Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • [Erwin] I realize you might find what I just said depressing.

  • Therefore, I have prepared several jokes in-

  • advance to lighten the mood.

  • [Soldier] God no.

  • [Erwin] Ahem.

  • [Petra] Oh God, he's telling the jokes again. someone-

  • stop him!

  • [Erwin] I used to have a job crushing cans.

  • it was soda pressing.

  • [Awkward Silence]

  • [Erwin] Excuse me sir, would you like your milk in a bag

  • No thank you., it will just LEEK OUT.

  • [Soldiers] *mumbling* God damn. Ohhhh.

  • When's the punchline coming?

  • [Erwin] What's brown, long and sticky?

  • A Stick!

  • [Soldier] Fucking kill me!

  • [Erwin] What does a nosy pepper do?

  • Gets JALAPEN-YO business!

  • [Petra] He's literally murdering our future.

  • [Erwin] How do you tell a dog wood apart from any-

  • other tree?

  • [Soldier] YOU SUCK!

  • [Erwin] BY ITS BARK.

  • [Soldier] *mumbling* Racist.

  • [Erwin] Two sausages are lying in a frying pan, one-

  • looks at another and says "it's getting awfully hot in-

  • here." The other says "AHHH! A talking sausage!

  • [Silence]

  • [Erwin] That concludes my speech.

[Erwin] I realize you might find what I just said depressing.

Subtitles and vocabulary

Click the word to look it up Click the word to find further inforamtion about it