting to start this business

  • is one thing I'm gonna encourage you to really look at.

  • Then we're gonna look at the topic areas.

  • Which of the seven, ten, five, three, whatever number that is...

  • When you honestly get real with yourself and you think about devoting five, ten, 15 hours

  • a day to this particular topic area for the next 12 months, 24, 36 months, which of them

  • makes you want to stick a fucking fork in your eye and which of them makes your heart

  • light up?

  • Because I will tell you, like you as a multi-passionate entrepreneur, there are many, many different

  • things that I could focus on.

  • There are many ways that we could earn money with the business.

  • I focus on what brings me to life, what makes me come alive, what makes me want to research

  • and talk about and learn about and test literally until my eyeballs could fall out.

  • That's how passionate I am about the things that we say yes to.

  • You put all of your ideas through that lovely filter.

  • Then that'll help you narrow it down.

  • Then you want to think about the market itself, meaning who are the people that you would

  • be serving.

  • For example, I know in my own business I'm dealing with a lot of creatives.

  • I'm dealing with artists.

  • I'm dealing with multi-passionate entrepreneurs mostly.

  • Not all, but mostly.

  • We have a lot of folks in our audience who even if they do work within a corporate environment

  • or maybe they work for the government or are teachers, there is this creative spirit within

  • them that still finds a way to come to life in their work.

  • For example, I don't think that I would necessarily work well if I only focused on let's say corporate

  • accountants, if that was the only niche that I was going to because I don't necessarily

  • have a lot in common with just that narrow type of human.

  • Does that make sense?

  • Yes.

  • By the way, for all you corporate accounts that are listening.

  • I love you motherfuckers.

  • I'm saying, if it was all just you, I might get a little bored, 'cause I need some more

  • variety.

  • Does that make sense?

  • You have to serve people where you feel this deep, heart-centered love towards the audience.

  • You know why?

  • Because you are gonna wanna work your ass off to deliver value to them.

  • You're gonna constantly, without feeling the need like you should, you're gonna be reading

  • the right magazines.

  • You're gonna be going to the conferences.

  • You're gonna be naturally finding and unearthing the newest, cutting-edge research, or whatever

  • is necessary to stay at the top of your field.

  • Those are some of the things that I think you should consider.

  • Then once you've narrowed down, you're gonna have to choose one based on your intuition

  • and hit it.

  • What I mean by that?

  • Clarity comes from engagement, not thought.

  • There's no magic business crystal ball that's gonna be able to tell you.

  • Not me, not any other business strategist or coach, and if somebody tells you that they

  • can, run, 'cause they're a fucking liar.

  • No one will be able to tell you what will actually work until you get out in the field

  • and start doing it.

  • Start engaging.

  • Start working within that industry, even if it's for free.

  • That's where you're gonna find that clarity, Esther.

  • And any time your mind's like "But I need to figure it all out in advance!"

  • Say "Nope," cut that conversation off, and take a step.

  • Take action, and remember that clarity comes from engagement, not thought.

  • So awesome.

  • It's all figureoutable, right?

  • It really is.

  • Esther, we love you.

  • I hope that this was helpful for you.

  • Definitely.

  • Really empowering.

  • Thank you so much for taking the time.

  • Absolutely.

  • Thank you.

  • We're wishing you luck, and please do keep us posted on your progress.

  • Definitely.

  • Take care.

  • Have a great day.

  • Bye, darling.

  • Bye.

  • Hello?

  • Hi there.

  • Hi!

  • Is this Eli and Joseph?

  • Oh, we can see them.

  • Hey, guys.

  • Hi!

  • You're on with Team Forleo.

  • Gregory's here, and we are so excited to have you on the MarieTV Call-In show.

  • We're so excited to be talking with you guys.

  • Yay!

  • So tell us your question, and we will do our very best to help you guys out.

  • Okay.

  • So after more than two years of planning and doing B-School and designing websites and

  • writing blogs and connecting to our tribe, and sending the surveys and doing all of that

  • stuff.

  • Online and live classes.

  • So our question is, we're still limping along a little bit.

  • Our question is, do we keep showing up, trying new approaches and hoping that the world starts

  • to take notice?

  • Or at what point do we say "I think we're done," and we start barking up another tree?

  • Yes.

  • Great question, you guys.

  • If I'm understanding correctly, some of your retreats have sold out, yes?

  • Yes.

  • Okay, cool.

  • You're getting confetti thrown for you, because that's awesome, and we always like when things

  • sell out.

  • So, a couple of things.

  • We're gonna step back for a moment first.

  • Most businesses, in my experience, take much longer than two years.

  • And if heard you right, a piece of that two years -- a large piece of it -- has been spent

  • learning, understanding, taking classes, really absorbing how to do this.

  • So it's not like it's been two years of nose to the grindstone, every single day, marketing

  • your butts off and putting out all these offers.

  • A big piece of that has been the learning piece, yeah?

  • Oh yeah.

  • Yes.

  • Big piece.

  • And it continues to be, as we get more into it, learning to do the online courses and

  • how to launch it, and doing the pre-launching, and the email sequence.

  • Really developing it.

  • It's overwhelming.

  • I know, I am with you, I've been down all those paths.

  • So all good.

  • I would say, understanding that, especially these kind of businesses, they're a long game.

  • When you hear stories like "Oh my god, I hit six figures in six months!"

  • It's like, I wanna smack all those people, 'cause nine times out of 10, that's not true.

  • It takes time to learn all this stuff.

  • One of the questions you guys should ask yourself is, do we love this business or an aspect

  • of this business, one of these offerings enough, to really keep going?

  • For me, I had seven years of side gigs as I was growing my business, understanding e-courses,

  • understanding how to do launches, understanding how to create content consistently, until

  • I got to a place financially and creatively to be able to do my business full-time.

  • And my story is not unique.

  • I was actually just writing a chapter in my book about how, and again, this is different

  • context, but my friend Elizabeth Gilbert, I think it was the first 10 years of her writing

  • career, she had side jobs.

  • And then she published some books and still had side jobs before things really started

  • to cook and roll.

  • My friend Steven Pressfield, I feel like it was 17 years before he published his first

  • novel.

  • And I understand a business is different than a writing career, but the point is still the

  • same.

  • Things take much longer than we want them to, always, especially in the business world.

  • And I think in the online space, it can become easy to be seduced by the success stories

  • of people just hitting it, hitting it fast, and then we make ourselves feel like shit

  • and think that we're either failures or we're not fast enough, or this isn't working, when

  • really it's just about patience.

  • But, your question to yourselves, should we bark up another tree, that's less about the

  • results right now and more about you guys tapping in and going "Do we wanna keep pushing

  • it on this lever?

  • Do we love these retreats so much that we're gonna keep barking up this tree, even if it

  • takes us another two to three years to really hit the type of revenue and profit goals that

  • we know we can?"

  • The other thing I wanna say to you guys is this.

  • When you're starting a business, it's a lot of throwing spaghetti at the wall.

  • It's a lot of seeing what sticks.

  • And we don't know that until we actually do it.

  • Sometimes people are like "You've gotta have a membership site," and you go do a membership

  • site and you're like "I hate this shit!"

  • Or other people are like "Oh my God, you gotta sell e-courses.

  • That's where it all's at."

  • And you're like "You know what?

  • I really don't like it."

  • But you guys, you're like, these retreats.

  • All of a sudden these retreats are the things that are selling out.

  • If there's actually an alignment between you guys enjoying this and understanding, wow,

  • our audience seems to respond to this, and there's all these things we could improve.

  • My point is, you wanna do more of what works.

  • Rather than following a set formula or road map or script about what your modern business

  • should look like, I want you guys to take a step back and go "What in our business is

  • working?

  • Are these retreats working?

  • And do I love them enough, do we love them enough, to make them the best in the marketplace?

  • How can we innovate?

  • How can we charge more?

  • What does it look like if we put the mass amounts of our energy towards making this

  • work?"

  • Does that make sense?

  • Yeah.

  • Yes.

  • Definitely.

  • It's just a lot of what we read and everything's like, "Choose the one thing, stay with that,

  • don't veer," and then we're both feeling called to... like Joseph right now is feeling called

  • to doing a smoking cessation residential program.

  • Four years ago, I went through a cancer ordeal.

  • I learned a lot through all that, and I wanna do kind of a cancer recovery thing.

  • So even though we might not be working specifically together on that same goal, we're really being

  • called to go in that direction.

  • But we're a little bit scared, even though it feels really exciting to us.

  • What's scary?

  • I'm curious.

  • What's scary about it?

  • Is it because it's something you really want, or it's just something you haven't seen done

  • before?

  • No, we're fine that it hasn't been done before.

  • What's scary is that in order to put energy towards that, 'cause the last two years we've

  • been doing all of that plus our interior design business.

  • And we just decided two and a half weeks ago, okay, we have to let go of our interior design

  • business in order to put 152% towards all the else that we're doing.

  • It's been hard.

  • Our side gig was not just a side gig, it was like a major business that takes a lot of

  • time and effort.

  • It's so hard to focus on healing when you're designing five different remodeling projects

  • at once.

  • Yes.

  • The energy's so different.

  • So we decided, you know what?

  • If we're really committed to this, we need to let go of the big projects, maybe just

  • do some smaller things, and really jump with our two feet into this.

  • This is really what our passion is, is to really support other people to their highest

  • potential.

  • Yeah.

  • I love this, and I think you guys have given us all a clue too, and I know this to be true

  • in my own life.

  • When I'm spread too thin, and there's too much happening, I am not at my best.

  • Simplify to amplify, right?

  • Simplify to amplify.

  • I've always reapplied that in my life, because chaos theory.

  • Things have a way, especially when you're creative, when you're multi-passionate, when

  • you wanna help a lot of people, there's all these new projects that come onto your plate.

  • All these new things that you can do, and it takes a conscious intentional effort to

  • say no, and to peel things off of your plate.

  • So then rather than having your focus spread so thin and it's so not powerful, you get

  • laser focused, and the whole beam of your energy and your soul fires into that one,

  • two, or maybe even three projects, and that's when you take them up.

  • So I think, based on what y'all are saying, you're in the right zone.

  • And here's the thing.

  • None of us have a crystal ball when it comes to business, or when it comes to any project.

  • And I feel like when we get to the end of our lives, when we look back, we are gonna

  • be so grateful that we took the risks on things that we really believed in.

  • Even if they don't turn out as we had hoped, there's always this incredible learning that

  • happens, and usually it informs where we're supposed to go next.

  • You could have never come to this insight or this new level, even if we fail and flop,

  • which I've done a million times, it always brings me to something beautiful that's next.

  • That had I stayed safe, had I said "You know what, I'm not gonna do it because I'm afraid,"

  • I would've missed out on so many pieces on my life that I've most treasured.

  • I think you guys are right on the money.

  • I think simplify to amplify.

  • Take a look at what's working, do more of that.

  • And I also wanna recommend this.

  • While I am a fan of lifelong learning, you guys are B-Schoolers so please come back as

  • many times as you want to the community and as many times to that material.

  • Curb yourself from signing up for any more shit, because e-learning stuff can be addictive.

  • It's almost like gambling, you're like "Another program, and another program, and another

  • program!"

  • And then you get spread so thin, but you don't master anything.

  • You're both passionate, experienced enough.

  • You have enough tools inside.

  • Now is the time to apply it.

  • Awesome.

  • Great.

  • Hey, we do have one question, can we ask you?

  • Yes, of course, go for it.

  • We don't know if this, this is a place where we get stuck a little bit.

  • Our interior design business was called SublimeDesigner.com, so we were kind of known locally as the Sublime

  • Guys.

  • And then we took that and used that for our coaching business called Sublime Guys.

  • But I, Joseph, have a little bit of energy that maybe some people that don't know us

  • through interior design, which is the whole rest of the world, they might have a reaction

  • like "Oh, who are these conceited guys showing up like 'Hey, we're sublime!

  • Do what we're doing!

  • Yeah yeah yeah!'"

  • He has energy about that, and I feel like it's a really great branding because for 16

  • years we've been known as the Sublime Guys.

  • And all of a sudden, there's nothing wrong with knowing, but yeah, our life is sublime

  • and it can be for everyone and that's where we're coming from.

  • Yeah.

  • Well I definitely have feedback on this.

  • Okay.

  • I consider naming, in this specific instance, what you guys are talking about right now,

  • this is a creative cul-de-sac.

  • No one gives a shit but y'all.

  • And here's what I mean by that.

  • What your coaching clients care about is the results that you can get them.

  • I really don't think the name "Sublime" is turn-off-able enough.

  • That's not like "Oh, God, I can't even get on this website, 'cause sublime, that word's

  • awful!"

  • I don't think that's the case that we're dealing with.

  • Your clients, who will be attracted to you, they don't even care about coaching.

  • They want the results that you can promise them.

  • Don't spend any more of your precious energy thinking about the name for that.

  • And I know it's tempting.

  • I know it's tempting.

  • I know it's one of those things that you're gonna be like "But it really matters!"

  • Please trust me, it doesn't.

  • Not at this stage.

  • Keep going.

  • Focus on bringing that money in.

  • Focus on the projects that are working, and getting this new business, both of your pieces

  • of it, up and running.

  • The naming stuff, if you're gonna change it, that can happen later.

  • Awesome.

  • Really wise.

  • Yeah.

  • Thank you.

  • But you guys, we love you so much.

  • Thank you for a brilliant set of questions, and please, keep us posted on the progress

  • and keep letting us know how it's going, and I'll see you in the halls of B-School next

  • semester.

  • Awesome.

  • Sounds great.

  • Awesome.

  • Bye, you guys.

  • Love you.

  • Bye.

  • Bye. Ciao.

  • Ciao.

  • Alright, party people.

  • That wraps it up for another episode of the MarieTV Call-In Show.

  • Now, I would love to hear from you.

  • We had some great callers today, some great Qs, some great As.

  • What resonated most with you, and why?

  • Leave a comment below and let us know.

  • Now, as always, the best damn conversations happen over at the magical land of MarieForleo.com.

  • It's where Greg hangs out.

  • Dot com.

  • Dot com.

  • I'm there all the time.

  • All the time.

  • Anyway, you need to go there and leave a comment now.

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  • Thank you so much for watching, and we will catch you next time on MarieTV.

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  • I'm so tired of all this lovey-dovey shit.

  • A lot.

  • A lot.

  • A lot.

  • Well, howdy, buongiorno.

  • Howdy.

  • Howdy.

  • What's your question, darling?

  • I want a sniff.

  • I'll just stick my face in your Rice Krispy treats.

  • Are we recording?

Hey, what's up?

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